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Bipolar Community Bipolar Support Forums General & Support just had a family meeting-it didn't go so well
 

just had a family meeting-it didn't go so well


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09/06/2007 13:19
happy1
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 Before I had this meeting at 1:30pm est I was feeling good about my husband's inpatient process-now, not so much. First off, I was on the verge of tears during the whole meeting--I was trying to keep composed so we wouldn't focus on me, but I am so stressed out. Anyways, I took some tips along with me--especially the one to ask the dr. to explain why it's important to say on the meds--when he looks at med with a death look--I don't even know how to describe it--basically he is being a totally different person in front of the therapists and docotrs then me--and they don't see it; so I was trying to brin git out of him. They say he will probably be discharged tomorrow. I have spent the last 2 hrs, going back and forth to the bathroom crying at work. If he does stay in thru the weekend, there are visiting hours Friday night and Sunday-and at this rate-I really don't want to go. I am soooo upset right now.
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09/06/2007 13:40
kimmy5893
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 Are you able to speak one on one with his doc? Don't think for one minute that they don't see his manipulation...they do...you just stay strong and take care of you whatever that means you have to do. If you are in fear, you need to find support and/or shelter before he comes home but if possible, try to have a private 1 on 1 conversation with the doc or a supervising nurse on his unit, let her know everything and that you are in fear of him and why...this is extremely important because bp people are very capable of showing people what they want to see when they want to see it...call and try to get someone on the phone that will at least put these concerns down in his chart so the doc can see them and make sure they know that you fear him. You have to protect yourself and have a place to go in the event that it gets difficult when he does come home!
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09/06/2007 14:03
happy1
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 It's not exactly that I fear him-I just get fustrated that he is one way and tone with me; and one other way and another tone with dr.s and counclers. I know--I left a message for his social worker as I was in the parking lot leaving--I want to wait and see what they say about his discharge date. Thank you for the quick advice.

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09/06/2007 14:08
kimmy5893
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 You did the right thing, communication is very important. Just know that the ability to kind of turn it on and off in certain circumstances is VERY common among bp people, my son is soooooo good at it and it's frustrating but I think for the most part the professionals see right through it, just make sure you communicate and don't hold back as this is in his best interest and you and your children's...everyone benefits from effective communication you know...chat anytime you need support. I've been at this a lifetime with my 21 year old son, I've seen it all and it still sends me reeling!! Hang in there!
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09/07/2007 18:37
MsBimbo
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 Yes, we bi-polars can be the consumate actors. We have learned copiing skills that others only dream of. We have even been able (some of us) to turn of our heart and go through life like freight trains blowing everyone out of our way.

Yes, YEs, YES! COmmunicate your concerns and misgivings to the drs and others that can make a difference. They don't know him like you do. They know about the manipulations but may not see the indicators as easily as you can having lived with him so long now.

Hope to hear how it all goes for you, Dear One.

God Bless,

msbimbo

MsBimbo
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01/27/2008 19:34
celticmomma
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 I completely understand you...my husband will be in his room telling me how he is completley manipulating the doctors but you see we don't have a great hospital we have a band aid station...I tell the nurses when I think he is ok and i tell them when he needs to stay longer...I tell them he has 2 small children at home and he is not feeling good...they are so dumb at this hospital but it is the only hospital that he don't have to share a room...the only thing i watch for at this hospital that if they stay for a certain period of time they will give up and commit them to a state institution...lovely...they spend 5 mins with him the doc at the hospital and the nurses and then thy know it all lol...but def. if you don't think he is ready to leave then tell them that your opionion does matter!!
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