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sandrasha
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I have been with someone for three years who is bipolar. I would like to understand more about his illness. He does not share much about it other than telling me he is on medication. We went over some of his past history which has included reckless behavior and chance taking. He swings from being very loving and wanting, to rejecting, cold, mean spirited and hurtful. He says he wants me to leave, go on with my life, than seeks me out in a quiet way. I noticed mood changes in March, April, September and November. I am not sure if I am triggering something by saying something or doing something. Last time he scared me as he went from loving and wanting in one second to a completely different person in the next that outright rejected the last minutes reality. It really scared me that he could change that fast and deny the absolute truth of what happened just moments before. He will say it in a strong and joking like way, but it is really cold and mean. He will say I forced him to be with me, after he pursues me. Is this something that is unique to him or is this common to other bipolars. He never tells me he is depressed, he will just reject me coldly. Should I try to get him to talk more about his moods. When asked he always says I am wonderful. Anything you can tell me would be helpful |
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norma
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Dear Sandrasha, I think trying to figure out bipolar behavior is a difficult task. How do you separate what is bipolar from what is human behavior? His personality is what it is. He may just be a rejecting, cold mean person. When he is depressed he probably doesn't want anyone around him. Having a relationship with someone who doesn't even know what they want themsleves is like trying to bake a cake and the oven is off. You can mix in all the right ingredients but, if there is no heat that cake is never going to happen...and become a cake. Using this analagy, having a relationship of what your perception of what a normal relationship is supposed to be with someone who does not have a whole personality...ready to make a committment, ready to be stable, is not going to work. If you want a roller coaster relationship then this guy will give you one. If you want to have a stable relationship he may not be able to give that to you....might want to rethink what you want. hugs, Norma "In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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sandrasha
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Norma, I understand all that. Thank you for your reply. I would really like to hear from a bipolar point of view what their triggers are, how you know when personality is changing, and if they also have love advoidance issues. And no, he is not a cold person, deep down I know that. I want to learn about bipolar, not make a decision here on how I proceed.
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red1965
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Sandrasha, listen to Norma. Her council is wise. Each person with bipolar is as individual as any other person on the face of the earth. Triggers, moods, reactions, chages (timing and level), therapies, med cocktails..... are all as individual as the person. What works or doesn't work for one will not necessarily work for another. While there are comonalities (darn'd if I know if that is a word or not) there are greater differences. BTW: Norma has bipolar, I do not. This forum is comprised of individuals with bipolar and those of us with a love one that has bipolar. We are all here with one comon goal... supporting each other through the good and the bad. Take advantage of all the wisdom here, you never know who you are talking to or where they are at in their walk. We are here for you and want to help, it is up to you to listen. GOD BLESS RED |
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glory
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I don't know if this is what you want sand, but here it is from my disorder.. Diagnosis....................... Bipolar Disorder. History......................... Extreme Childhood Abuse & Molestation Triggers for Bipolar Episode.... Child crying, news of child abuse. Why triggers affect Bipolar..... Patient reverts to being a child in pain. Imagines himself back inabusive situation. Re-lives trauma and pain of abuse. Manifestation of triggered response.. Extremely confrontational, angry, crying, accusatory, irritable, irrational thought process, distant. Post edited by: morningglory/oldglory, at: 04/06/2008 15:27
"We Know We Are Out Of Step When"
We cannot walk a straight line.
We've stepped on our brother's foot.
We forget to be thankful.
We feel alone.
We think our dance is the only dance there is.
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sandrasha
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Red, thank you for the response. I guess I want to know what the common elements are. I am really here to learn about being bipolar, not for advise on relationship. Anything that I can learn about triggers and understanding the different phases would be helpful |
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sandrasha
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morningglory, Thank you for sharing this information. It was the sort of I was asking about . thanks
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norma
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Dear sandrasha, I am so sorry if I did not give you the information you wanted. Glad Gloria had the answer for you. We are here for you. hugs, Norma "In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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glory
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OK, lol now we're geting someplace. I am so glad I finally got it, sand. Thought about it all night and it hit me that you wanted facts and not opinions. Love Gloria
"We Know We Are Out Of Step When"
We cannot walk a straight line.
We've stepped on our brother's foot.
We forget to be thankful.
We feel alone.
We think our dance is the only dance there is.
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sandrasha
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Dear Norma, Thank you so much for taking the time and giving me input. I would so much like to hear from other bipolar people who are willing to share their experiences. I so want to understand this sudden changing of persona. Believe me I know about the roller coaster ride, and it is not fun |
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