How long can a hypomanic episode last?

I left my husband (but we didn't have a good marriage), left my kids (which is one of my biggest regrets to this very day). I signed over the home WE both worked so hard for, I signed it all away to him. After that, I took off to live with I guy I had met previously and he lives in North Carolina (we first met on the internet). I was in North Carolina for about five months and when I crashed, I crashed HARD!! One night, I found my self standing on the ledge of a bridge with a three story drop and I was going to jump......I was going to end it all. I had nothing left to live for and I threw away the most important people in my life~~my children. It still hurts soul~deep when I think about walking away from them. God, if I could take it back, I would.

This is just a personal experience for comparision but I don't think there is any kind of time limit to a hypomania. Regardless of the length, I think there destruction no matter how long they last.

I am sorry that this has happened to you. You and your children don't deserve this. More then likely, you are right about the bi-polar. Scientists are finding more and more genetic ties to the disease and its running into generations. Personally, my father, brother and sister has/had it (I say had because two of the three are dead) and my mother is mentally ill as well.

Bi-Polar claims a lot of victims in its wake, don't let it "claim" you. Do your best to move forward with your life. He obviously doesn't want help (at least not at this point). You cannot be his "savior" (as much as those that love someone with bi-polar want to be). All you can do now is be the adult, the awesome parent that I think you are, unfortunately having to pick up the pieces he destructively left behind, and realize something dear, bi-polar is not particular to who it hurts, don't blame yourself and take it an hour or a day at a time. Unfortunately, you and your children are in a terrible and painful line of victims in this nasty ass disease. Its even worse because he won't go in for diagnosis and/or treatment. Because of this, he may very well have to "crash and burn" before he will recieve diagnosis/treatment.

The realism of this is it may take up to a year or more for this to happen. Ask yourself, are you willing to wait that long? Are you willing to put your life on hold and all that you could be doing on the back burner for him and this disease?

Personally, (and this coming from someone that did exactly what he is doing), I don't think you should put yourself through that. It sounds like you truly love him but you need to love yourself and your children more. "You can lead a horse to water but you certainly can't make him drink." In it's truest form, he isn't doing anything to help himself and if he truly has bi-polar (which it sure sounds like he does), at one time or another, this "fairy tale, running away, this world is my oyster" crap will come crashing down around him eventually and when it does, you may be the first person he comes to. Don't hold your breathe waiting for that though my dear.

Once again, I am truly sorry this has happened to you. Make sure your children know that "Dad" is real sick and what happened does not mean he doesn't love them. because of his illness, he isn't making good decisions right now. If there old enough that is.

I wish someone would of told that to me when I was a child when my father walked out on me. I didn't understand it and struggled for years with self-esteem, self-value, and abandonment issues ( and I do to this day). He was my hero, the most important and loving man in my life and he was in and out of my life for years and it was so hard. I live with the consequences to this day and have sever trusts issues with everyone in my life (except my children). The scars that bi-polar has left behind started long before I was diagnosed.

I hope this helps................Dana

I agree with what has been said. I want to re add that I think it's important to take care of you and your family and let him go.

If you don't have anything for you, you won't have anything to give anyone else. I have been in therapy sorting out this type of stuff.I am bipolar, and, I had a man do the exact same thing to me and my kids. I had to clean up after him, too. It's painful, and I could'nt understand it either, but, I had to learn to take care of me and put my kids first and not worry about him, anymore.

He isn't my priority, my kids are. He didn't make us a priority, so, why should I worry about what he's doing? Let go of him and let him learn his own lessons. Thare are also alot of website on the different symptoms of bipolar you can check out to find out more if you feel you need to get answers, but, really its about you moving on and getting on with having a happier life with out him.

I hope this helps. God bless, Gypsy

To be completely honest, I never stopped loving my children, ever. As far as my X goes, I loved him but I just didn't like him anymore (he use to hit me and verbally abuse me A LOT!!) During my mania, I thought that I was super-woman. I was gonna start a new life and and be happy happy happy!!! Everything was gonna be perfect because I said it was gonna be! I had myself convinced that my kids didn't need someone as f&^%ed up as me in there life and they were better off without me. I had myself truly believing all this crap. I was ten feet tall and bullet proof to everything and everyone. I even stopped eating so I could lose weight (which I did and I lost too much and became anorexic and my hair fell out from malnutrion(sp). I started drinking when I wasn't working my three jobs (I never slept). I got skinny and pretty again and the world was MINE!! OHHHHHHH what a joke that was!!!

I also had myself convinved that if I left my old life, I would be happier and better and I would never be sad and lonely again. WRONG!

As far as the guy I left my old life for, I will tell you. I loved him very much. To this day I do. But like my old life, I left him too because him and I were too messed up to be in any type of relationship (he has bi-polar and is an alcoholic as well). There will be a part of me that will always love him because he understood me more then anyone (besides my father)ever had. Did he replace what I walked away from??? Absolutely not..........not even close. But he holds a special place in my heart......for a lot of reasons that are hard to explain but we had a connection that I have not had with anyone else. Sad but true. I still talk to him once in awhile (well now he is heading to Iraq ) and I don't think him and I will ever talk again.

I am glad that your thinking about yourself and your children more then your X.

I am truly sorry this has happened to you.

I am with my children now......I was given a second chance. My X and I are trying to work things out and fix what went so wrong between us. Its not easy and there are major set backs once in awhile. He has anger issues and I have emotional ones and that makes for a bad combo sometimes. I have made a promise to my children that I will NEVER do that again. And I am keeping to that promise. I will do what ever it takes to get and stay better. If not for myself, FOR THEM!! They are MOST important in this life and they keep me grounded and hanging on when things get tough.

Stay strong...........he'll regret it one day. I sure did and still do........Dana

You are very welcome in anyway that I may have helped you. If my experiences can help you in any way, I will be more then happy to share more of it with you at any time.

I just hope you know that there is nothing you did wrong and there is nothing you could of done to stop him because he was unwilling to help himself. You gave him your support and unfortunately, he didn't want it. It doesn't sound like he is excepting anyones help. there will come a day where it will crash down on him unfortunately. He is going to have to learn for himself. I did.

You sound like such a strong woman......any woman that can make it out of a bad bi-polar relationship with her head still intact has got it going on LOL!! BELIEVE ME!!!

Stay in touch and feel free to vent to me anytime! Dana

**First, I will address what you have asked. Yes, I am 33 years old (will be 34 in March). I look like I am well into my 40's. i guess from all my health problems and all the stress over the years.

I would definately have to say that my bi-polar was fully recognized when my Daddy was dying. I couldn't hold it any longer inside myself. I had become a VERY good actor up till this point. I hid it sooooo well. I only expressed my misery, moody crap in my writing (which I kept hidden good as well). If anyone would of read it, they would of realized how messed up I truly was at the time. When he finally passed away, a part of me split of sorts. A part of me died that to this day, I haven't gotten back. That part of myself died with him because I felt he was the only man that ever understood me and loved me for who I was/am. I felt as though I was slipping off the edge of a cliff.

My life was never the same after that. The one leg I had left to stand on (which was shaky off the bat), got loped off when my sister committed suicide in November of 2003. My sever mania started right around that time and went into over~drive.

They are a lot of reasons mania's start. Most of time its medication or lack there of. My therapist describes it to me like this (the body will build an immunity to meds after time~~ "somtimes").

Other times, its a traumatic event. Such as too much stress, a death, and/or loss or simply too much pressure and expectation in one's life.

There was/is a sever pattern in my life however (explained from the therapist in this way.....)~~

All the heartbreak~~~ an abusive mother, being raped, abandonment, foster homes, neglect, getting pregnant young, getting married young, a damaged marriage, lack of support from family and husband, health problems (cancer, asthma, diabetes, emotional problems and self~medicating), nightmares, the loss of my Dad, brother and then my sister, among a lot of things in between that I didn't mention. But this "pattern" of disappointment, traumatic events, ect, "pushed & pushed" me further & further into apparent symptoms of bi-polar. The more trauma over time, the less I could hide it. I think the only reason that it was masked as long as it was is because I smoked A LOT of marijuana and drank as much as I could. Never during the work week (because I took care of my kids and my nephews during the week) but ALWAYS on the weekend, I would make up for it by being stoned out all the time.

What I can tell you is my mania was triggered by a combo of events and I was powerless to stop my mania. I slipped into it so damn fast I didn't know what hit me. It like I woke up one day a completely different person. Literally!!!

I have sat back and literally analyzed everything about my disease and the aftermath of mania "path of destruction". I written pages and pages of what I remember since all this technically "started". Though its been there for years ( thinking back it was apparent as early as 13 years old), I had "learned" to duck, cover, conseal, hide, lie, avoid, pretend, and "self-medicate.

However, I don't believe that everyone has to go through trauma and stuff to hit a mania. And these mania's are NOT personal in nature. They happen without warning to the un-educated and to those "living" in the world of the manic/mania.

I know there are probably a few that are sick of hearing from me. I tell how I feel/what I see from past and/or present behavior to those that perhaps have better insight to this disease and it helps.

I regret every single thing I did during my mania's and I will till the day I die. That is why now I take my medications (most of time) without question!! Those times I don't take it is because I get depressed and start to "give up" and I will stop taking it for three or four days. No, not good I know. My kids, my nurse, social worker, therapist and pdoc all keep close track and I am never off of them for long.

clc79092~~I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I admire your strength and love for her. If you can hold on, make it through and stay strong, you'll be able to make it through anything that life throws at you. One thing though~~have you thought about putting the son in therapy so he can get an understanding of what is happening and also mend some of his abandonment issues, lack of trust, and self-value issues he may be facing at this time. I had theses issues when my Dad left me for the same reasons (being that was severally bi-polar among other things)and i still haven't truly "recovered" from it. These issues will care over into other future relationships if he doesn't get the help now. Trust me!!!!!

**Stay strong the both of you................blessed Be! Dana