advice on bipolar boyfriend

I suspect my boyfriend has bipolar. We were together happily for 2 months. Same as others' stories, promised marriage, long term commitment, sweet, caring..Then he got mad at me for a trivial mistake ...I have valid reasons for doing so but he became very mad and wont speak to me for two weeks...I broke up with him then...

After a month, he asked for forgiveness and promised to change...We tried to work it out for 3 weeks or so but I noticed that he is not the same anymore...He has become very cold and distant, not calling as frequent as before...He said he is not okay is very depressed, triggered by our fight which was a month ago already....I think this is not normal reaction with dealing with situations..He had a difficult childhood, is not close with any family member...I thought at first that he just has issues but his behaviour lately led me to believe he may be bipolar..

I asked him to get help..he said he would but just needs more time...I dont feel the connection anymore...He does not want to talk about his problems...When we are together, he wants to keep things light and fun but I cannot pretend everything is ok and back to normal when I know it's not...

I broke up with him again but he refused to take the second break up seriously, pretending nothing happened...

He still calls although very infrequent but is still sweet as if were still okay...I have a hunch that he calls during his "good days" and ignores me completely on his "bad days"...

I need your advice, this has been bothering me for months already...

Does he sound like a bipolar? Is a healthy relationship with a bipoloar possible at all? How can I move on without him dragging me back?

Thanks!

As to boyfriend...only a doctor can make diagnosis of bipolar disease. Everyone has bad and good days...bipolar disease is one in which the chemistry of the brain does not work properly...it is a serious mental illness.

You might want to look at the information in the dependency group in MDJunction...it has some things in it that may be helpful in relationships.

You can move on by dating other people and not dwelling on him. He sounds like he is playing you...people do that bipolar or not...it is part of dating...if it were me I would move on...find someone who was more into a relationship if that is what you are looking for...hugs, Norma

He has admitted to me that there is something wrong with him yet I cant understand why he is taking his sweet time to get help...I dont think I can wait for him any longer, not taking any action....His mental instability and depression is affecting our relationship...Nowadays, I feel that our relationship has been based on his moods only and not on solid foundation -- love, understanding, open communication...

He calls and sends messages every now and then...I dont initiate communication but still replies to his messages, not in a sweet way though...To make the breakup effective, I need to cut on communication completely but I guess I am lacking the courage to erase him completely in my life...

It sounds to me like you already know what is the best course of action at this time.

This is my first relationship and I am fairly a mature and logical person so sometimes I keep wondering why this happened to me...Sometimes I'd like to kick myself for falling into his sweet acts but at the end of the day, I realized that I need to take responsibility for my actions...I acted based on the information I had at that time (when he hasnt revealed his true colors yet)...

I now realized what a big difference your family background has an effect on your character when you grow up...I am grateful that I was raised in a secure and loving environment such that the moment I felt insecure and uneasy about our relationship, I instantly knew that something was wrong...I was not blinded by love and the false sense of security a dysfunctional relationship has to offer...

Right now I am in the process of finally forgiving him for treating me badly in our relationship...Its a hard process but I know I am getting there...there are days when I feel ok but there are times too when I get really mad at him for what happened...Yesterday, I burned some of his pictures and stuff he gave me...Its so therapeutic...My next challenge is working with him professionally since we are part of the same org which means I get to see him every now and then...

Thanks guys for all the support and help...I wish everyone who is in an unsatisfying and abusive relationship, whether with a bipolar or not all the luck and wisdom to do the right thing...

He could be bipolar II or he could just be a jerk who doesn't walk his talk. You may never know, but if he was showing other symptoms of BP disorder, he may have some version of it.

The same thing just happened to me and I had no idea what was wrong until a friend of mine read one of my ex's letters and asked if he was bipolar. Then I went on the web to research this disease and discovered that my ex had almost all of the hypomanic symptoms. A lot of things make sense now, given this new information.

After extolling his love for me (over and over again because I was wary it was happening so fast) and making me look at houses for us to live in, he abruptly stopped talking to me completely saying he needs his "space". He went from being the nicest, sweetest, most loving guy in the world who said (and wrote) all the things I've ever wanted to hear, to being silent, moody and GONE. It's been six months now and I don't think I"ll ever get proper closure on this. I have to move on - I have no choice.

I've read on this web board and others, how people with emotional problems can just "tune out" with no warning. Many have said that I was lucky to see this propensity in my guy after only 2-1/2 months. Some people have had their significant others come home one day and say they're not in love anymore - after 6 months or 10 years of togetherness!!

Imagine how you would feel if you married this guy and he just left one day with no warning!!!

Maya Angelou says: "When people show you who they are, believe them - the first time". Consider yourself forewarned and lucky.