SSI and Bipolar

Michelle

I have been trying to work for years. I have had a lot of good jobs, but, as, I got sicker, I made a big mess. I am amazed how my mania caused me to destroy every job, I attemped to work at. I eventually got so frustrated, I was afraid to even apply anymore.

When, I was told, I was disabled, I was still in denial. I thought, I was doing so good. It has taken me a year, since, I have filed to be convinced, that, I wasn't doing good at all. I filed so, I could see if, I would get it, and that Bipolar was concidered a disability, but, was still doubting whether, I was truly disabled. I was still in denial of how bipolar really effected my life. I am amazed, that, I got this far...LOL. I was living a big drama fest for 12 yrs. I am so glad, I filed, when, I did.

Wow, I went to sleep and woke up to a lot of great information on here. I have been hospitalized before, but for my depressive episodes. I have only had the BPD dx for about a month and a half. However, it explains a lot! I have been out on short term disability for about the last three weeks. I would say there is a pretty obvious catalyst in my case in regard to my work stability, and clear history of job instability.

The last time I applied I was not being treated in any way. I was not on any meds, bc I couldn't afford them. Since I was homeless I didn't have an address to get free meds sent to me. It was a mess. I was a mess. However, this only confirms my belief that those who really really need help (like the homeless population, those in very volitile situations) are the ones who don't get it because the way the system is set up. You have to either be a ward of the state, or have someone there who can help you. I feel like the fact that I am looking at this from a more secure place (like I have a roof over my head and food in my belly) should help my ability to cooperate and give as much info as needed. Before, I was very emotionally unstable and couldn't talk to anyone about my situation without hysterically crying. I feel like my level of sedation makes me less emotional. I guess I am afraid that if I wasn't disabled in their eyes at that time, when I was in a way worse situation, how would they see me as disabled now?

Angela