Enough is Enough

I hate these med cycles that I have to go through. I told my pdoc yesterday that she is getting real real real close to my limit of pills. She said she understood how bipolar people sometimes feel like they are over medicated and will stop taking their meds. And I am almost at that point. Hubby said he would never let that happen but he doesn't understand. At one point in my treatment I was taking 10 different prescriptions and taking 30 pills a day. Enough is enough. I feel like a human guinea pig.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

Thank you for your words of support so quickly. I need to go take another da@# pill for the shaking in my hands now. This stuff sucks.

Take care and stay in touch

Erica

DC121 I understand about your husband. This,med cycling, has been going on for me for 10 years and I am only 28. I just saw my pdoc yesterday and I didn't know the side effects until I came home and her office was closed.I am going to call in a minute. And my next therapy appointment until the 24th. But I am not really sure about her, so I am going to look for another one soon.

I do understand how you feel. I get frustrated with all the pills, even though, I know I have to take them. I get frustrated with having to take pills just to feel normal.

I have tried not taking meds, though, and its more painful for me and everyone around me, than, when I am on them. I am on 4 different meds, and I already feel like a walking pharmacy, so, I can just imagine what you are feeling like.

I am really picky about what they give me and really sensitive about the side affects, and have meds that have the least side affects, I could get. I have 4 kids and have to beable to be able to keep up with my kids and house hold.

I have changed pdocs because, I didn't like their choices in meds and they didn't listen to me, very well. I asked them not to over medicate me. Now , I have a wonderful pdoc, and am pretty balanced. So, I know, it's possible.

But, It is frustrating in the meantime,while you are still cycling and don't know what's going to happen next. That's what, I want to communicate . The view from the inside of the bipolar head and trying to balance our moods, and trying to find the right meds. It is a hard process. The meds can make you dumb, fat, sick, slow, speedy, jumpy, anxious, and off balance or not work at all.The meds aren't perfect, and we are supposed to have therapists who are supposed to understand us, but, aren't always going to be there. This disorder is permanent and I get lonely, sometimes, because, my boyfriend doesn't understand, my moods, and neither does any one else except, another person with bipolar. So, they have these doctors who do not have bipolar medicating us.LOL So, hey, I understand how you feel.

My disorder reacts to my didorder.LOL I am just in my 5mos of the whole process so, I am just getting used to the whole thing.

Its nice to hear someone else vent. Thanks, I also know that you won't stop taking your meds, and neither will I ,and that you will find a better pdoc,just as I have. I love, my family, and we will continue, to get better, etc. The process is still rouph, sometimes, though.

God bless, Gypsy

I don't know how old your kids are. All I can pass along are my experiences. As I raised my three girls, I had the same thoughts. Would they be better off without me? Mine are grown women now and happy. They all love and accept me. I have asked them all the question and they all have the same response, they always felt loved. Also by being around me they learned the necessity for meds and the need to persevier. They learned to accept others without judging. They learned all people have limitations. Two are fullblown manic depressives but on the meds they live productive happy lives. My oldest says she learned how to manage the disease by watching my experiences. She knows when to ask for help and isn't afraid.

Hang in there. It does get better.