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02/14/2010 09:44 AM

husband cheated on me-don't know how i feel(page 2)

greygirl822
greygirl822  
Posts: 35
Member

I saw when the post originally was made,,, who knows what has happened since then. Hope all is well with her.
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10/04/2010 06:40 PM
bipolarmomma
bipolarmomma  
Posts: 440
Member

hi everyone.sorry its taking me so long to respond to all of you. i thank you all for you support. well after all is said and done it turned out he did cheat. multiple times and ofcourse lied on me at every opportunity to these women. turned out one had been to my home, and was told that the children's toys she saw belonged to someone else..not to OUR kids. also needless to say him and i are through. after the intial split the lies never stopped. he would shirk his responsibilities towards his kids and still is. he ended up leaving town on my son's 4th birthday. the last time my kids saw him was his back as he walked away from my son's birthday party..he didnt even say goodbye or tell them he was moving. even continued to lie that he was coming back for months..oops sorry this all happened back in may of this year.

the shock of the situation did eventually wear off and i was able to deal with it and move on as best as i could. I have started dating again, though i am worried that my bp will push him away eventually as well. unfortunately the situations i went through in my past with my ex has clouded my judgement on my present relationships. i try to let it affect us to much now but there are times when i just cant help it. when you've had your trust trampled on its hard to trust again. the difference this time is not only am i open about what im going through and how my bipolar is affecting me but my current boyfriend is just as expressive with me. hopefully that will help us not end up like my last relationship. i just hope my trepidations dont end up hurting my current relationship.

thanks to you all again...


10/04/2010 06:51 PM
mom2meg
mom2meg  
Posts: 464
Member

oh wow you have been through a lot... Know that there are many people here to support you and listen to you in your time of need....

10/04/2010 08:55 PM
Use2be

Want a guy's take on this?

First off, I've never cheated on a girlfriend or my ex....maybe because when I love someone I have no desire for anyone else. Maybe I'm in a minority but my desire for being close emotionally outweighs the physical.

I think of our relationship as being kind of like a bubble surrounding us and to stray with another would break that bubble and something would be lost.

IMO....since you are married, he should have been open about those other women and explained why he was in contact with them......kind of like, 'how did your day go honey?'.....keeping them a secret isn't good. What's the old saying.....'you're as sick as your secrets.'


10/04/2010 09:02 PM
bipolarmomma
bipolarmomma  
Posts: 440
Member

thanks for the guy's take on this.his explanation was he needed an outlet. someone that he could talk to about his feelings. but i feel that if you had to lie to them about every aspect of your life then just what feelings were you expressing??! yes i agree about the bubble. he popped that bubble very well. he didnt explain about the women until he was caught and even then tried to deny til i showed proof that i knew everything that had went one. and come to find out he was cheating as i was in the hospital giving birth to our daughter...not to mention onthe verge of a stroke myself and our daughter was being born prematurely. its nice to know that there are guys out there besides the one that i have found now that dont believe that cheating is the way to solve a relationships problems.

now onto the problem of trying to keep these past problems from being new problems in my current relationship.


10/04/2010 09:43 PM
Use2be

You deserve to be treated a whole lot better than your ex treated you. I don't know the guy but I'm guessin' he's empty inside with perhaps a cruel streak to boot.

That's good that you're dating again. My trust was shattered by my ex too. I came home one day from the gym and found a note that she had left me. She had never even said she was unhappy. She's also bipolar with other features along with borderline so I hoped she would return if and when her psychotic episode finished. I knew she was hearing voices that morning.

She went from adoration to devaluation without warning. People said I was better off without her but that didn't ease the pain. But I hope you don't mind me saying, You're Better Off Without Him.

It sounds like good riddance would be apropos. You also deserve a hug...(((((( )))))


10/05/2010 07:05 AM
brneyegirl

I heard somthing once that truely hit home. "people who have nothing to hide hide nothing". We all like our privacy, but if my hubby walked in and asked me about somethng. I would tell him. I did have an online affair a while back, and that was when I was hiding and keeping secrets.

Take care. Like use2be I'd say you are better off without him.


10/05/2010 07:25 AM
proudmami01
proudmami01  
Posts: 590
Member

I would say men are assholes, but the fact is, women can be too. I'm sorry he ended up being that way and hurting you so bad. And leaving like that....without even saying bye to his children. Wow. I mean, not saying bye to you is one thing, but just walking away from his own children??? It sounds like he has some issues of his own to sort out.

It sounds like your current relationship is much healthier. Its good that you are both open with each other about everything. I hope it works out. You deserve to be happy Smile

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