You really need to get away from the relationship so you can see it from an objective perspective. You cannot do that from within this sphere of abuse.

Lynn, have you looked up codependancy. It is very easy for those of us who are the loved ones of a person with bipolar to become codependant.

I have been where you are I love her so much that I would do anything to stay in the relationship. This is not healthy! I sought help only after hitting rock bottom and loosing myself somwhere along the way. I became as ill as she was. I went to counseling, she got the help she needed desperately (this was the point when she was diagnosed with bipolar and began getting proper medical attention, psychiatrist, therapy, meds). We now have a relationship that can only be described as LOVE, it is a good positive relationship, with all the normal (?) bumps, apparently.

Lynn, you mader reference in an earlier post to loosing yourself, you used to workout, be a personal trainer, have good positive self esteem. It is evident that you miss that person. Go find that person again, happiness comes from within, the only person that can bring you happiness is YOU.

Do you have family you can go to? Go and start doing the things you enjoy. If you feel you are being drawn back to the codependant behavior pour yourself into something (exercise per say, you like that), it will help you get your mind off of things.

BTW, there is nothing wrong with size 7, size 0 does not sound healthy (mind you I do not know how tall you are). Speaking for myself (as I am sure many other men would agree), a woman with all the right curves in all the right places is far more attractive than unhealthy thin. True beauty is something that comes from within, not from the outside.

GOD BLESS

RED