I am so sick of this

Remember, you are not your disease. You are not throwing tantrums and getting paranoid your diease is. If those urges were actually you, you would enjoy them.

It took a long long time for me, but I'm now a lead researcher in the office where I used to think they were all out to get me.

You can make it. You'll be okay.

J.D.

I do know where you are. I have done the same thing. I have gone down in that hole, too When, I get there, I get quiet, step back, call someone, vent, and get some options on an action plan. It's a manic episode, and it happens out of nowhere sometimes. We all have had them or we wouldn't be here, you are not alone.

You are not a failure, and there is hope, and you are important. Thanks for coming here and sharing, and venting. This disorder can be very difficult sometimes. I would suggest you find some help, though. A therapist, pdoc, or caseworker, something, so, you can get some solutions. I hope this helps, God bless, Gypsy