i'm not doing so well and i want to reach out

i want someone to be here for me. i want someone to take care of me and tell me everything is going to be okay. and i want to know that i am worth loving and being cared for. . . .my ex left me for another woman and i can't help but feel like she is better than me. and i was and am the reason that no one loves me or knows me. i don't let anyone in. . . i let one person in and he destroyed me. . . and never again. . . i don't know what anyone can even say to me. i guess i just want to vent and let it out. . . so maybe i don't know. . . someone can start to know me - even if it is in cyber space and not in the "real world".

thank you for letting me vent.

Give your self time to grieve, it's the death of a way of life for you. That is hard & it's life altering. Cry. cuss, whatever it takes. Keep busy if you can... I was working then so I buried myself in it. I wish you the best of luck. PM me if you ever want to talk or cuss or cry with someone.

Love

Gloria

This may be cyber-reality but it's essential as a 'buddy zone', a place where everyone nderstands what you are going through.

It's all to easy for us to hate ourselves for having BP, and how it affects things like relationships. Its no peach dream for anyone who is in a relationship with a BP sufferer - my partner suffers all the time!! But when they decide to go and leave you to it (esp when it's for someone else) don't EVER think it;s because you are a lesser person or just not good enough for love. BP is an extraordinary illness that takes a very special type of person to be a partner to it - YOU WILL FIND HIM, or he will find you, and love you because you are what you are - special, vunerable and intense. You really need a pick up, a way to inject some sensory pleasure into your life. Have you got any pets - a cat is great for relaxing and giving love (for food usually)! Animals are really wonderfully giving, and for me, always fill that gap that can occur when you can't quite find that person to make you feel better. I have a cat rescued from a shelter. She had been mistreated as a kitten and everyday she shows me how grateful she is I found her. Being needed is often a great tonic.

Go get your hair done tomorrow and buy yourself an outrageously colourful scarf, prance about in a park and enjoy the freedom you have right now. xx

p.s. i got a fish. . .does that count?

Also, call your doctor and tell doctor you are feeling very sad...and be honest...

And, chat with us on line tonight if you want to, I will be looking for you....you can stay and chat now if you want...

Norma