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Any bipolars parenting a bipolar child?



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03/16/2008 07:41
shay
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Hello all, I am a thirty year old mom of three with bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed at the age of 12 and I believe my 8 year old son is also bipolar, although the results from his neurilogical testing are not in yet. I just recognize the behaviors and this illness is rampant in my family to extreme levels. My aunt was committed involuntarily several times, my brother committed suicide, and my uncle committed a murder-suicide. I could go on and on, too. As for me, I won't go into all the details but my life has been a twisted, glorious mess of suffering at my own hands. I'm finally well, now after all these years and then I notice the behavior in my son. I'm in tears now, I feel defeated, I just can't win. Furthermore I don't know if I should have my son hospitalized due to his raging tantrums during which he bangs his head and threatens suicide. I'm struggle so much myself that I don't how I can help my son. I"m overwhelmed!!!

-Shay


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03/16/2008 07:52
norma
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Dear Shay, You have a lot to deal with...I have a son who was diagnosed at 13 yrs...he is a gentle soul and has pretty much always been compliant with meds and help...there are many in my family who I would say are bp but they never went to get help...I was hospitalized when I was in my 20's and have had my ups and downs....

This site has so many people...that are willing to share and to offer support...it has been a great source for me.

"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan


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03/16/2008 08:36
carmen33
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Hi, Shay, welcome to the group, Norma is right, you do have a lot to deal with, it's hard enough to deal with our own bipolar, and then to have a child with it, is devastating. Do you feel that your son is a danger to himself? if so you will want to go ahead and get him the help that he needs, even if it means a trip to the hospital.. suicide is not something to be taken lightly as I am sure that you know..

Please post and let us know how you are doing, and how your son is getting along.



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03/16/2008 09:10
shay
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My son has calmed down now, but is very negative at the moment. I'm just trying to hold myself together right now but I really just feel like crawling into bed and crying myself to sleep. It's such a struggle for me to deal with feelings because if I'm down I wonder if I'm slipping into another depression, or if I'm happy I wonder if I'm just getting manic. When I have some normalcy I wonder how long I can keep it going...sigh. I am also afraid of medicating my son even though he has expressed to me that he wants help to stop having intrusive thoughts and sadness. I just don't want him to be overmedicated or have to try several different meds.

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03/16/2008 09:26
norma
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Dear Shay, Although it might take a little tweaking on meds...you might want to not rule them out. Charting has been a big help...there are many charts that are available on line....and therapy...teaching him coping skills....that has helped my son very much...he was in therapy at 13 yrs...
"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan


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03/16/2008 12:37
Gypsy
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Hi Shay,

Welcome, I am glad you found us. I have a son with ADHD, and am seeing bipolar symptoms in him, just lately. I get very frustrated, and worried, too. 4 yrs ago, I finally got him on meds. I tried to help him with other ways, but, he finally got too bad. He got so miserable and depressed, and was really struggling. I had to realize, that he was suffering from not being treated. I also blamed myself, and was afraid to medicate him. When, I finally got him on meds it was such a relief. He was able to get into gate. He is 10 yrs old, now, and having other problems. We have to get his meds adjusted, again.

Therapy, meds and counseling really helps. I had let go of the pride, and control, and protectiveness, and the self blame, for not being able to help him myself. Like with my illness, my parents did everything they could for me, but, I needed professional help. It's also nice not to have deal with this alone. The other thing that has helped me is, that when, i was diagnosed, and put on meds, I was able to relate to my son, and was able to help him better.

God Bless,Gypsy
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