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06/30/2009 12:16 PM

Anyone else stuggle w/friendships?

Christielove
ChristielovePosts: 10
Member

I have made mind to believe that it is what it is. I will never be that friend people run to or want around. I'm not the life of the party. I am an outsider. May I should learn to like the outside. Less drama. Sometimes I just want to belong. Does anyone else loose friends like leaves on a tree? It just occured to be, while watching the dog whisper. Balanced dogs attack unstable dogs. Can people since that somethings not right with me?

Post edited by: Christielove, at: 06/30/2009 12:18 PM

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06/30/2009 12:23 PM
Meagan22
Meagan22  
Posts: 274
Member

You know what? I really don't have any friends at all. In elementary/middle school I had several, but was teased alot because of my weight. High school I slimmed down, but liked hanging around the guys more than the girls (less drama). I have always really preferred being a loner because I hate the responsibility of a friendship. I have one friend we talk ocassionally, but don't go out or anything. I may have a good conversation with someone, but when it comes to forming a friendship, I shy away. I much prefer being by myself...hermit. This is often difficult because my husband is very outgoing and people just love him and are drawn to him. I hate social gatherings for BBQ's with his friends and their families. I want to hide.

06/30/2009 12:46 PM
amber05
amber05  
Posts: 6
Member

I have always had difficulty with friendships...Sometimes I would worry that I would say the wrong things, or just scared in general (maybe of getting hurt). Now I don't have alot of friends.. I have people from school who text me and say hey once in awhile...Sometimes I just don't know what to say and back off. I wish I could get out of that. I want to be able to meet a new person and just say "hey, how are you, my name is amber..."

06/30/2009 01:16 PM
gracie24
Posts: 86
Member

I have lots of "acquaintances" but not many true friends. That happens a lot in college, though, I believe because everything is centered around drinking. People fool around without making strong connections with others. School of any kind is a difficult environment. Now that I've been diagnosed, I feel myself withdrawing even more from friends because I'm trying to stop drinking and I don't want anyone to know about my BP. It's hard to be around friends sometimes, too, because I am jealous of their happiness and carefree attitudes about life.

But you know what I've just realized? Here, we are talking about important issues, extremely personal feelings, thoughts, and emotions, which makes us "friends" in a way that is very comforting to me.

Keep your chin up!


06/30/2009 01:37 PM
YorkieLove
YorkieLove  
Posts: 7033
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I've never sustained any friendships either. I think that I've always been too busy with other things. I think that I'm not willing to put the effort into a friendship that it requires. When it comes down to it, I did not have the desire or consistency needed to make close friends.

I think that my illness has always impacted my ability to sustain friendships, because of the crippling depression, then the extreme energy where I couldn't sit still. Basically, I had problems that I was trying to deal with that kept me isolated from people. In retrospect, my life has been sort of like a rollercoaster ride.

I have one or two friends now. We just meet for coffee, mostly.

I really prefer to have a lot of social acqaintances and very few close friends. I just feel more comfortable around people that I don't know well. Except my husband.

I love the people here. My very best friends are here. I don't have to hide anything here and people really understand. No one here is fake and everyone is supportive.


06/30/2009 01:44 PM
Dit
Dit  
Posts: 13718
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

I don't have close friendships right now. I don't feel like going out and socializing these days. I did call a friend the other night, here and I used to be very close but have kind of lost touch. We agreed to go out for coffee & dessert real soon, i'm anxious for that. I used to be a real "social butterfly" but not any more. I just don't feel like it and don't want to extend myself to anyone else cause I only have enough energy for my kids and hubby, even that I have trouble with.

I guess isolating is part of having bipolar.


06/30/2009 02:37 PM
DClassen
DClassenPosts: 34
Member

Good to see I am not the only one having trouble with this. I used to go out and hang out with friends all the time, but nowadays it seems like I have outgrown them. I tend to not want to make friends at all, and have a very hard time getting to do things with the few friends I do have. They don't seem to be able to comprehend the notion of social anxiety.

06/30/2009 03:54 PM
mechjockusa
mechjockusa  
Posts: 2775
Senior Member

I have one really good close friend, If I am moody or get really manic he just tells me to shut up and I usually do. I do not make friendships very well so shy away. I guess making friends has to many responsibilities tied into it. I will keep my one good friend and will keep the folks I meet here but that is good enough for me

06/30/2009 04:41 PM
zeldabelle

I often have a hard time putting in the energy into having friends. I have a few friends I could turn to in a time of need, though I really don't hang out with much of anyone anymore. I mainly spend time with my boyfriend. I used to go through times when I was manic and would want to hang out with everyone, but I don't get that way so much anymore. I really don't have anyone I talk to on a regular basis. I go through periods where I just "hibernate". I've gone through so many sets of friends in my life. Lately, this forum is what is keeping me sane.

06/30/2009 09:30 PM
BigJ

I'm anti-social. Best with people when 1 on 1. Not too good at a group level. Unless drinking, then I can talk abit more and relate to people. Sober... Eh. Poor social skills.
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