Oh GOD! Is reading these posts suppose to hurt?

I had the same feelings when, i read the posts from those who love bipolars. I went into the could of would of should ofs, I went into a depression for almost a year. I think it is part of the depression hitting us. When, I got meds for my depression, i started getting out of it. I felt bad about what, i must have put my loved ones through.

But, with help from my support system, I have come out of it, and am more focussed on the solution, and trying to heal the damage. I am able to get closer to my boyfriend, and my kids.

As far as your past relationship. I had a couple of exes. I blamed my bipolar on everything. I blamed myself for all the bad things in my life. Well, I see now, that they had their part, and I had mine.

My boyfriend had a gambling problem. he has stopped, but, he was nuts, and hurt me alot. My feelings were still valid. Just because, I have bipolar, doesn't mean I am not a person who deserves respect.

My ex left me pregnant with two kids. He left me because of my behavior due to my bipolar, but he didn't have to ditch his kids. My therapist helped me see that is just a selfish a hole. She has helped me see alot of stuff in my life that wasn't my fault. My illness isn't my fault. If someone had epilepsy would you judge them for having seizures?? be easy on yourself. Bipolar isn't easy to live with.

Post edited by: Gypsy, at: 03/12/2008 13:35

Jenny

Hey there and welcome. I am new at this PB deal. I write a lot down and then try to organize it. I always fail at it but for some reason writing the random stuff and trying to organize it relieves me after I get over the frustration of not solving all my problems in 8 minutes. IT is ok to feel the way you do, I try to keep it simple and settle as best I can when I am over analyzing in "freak-out" and make decisions when I am not. I find that being BP can help review a ton of info but bring out the monster while it is happening.

If it takes me 5 times as long to make a decision or get something done or achieve a goal - it is better then when I was the other Hawker.

Just trying to help.