lost

2. My bf decides to tell me that he's prolly going back to jail. When we first met he was on probation. he was doing good, doing whatever he needed to do. then he got in trouble here & was on probation again. In the midst of doing well & not doing well he started using again. Then he got on his Suboxone program. Then a few weeks ago he started seeing a doctor for his bipolar and was put on lithium. he says its working but appparently before he got put on that he got into trouble again.

i feel so lost, hurt, angry. I feel like i've failed. This poor man has been through so much in his lifetime and he's only 27. you wouldnt believe the stories if i told you but I know them. He's so depressed and the thing i fear most is losing him. he has moved out and we only see each other on the weekends so it has given me time to seperate myself a little but it's not really where I want to be. It's hard to sit here and see or hear him cry because he is so scared. It breaks my heart completely. He says. I'm sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I know he didnt mean to do anything dileberately but when his addiction or his mind takes over he has a hard time fighting it. I just hope that if he does go to jail that they do treat him for the bipolar cause without doing so he may end up hurting himself there. I stand by him & I promised I wouldnt give up so easily on him.

Sorry for my ramblings just needed to get it out. It's been really hard & I try to act as if everything is ok.

Thanks for listening

I can relate to what you are going through. My fiance is ex felon, and so am I. We are also recovering addicts. I am also bipolar, and am on Lithium.

My boyfriend has gotten in trouble. Not for drugs, but, other stuff. I luckly haven't had to PV. We are both off probation, now. I hate jail. I haven't had to go to prison, though. My fiance spent 7 yrs in prison.

They do have meds in jail. I have a few friends who are parolees, and are bipolar, and were able to get their meds. You will be able to visit.

It's good he has started treatment for both his illnesses,and maybe he will be able to continue when he gets out.

I know you miss him. I know prison is scary. It will go by quick. Just keep writing eachother all the time. That will help him get through it.

I am sorry you are going through this. Hang in there. You can vent anytime. We are here for you.

He did not like my boyfriend, so he was always trying to keep us apart.

We stayed together, anyway. Now, I am off probation,and, I don't have to worry about it anymore. I hated going to court, too.

As long as , I behave, I don't ever have to go back.

Well at least he is trying. Alot of people on probation keep doing the same things, and going back to jail all the time. They don't even try.

Sorry for the loss of grandpa.

Post edited by: red1965, at: 04/03/2008 20:02

*Hugs* Thank Red