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03/16/2008 10:42 PM

should i tell or should i not...????

p8ntballgrl
p8ntballgrl  
Posts: 524
Member

ok here's the deal. I know that if i'm feeling suicidal I should tell my docs and get help, check myself in or whatever but I feel i'm more complicated than that....ha ha (aren't we all)

I don't think of suicidal thoughts per say but I do think of self destructive acts, like cutting myself, puching brick or glass walls that never break or I think of burning myself (guess that's another reason to quit smoking...lol. I do drive very erratically when i'm upset or just hanging on by that last frayed piece of rope..lol

So are these the same as suicidal thoughts? Should that be something I should tell just to the therapist or just to the pdoc or both.

oh and since i have pretty good insurance....bcbs of ga they are only allowing me ten visits a year with the therapist but i can pay my co-pay all day long with the pdoc....that's kinda messed up in my book but hey it's thier rules.

just looking for some imput from all you wise men and women out there.

hey don't forget to wear your green tomorrow or uh oh I just looked at the clock and it's 15 till 2 ok don't forget to wear your green today.

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03/16/2008 11:10 PM
petermason2000
Peart2112  
Posts: 1044
Senior Member

p8nt, you need to have an open and honest relationship with our doctors, or they can't really help you.

03/17/2008 03:55 AM
carmen33
carmen33  
Posts: 8702
VIP Member

Hellooooo, P8nt, what on God's green earth would make you even think that you should not tell your doctor and therapist about this? if I was having those feelings would you not want me to tell? Insurance really sucks sometimes but yours at least allows for visits every 5 to 6 weeks, and there might be a way to get more if the need can be proved, your therapist can look into this for you.

Each and everyone of those feelings is suicidal, whether or not the "word" suicide ever enters your brain, be honest with your doctor, and your therapist, you can not expect to get better if you don't tell them the truth, I have this fight with my Mother all the time, she will tell the doctor she is just wonderful, and then bitch on the way home about how he doesn't treat her..

Get your fanny into the doctors, and don't mess with this.


03/17/2008 04:25 AM
JR1
 
Posts: 974
Senior Member

Dear p8ntballgrl,

You know, I'm a recovering alcoholic, among other things.

Alcohol and drugs both have been so much a part of my past life, so much a daily habit, that after five years in recovery I still think often about alcohol and drugs. It seems natural that something which has been so much a part of my thoughts would still come back to me like that. ...but thinking about it doesn't mean I plan to get drunk or high!

Suicide plans or thoughts were also a habitual part of my past life, and, again, it seems natural that those thoughts would also come to my mind, even now, doesn't it? So, from time to time, I imagine my suicide. Thinking about it doesn't mean I plan to do it!

I think I know what really troubles you, or at least it troubles me.

I am sometimes afraid to talk openly with my pdoc and therp about suicide, because they have a moral and professional obligation to intervene if I am a danger to myself. I always wonder, "If I talk about suicide, even though I don't really plan to do it, will they put me in the psych ward again?"

Some of them would, wouldn't they?

It took me a long time in therapy, perhaps two years, to talk about suicide to my therapist; and it took a measure of reassurance on my part to convince her that I just "wanted to talk"--not DO!

I explained to her that thoughts of suicide had been habitual for me in the past, and that once in awhile, out of nowhere, the thought pops into my head--NOT because I plan to or WANT to die, but because it has always been so much a part of my thinking. I told her I want to understand "why."

Since I was calm, and since she had come to know quite a lot about me, she allowed the conversation without alarm or fear.

That mutual trust "broke the ice" and paved the way for other touchy or sensitive conversations.

I know and trust my doc, counselor, and therapist, and I no longer hesitate to be totally honest with them. I'm glad that I can feel that way. If I didn't feel that way I'd go to another doc, another therp, or another counsellor.

That's just the way it works with me.

Regards,

Jim

Post edited by: JR1, at: 03/17/2008 06:26


03/17/2008 10:38 AM
Gypsy
Gypsy  
Posts: 1646
Senior Member

Hi p8nt,

When, I am seeing that, I am having destructive thoughts, I know, I am heading for mixed mania. I start with the low self esteem stuff, and move on to more intense stuff. If I encourage the destructive behavior, I will end up in the hole of doom. It's pretty painful. I have also been dealing with the temptation of dying my hair. I end up wanting to hold up.

I would talk to you pdoc about this. It looks like you are in depression. If< i can't get to the pdoc, I find things to do to distract myself. I find things that are healing.


03/17/2008 04:08 PM
red1965
red1965  
Posts: 5627
VIP Member

P8nt, you need to tell the doc and therapist everything so they can help you get through all of the issues present. If they don't know they can't treat it.

RED

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