Bipolar Support Group

In the past several months since my husband has been diagnosed BP, several things about our relationship have changed. I would like to mention a few and get some insight from all of you about what this is all about.

-working out of town and doesn't call home anymore

-threatens to leave in several ways lately

-says we "don't click" anymore (33 years together)

-when he is in town, he stays away as much as possible

-secretive about money

-opened a checking in the city where he's working

-bought a camper without discussing it with me.

-hardly talks to me and when he does, he seems scared

-can't look at me

-no hugs, kisses or anything else

-looses things including money

-forgets things contantly

-seems overwhelmed at all times, gets angry so easy

-won't talk about BP

-won't let me go to his psychiatrist with him

These are just some of the things that have changed in the last 6 months. He is taking meds too?! Could anyone give me insight about any of this? Thanks!

Robin, sorry you are going through this. If he was diagnosed within the last 6 months he has just began his journey. While it does take a bit for the meds to work, they should be within 6 mo, it takes even longer to find the right med combination. Very few find get it right the first time.

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If he is not living at home (or minimally), how are you sure that he is taking the meds? It is not uncomon during the early times of bipolar diagnosis for individuals to stop taking the meds (and some will try to hide it). My wife did several times during the early times of diagnosis and in spite of my vigilance I did not find out until things were really going wrong.

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There is a thread here that has alot of wisdom into why they run from the ones they love, take a look at it:

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/bipolar-support-forums/ general-support/11016-why-do-bipolars-run-from-ones-they- love

I agree wit the other post. I'm 36 years old and was diagnosed 30 years ago. In one way I was relieved but in the other way I was upset. I thought bipolar meant I was crazy. It has a lot of stigma to it.

The other post is right that getting the right drug combination is also crucial. I'm not sure if this is what happenned but if you've been bipolar you're whole life at then at the age of 30 are diganosed it could mean your case got worse even that you actually investigated getting help, so that's one issue.

The other issue are drugs, which have a lot of side effects and could take a while to click. He's right that he may not be taking his meds; I know for myself and statistically, compliance is one of the number one problems psychiatrists face with treading bipolars. Plus, the drugs you hope will work but may work for 1 thing but may have side effects or complicate another area of your disease.

The best thing right now, based on my family's response and my spouse, is to take care of yourself. It sounds counterintuitive but right now, you can't control him. Trust me my family members have tried. The best thing they did was get therapy, exercise, and socialize. The only way you can help him is by helping yourself.

I'm sorry for this event but it sounds like you're already taking care of yourself by seeking support on this forum. You are a great caregiver.