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Bipolar Community Bipolar Support Forums General & Support just an update on lovin a bi polar
 

just an update on lovin a bi polar


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04/03/2008 10:17
dragonfly2catch
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 Hi everyone its been awile since i posted a ? or comment for me..So my x had left as i wrote in my past post Easter weekend he came home all the while we have been in counseling.today he will see the dr and get put on meds.we are still having ups and downs and i still get very frusterated with him.but we are workin it out for now i know the meds are gonna take some time to get used to on his part so i know i will endure some more poopie..but for the most part its smoother than before he left.When i read all the post about supporting the bi polar partner one thing i am gonna say to those of you loving one is that you have to set boundries and you have to stop making excuses for them even when he did not make excuses, i did for him i was co dependant and its also enabling to them sometimes as partners we cripple them and keep them sick they are strong and smart and dont need our help when it comes to feeling bad for them. because they do that all on their own. we need to lift them up and know when to give them space to grow.we are a support but we are not the support that comes from meds,counseling and just love not love that is overbearing and controlling we have to controll ourselves because we do react to the episodes they have and sometimes our reactions are not good and not helpfull..And by all means no one should take abuse from a Bi Polar person but know the difference and i know its hard to figure that out sometimes but if you choose to live love and stay with a bi polar person then you need to learn not only about them but about yourself then you have to learn who they really are even if its not what you want them to be. .I speak from experience not just an oppinion may you all be blessed..:~dragonfly
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04/03/2008 10:47
norma
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 dragonfly2catch wrote:

When i read all the post about supporting the bi polar partner one thing i am gonna say to those of you loving one is that you have to set boundries and you have to stop making excuses for them even when he did not make excuses, i did for him i was co dependant and its also enabling to them sometimes as partners we cripple them and keep them sick

THE ABOVE IS A QUOTE FROM WHAT DRAGONFLY2CATCH. JUST POSTED

I thought it was so important that I wanted to comment on it...there comes a point when loving a bipolar person that our caring for them becomes enabling their behavior...that is not healthy...making excuses for someone who is sick is just keeping them sick, recognize the problems and deal with them..hugs to anyone with the wisdom to do that...and also, hugs to those who choose not to deal with the problems...or recognize enabling behaviors..

"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan



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04/03/2008 10:49
MarieIsHere
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 Agree 100% Norma, and SO SO proud of you Dragonfly. I am in the same boat. A light went off in my head last week and I realized me "helping" him is NOT helping him! Wow, did that ever catch me off guard! LOL!
http://www.mdjunction.com/dependent-personality

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04/03/2008 11:01
dragonfly2catch
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 someone told me long ago we can only love someone else as much as we love ourselves isnt that scary...
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04/03/2008 11:11
MarieIsHere
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 Yes, so true. And how can we help others if we don't take care of ourselves? If we don't take care of ourselves, we can't help anyone!
http://www.mdjunction.com/dependent-personality

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04/03/2008 15:54
Gypsy
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 Dragonfly2catch!!

I am so proud!!! I love it when someone wakes up, and gets it. I wish, I could give that to so many people, I see suffer. It took me so many years to learn that.

I am glad your man is getting help, too. Your life will get so much better.

I love good news. Woo hoo!!

God Bless,Gypsy
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