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Bipolar Community Bipolar Support Forums General & Support Trying to find forgiveness to survive
 

Trying to find forgiveness to survive


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03/15/2008 12:36
red1965
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 2Butterflys, don't just ignore him, that is sometimes percieved as a challange. Better to just tell him that until he gets the proper medical attention and is stable you cannot and will not allow him back into your lives (if there is the possibility of it happening). Or just flat tell him that there is no place for him in your lives and he is not to contact you again (if there is no way)! Either way tell him not to contact any of your family again.

You need to set the boundary with him either way.

Remember, we can give you all the advise and experiences we have but at the end of the day it is up to you to make your decision.

God Bless

RED
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03/15/2008 12:42
southern10
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 He has to realize that having bipolar is just like having diabetes,heart disease, cancer....Its a mental illness of the brain,,Without proper treatment and right medications he will never get well...But him being mean to you is not acceptable...And let him know that.....I know its easier said than done.....The choice is yours....Big Hugs Southern10

Post edited by: southern10, at: 03/15/2008 14:43


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03/15/2008 12:43
norma
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 Shame he is going to lose that insurance you pay for....maybe he can pay for it himself...you sound so sweet and it is sad and heartbreaking for you to go through this...like Red said when it all comes down to it, it is up to you to make the decision what is best for you and your little girl..
"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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03/15/2008 12:47
2butterflys
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 I have told him that and try and be so supportive and am so careful not to label him - but he can't seem to make it through the delusions- how do I get him through the paranoia without losing MY mind?

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03/15/2008 12:55
2butterflys
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 Thank you all- I do know I have to let him go and just keep my chin up. It's just hard. I have to stop contacting him and stop responding to him- it's just so I hard because I know how he is going to feel when his high is over and he crashes down and realizes what he's done. And your right- he can pay for his own insurance-don't I sound pathetic. I always thought I was strong but this has chopped me down at the knees. Thank you for talking to me.

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03/15/2008 13:00
norma
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 Helping him without losing yourself may not work....he sounds like he some very serious mental health issues....they may stem from having bipolar disease and there could be other ones here also. From what I am reading you dated him for 2 years, Correct? And during that time he seemed loving and stable. After the wedding he changed, and although you carry him on your insurance and have paid bills for him, he is verbally abusive toward you. Now stop and think if this is how it is at the beginning of the marriage with the honeymoon barely over, how is he going to be later on down the line...I am just throwing this out there for you. Not as a judgment just as an opinion...and thought provoking question....

It might be a good idea if you get some professional counseling on this one...and also, please keep with us here....most of us are here daily and ready to listen...If I am off base in anything I tell you remember this is just my opinion...ok?

"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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03/15/2008 13:09
red1965
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 2Butterflys, It is going to be hard as it is to end any relationship, bipolar or not. It is a good idea to get you and your daughter into counciling. It will help you learn to deal with all of the things that are happening. And as always hang around here, we will do the best we can to help you through.

We are here for you.

RED
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03/15/2008 13:13
2butterflys
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 Thanks Norma- your not off base. He is severly mentally ill and I know it. I am seeing a therapist- helps some but I might need more. I made it through alot of things without meds, but the cruelty here is maybe more than I can handle alone. I feel pretty hopeless- can't stop crying. It's hard to seperate the illness from the person sometimes and I'm not even sure if I should try anymore since he won't talk to me anyhow. I did date him for two years and twice he got angry for weird reasons and cut me off for weeks- but he won me back afterwards with many false promises- I thought it was just behavioral. Now I see different. I am scared of him.

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03/15/2008 13:27
norma
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 Ok, now if you were standing here in front of me you would see my face and the concern in it....listen to your good instinct...if you are afraid of him that means your have a reason to be afraid....I was in a relationship like that once, wasted a lot of time and got out with my life...I should have listened to my instinct...keep posting here, there is always someone here. And I am here....and I care what happens to you.
"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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03/15/2008 13:30
red1965
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 2Butterflys, get in touch with your therapist ASAP. Tell her/him how you are feeling. It is OK to get meds for yourself to help you get through these things, I have taken meds for a short time on a couple of occasions to help with the stress of things. Do you have any family close that you can be with or that can be with you during this time. It is not good to be alone at this time, someone around will help greatly, especially if you are scared of him. If not we are here until the cows come home and will be on as long as you wanna talk.

There is always hope, you have a 9 year old daugther that is just filled with your hopes for the future. She is going to need mommy more than ever. You may want to look into some counciling for her also.

At 9 years old she is starting to become a social butterfly if I am right. Does she play any sports or have favorite things she likes to do, go do them with her. Are there special things you like to do together, now is the time.

Find something that will help occupy your time and thoughts, it helps you not to dwell on him. Just some simple techniques that will hopefully help.

God Bless

RED
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