BAD Weekend

I have gotten WAY better over the years about the neediness. BIG accomplishment for me!!I used to think when he wanted to do something without me, he didn't like me anymore, or I did something wrong, or he didn't want to be with me anymore. All this parent talk, for the people that followed my post. I believe it stems from that.

Weds- Him, his brother and a friend- 4 wheeler riding. Quitting work before 3pm. Meeting me at daughters ball practice. We were going to go walking and bbq. He didn't end up getting out of work until after 4, ended up hurting his foot. Couldn't go walking. He was at a company he had to drop parts of at 6pm, we bbq'd. I was pissed off because he hurt himself. I had NO sympathy?WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?????

Now, I don't care that he does things with his friends and his brother on his own. But when he says certain times things are going to happen and whatever, Then that is where I expect. I get things in my head like for example. Saturday he said he was working until 3pm IF IF they made it that long. And after work him, his brothers and a bunch of buddies were going 4 wheeler riding AGAIN. I called at 5 and they hadn't even left. So I said a not so nice word and hung up on him. Took the kids out to eat because I wasn't sitting around waiting on him. I just thought he would get done early and we would have family time?

Sunday - More frigging 4 wheelers. This time its a family thing. We go about 15 minutes out of town. Went with friends. We get there, get crap unloaded. Realize we dont have the key to daughters 4 wheeler. There is all kinds of stuff for her to ride but she wants HERS. Now, mind you she has Bipolar so this throws her into a raging uncontrollable fit. I didn't want to go in the first place. I was still pissed from Saturday and Weds letting things build. So I have husband griping at daughter because she wont quit crying, son yelling at daughter because she wont quit crying. I screamed at the top of my lungs and said something that I never should have said to my son and would NEVER EVER say. I will never forgive myself. And I made sure that he new I was sorry and he knew I would never talk to him like that. We are ok now but. I took off walking for home, the 2 kids were screaming. Glen was pissed off. He loaded everything back up and we went home.

I'm so sick and tired of I work my ass off so I should get to ride 4 wheelers when I want, and every time I ask him if he is working saturday or not, he throws the disney world trip up in my face. I told him to cancel it. I'm so tired of trying to fight for him. It lasts for a few months and it goes right back to this. His phone rings off the hook, I can't even say a whole sentence without his phone ringing?I feel like throwing it in a mud puddle or just smashing it with a hammer into a million little bits and pieces. And when he is home he works hard he sits on the couch and then he is sleeping or he is doing paper work on the computer. Or if we talk, we talk about his brother?????

I talked to him yesterday about everything. We were kinda ok, but I kept reverting back so I was still kinda touchy.We went to dinner. He didn't tell me he left his phone at home until after we had gotten in the car. I did notice it didnt ring or BUZZZ. He told me he would start leaving his phone at home when we went out & he would start turning his ringer off at a certain time. When we got home after an hour he had 8 missed calls?8 times that would have interuppted our dinner??

Ok, so, I still feel like even tho I talked to him I'm not 100% ok. I just feel like I am stuck in the middle of no where & I don't feel important to him anymore?Everytime he says he will change, I dont really think he can.

Amber

Have you thought of counseling with your husband? I have been going since January with mine and it has opened up doors and explained to him about my disease. Now he can more clearly see when I am getting moody and has a name to put to it.

We may need the counseling. He makes promises that don't last. I no that he is overloaded with stress, I truely no that.

I just don't feel that it's fair to be put on the back burner. I no that he has to work to provide, but I no that he really doesn't have to work as much as he does. When I want him I don't feel that it's fair that he has things to throw up in my face so that he gets to do what he wants when he wants?

I just find us growing further & further apart. I don't feel involved in his life & I really don't know what to do about it?

I understand what you are going through. My boyfriend and I have been through this , and he finally got it after having to talk to him about it at least 20 times.My bopyfriend used to spend all of his time with his brother, and sister, or at work or he was on a gambling binge. He finallly stopped all of this, and now makes us a priority. We were finally able to come half way with eachother. I think, when, i have these normal relationship issues, my bipolar makes it more intense.I am not able to let go of things as easy as other people.

I have also made mistakes with my kids.

Hang in there. I am in therapy, and it has helped so much.

I told him with everything he has going, I just don't feel that he needs me anymore. I told him, I didn't care that he did things on his own. I know that he deserves it. He needs that time on his own. He doesn't need me & the kids shoved up his nose all the time. But, him needing his time on his own is becoming more and more.

And then he tells me he wants me to spend more time with him at work. He says that it seems that I always have something better to do. Well, I will tell ya. I would probably be on disability if I didn't have him. I have had 30 jobs or more & they just never work out. I just go plain bezerk. I can't handle things at home, i feel like I'm dying inside, I am a monster, I am so mean & hateful. He is a machinist & he likes his work. I am a girlie girl. Its greasy & stinky. And well, maybe I should get over it because it's what brings the money home. And maybe I am just sounding like a spoiled brat AGAIN. Why do I have to work in his profession?I am on medication and I am trying to get better. I love being with kids & working in childcare. He wants me up there and interested in what he is doing but?Why can't I have my own thing?

Carmen, I am going to call the family Dr. today. Glen wanted to wait until we found a child psychiatrist. Our therapist has been looking with no luck. If/when she does get a call back she said its about 6 month wait?Katie has been getting worse. It's been her wanting to do things she knows she ABSOLUTELY "CANNNOT" do. So its almost like she is picking a fight with me?I tell her no a million times & then the last time she says 'so, you aren't going to let me'? I thought which NO didn't you get?It is awful. And then I get an attitude because it's one thing after another. And then she says 'EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSE IS MEAN TO ME'. SO its that 'its everyone else, its not me' thing you no???

Ok, I think I am done rambling..Thanks to everyone that listened

Amber

You are not a maniac. I feel the same way, sometimes. I don't want to work with my boyfriend. He is a painter, and is very helpful with bringing the money in. I would rather have my own thing to do. Bringing me to work with him to spend more time with him, does not replace quality time. My dad used to do that. he woulf bring us to work with him to spend time with us.

I have a child with a mental illness, too. It can be vey stressful.

After some serious dug a wars with my boyfriend he finally balances out his time. he makes us a priority, now. he now participates in the care of our kids. We spend time with eachother.

Sure we get lost in the craziness of our life. But, we eventually feel it, and get back to what's really important.

It really helps me to find a way to get time for me. To have things that make me happy. Separate from the kids, and him. It is also okay to want to be important to your husband, to want attention. You don't have to feel bad for asking for it, and not wanting to go to work with him to get it. Just because, we are bipolar doesn't mean, we don't have valid needs, and wants. I think the bipolar just makes all this stuff more overwhelming. Parenting is stressful, relationships can be stressful, life can be hard. I just needed to find ways to take care of me in the midst of it all.

my husband seems to want to spend all his free time with his friend and his wife then spend with me. his friend has 2 bratty a** kids that i can't stand. his wife is bipolar like me, so we constantly clash. so, i just stay away. it is soo hard when plans get trashed and ruined, specially if our men forget that they already made plans with us. it is so agervating, just try to hang in there and hey, sometimes, it may be easier if you make plans expecting his to be without you. that way, it does look like you aren't just waiting around for him. i have done that from time to time and it really puts my hubby in check.

also, it may be benificial if you make extra keys for the 4-wheelers and you hold on to them. so that way, you can go whenever you want. or sit down with him and you two make plans on a certain day that he can have the 4-wheeler and the next weekend (for example) you get it. kinda like a custody arangement that way everyone gets a turn. good luck to ya.