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Betrayed
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I have read some interesting story's from guys with bipolar girlfriends on this site. Many of which I can relate to but I gotta say so far, I got you all beat. I started going out with a woman when I was 30 and she was 40. We meet at work and I was the 1st to show interest. Had a huge crush on her. She was (is) very attractive and at the time, was separating from her husband of 8 years. She also has a son with this man. At 1st she was not interested and then, she seemed to warm up to me. Even wound up calling me for our 1st date. The first couple of weeks were great! Non-stop sex, very affectionate, I thought I found "the one". Then I started to get the first warning signs. 2 weeks in, I had a dentist appointment that was within walking distance from my house. I told her this. When I returned, she was parked outside my home shaking and telling me she was hurt by men before and that she was "sorry" about not trusting me. Then it pretty much went downhill from there. Now, besides from her being bipolar, (something she never told me. In fact, she never even said the word bipolar) she is a MASTER MANIPULATOR. Everything she did as a result from her illness, she would find a way to blame me for. We broke up a few times during our 2 years together. The first time was 11 months in and it lasted for 10 days. During those 10 days, she slept with a co-worker of ours. A man that was trying to get her into bed since the day she was hired. This was something I knew and I always asked her if she found this other man attractive and she would reply "yuck, God no". At first, she didn't tell me who it was, just told me she slept with someone else. I took her back. Then in Dec 06, my sister (who hates this woman because she made my life hell) came to visit me in NY from Texas. It was a disaster. The 2 of them did not work out and as a result, I asked my girlfriend to meet me somewhere for new years. That was so offensive to her that instead of meeting me, she slept with this co-worker of mine again. All in all, she went behind my back with 3 co-workers, tried to kill herself twice and blamed me with it all. The suicide. She came over 1 day and sat on the couch and began to cry. When I asked her what was the matter, she replied, "you're never going to marry me". I told her, that that was not true. We just had problems we have to work on first, that's all. With that, she got up, went into my bathroom and took 100 pills. 6 months later, I foolishly bought her an engagement ring. Over 5000 dollars. As soon as she got what she was willing to kill herself over, (getting engaged and moving in with me) she began to treat me like shit and said things like the classic bipolar battle cry, "I need my space". Within 2 months of our engagement, she moved out and is with someone else. There are SOOOO many details I have to leave out as this post is to long as it is. SO THERE, TOP THAT!!! It was hell. I tried so hard to make this woman happy but it cannot be done. Please feel free to reply and let me know what you guys think. Thanks for reading. |
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p8ntballgrl
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ok, first off I don't think we come here to try to tell the saddest story...lol but that is a pretty bad story. Maybe...not that i'm a doc or anything, it isn't bipolar maybe like you said she is just a MANIPULATOR. The insecurity yes, I have even done the thing where i would go check up on b/f, not because i didn't trust him, but because i was always paranoid, my mind would start out like ...is he really going to dentist or is he cheating. that whole cheating thing "I DON'T THINK IS BIPOLAR" unless you just need sex or something and you feel as though your partner doesn't love you. that's too much to get into but...my very first question here is ....is she bipolar? 2.does she take bp meds? 3.does she see a doctor a phychatrist not a regular doc? 4.do you truely believe she is bipolar or just have to have things her way then when she gets them she's not satisfied? i have done the thing about begging to move in and then once there not want to be there and just sabatoge the whole thing. that to me was more of I don't want to be by myself, insecurity, and so on. there are many, many bp's that don't ever cheat. there are normal people who do cheat. i've never said "i need space" the closest to that is not wanting to get out of bed for days. not go away and leave me alone per say but just not wanting to talk to anyone. first off if she is not bipolar and she doesn't see a p-doc (phychatrist) then I would say cut your loses here. if she IS bipolar then you need to go with her to see the p-doc tell him/her that you need to ask a few questions either with her in the room or not because if she is bp then this can be very life threatning for her. she sounds manic but i'm no doc and that's the worst stage of this disorder for us cause we can and will try to kill ourselves if not supervised. feel free to pm me or just ask any questions you like. oh and sorry about all the stuff that brought you here but welcome and feel free to talk ask any questions you want. we are all here to support each other bp or non bp Post edited by: p8ntballgrl, at: 03/29/2008 14:49 The voice inside my head doesn't like you either!
My journey to the grave will not be with an attractive well preserved body, I will skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand and wine in the other totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO WHAT A RIDE"
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures.
Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in you face to frown.
BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap that mother@#?!&! upside the head....ha ha
You have to love it.Cause you know we've all thought it. |
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stepper1122
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i feel your pain and glad you were able to handle all of it without getting abusive ,, pats on the back ...
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norma
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I think you got dumped on and you should be glad to be rid of her. I am sorry you went through it all. Being bipolar is no excuse to act like that....that is my opinion...and I am bipolar....if someone treats you like dirt then they should have to live up to the consequense. You are much better off without her. Again sorry this happened to you. My advice...forget her...or better yet remember and when someone starts acting like she did...break up with them before you waste time. There are many wonderful people out there...why waste your time with a loser....should change your name from betrayed....to wisernow....hugs, Norma Post edited by: norma, at: 03/29/2008 14:52 "In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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southern10
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Im sorry you are going through this tough time now...Sounds like you are better off by yourself and without her.... Bipolar or not is no excuse for her behavior...Do something for yourself..We are here..Your not alone......Big Hugs Southern Doing what you love is freedom....loving what you do is happiness. Dont apologize for being patriotic,support the troops-----Toby Keith |
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Betrayed
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Hey p8ntballgirl. I am no doctor but from what I've been through with this woman, she is the definition of bipolar. She has been in therapy for over 20 years. Been hospitalized many times over her life for suicide. Her good friends of many years have told me that I am not the first man she has done this with. I could not have ANY social life when I was with this girl. On the RARE occasions when I would want to hang out with the guys, I would ask her over the phone if it was OK with her to which she would reply, "yes, sure baby. Have fun". Then, literally 5 minutes later she would call back, crying histerically to the point where I could barley understand her asking why I don't love her or why I don't want to be with her instead. About 5 months into our relationship, she had someone she knew illegally hack into my cell phone records to see who I was talking to. She even called some of the #'s and My friends would answer. Talk about being embarased. I have plenty more for whoever would like to hear more proof that this woman is indeed bipolar. Not something I enjoy saying because despite all the suffering and lies and cheating, she is someone I still love. I don't want to sound insensitive to the bipolar people on this site. Please don't take offence. |
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red1965
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Betrayed, welcome to the forum. GET YOURSELF INTO COUNCILING!!! Stop being the victim of bipolar and start being victorious over the things that have happened. I am not trying to be insensative but, having seen the behavior as exibited in the pre-marital state, is this something you really want to deal with for the rest of your life (perfect marital state). If this is happening now what do you see the rest of your life with this person being like, can you handle it? Is this something you can continue dealing with in a marriage? If she is not willing to get proper medical care for herself there is no future in this realtionship for you! If she is, there may be hope. But it still is not going to be easy. RED
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redrose
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Betrayed, Reading this it sounds as if this woman has been using Bipolar as an excuse. Not all Bipolar people are of that nature. Sounds more like you are dealing with a very insecure woman. Maybe there is a underlying reason for this. Now, looking at the therapy issue, I am of the opinion that she isn't working with the therapist. I would think that after 20 years she would have modified her behavior in some way. From all that you have explained, I have to agree with the others and say that you are better off without her. Sorry that you have gone thru this and hope that you find a woman that will love and cherish you as you should be..... Redrose |
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Gypsy
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Hi Betrayed, Welcome to our group, I am glad you have found us. I am sorry you have gone through this. If this woman is bipolar, and doesn't cooperate with her treatment, she will just get sicker. It would just be more of a night mare if you continue to try to persue a relationship. I have bipolar, and have not cheated.n I have been very insecure, and dramatic, though. My boyfriend couldn't go anywhere, with out me tripping out. I wouldn't call him, or follow him, though. I would just let him have it when he got home...LOL Since, I got help, I have not felt that way. I even went so far as to think he and his friends were talking about me. They were probable really having alot of fun...go figure...lol Anyway, hang out keep posting, there is a lot of support here. God Bless,Gypsy |
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Betrayed
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Wow! Thank you to everyone who has responded to everything I have said here today. Your words are comforting, believe me. I guess I just feel cheated because I so badly wanted to give my ex everything she seemed to want in life. I always made it clear to her that our age difference (she 10 years older) was never a concern, and that I also tried to treat her son as if he were my own. I come from a set of divorced parents. I remember being 10 years old and my dad would come to pick me up for the weekend and sometimes he would bring his girlfriend with him and I didn't like it. I just wanted my dad. I would sometimes try to get my ex to spend a day with her son, just she and him without me. Even offered spending $ if she didn't have it. She would become histerical and accuse me of wanting to get rid of her. Then she would beg to spend the time with me and not her own son. I was just trying to do the right thing and it always blew up in my face. She went from "I can't live without you" to "we should not be together any more". She started dating another man from our workplace in Sept 07. This drove me off the deep end so much (because I became so codependent on this woman) that I quit my job. I could not stand the sight of the 2 of them walking together at work every day. The day before I quit I made one last effort to get back with her to which her response was, "I don't love you anymore. Move on". The next day I quit and she was at my door. We went to bed, made love and she told me that I was really the one she wanted to be with. That night she left and was back with the poor bastard who she just cheated on with me. It's just tough going through the "i love you" to the "we don't belong togethers". The worst part about her is that she is a manipulator. She will always manipulate every situation she is in out of her insecurities and need to keep control. Even manipulating her doctors and therapists to the point of getting them to just say what she wants to hear. She started to tell me towards the end of our relationship that her therapist thinks I'm abusive to her. That's because she would go in that room alone and bullshit the therapist. I could never convince her that her manipulating will leave her the loser in the end EVERY time. |
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