Bipolar Support Group

i feel a small weight has been lifted...so my now ex (thats what he calls himself now)who seems to be in a mixed state or is a rapid cycler flew off the handle again a couple days ago. he left me 12 weeks ago and ever since we've been on quite a roller coaster ride. when he left he hated me, then he said we were gunna make it through this, you all know how it goes... so what seems to have set him off this time was that i didn't answer his call the other night, and his txts. i was asleep god forbid. he can not answer me 99 out of 100 calls and thinks thats ok. so the next day he in a not so direct manner swears he saw me with another guy. won't tell me where or anything, just that he was with a guy that i wouldn't recognize the car and good, i didn't see him. thing is i wasn't...

anyway we had a long txt battle during which he told me he believes everything i say but that he's trying to hate me. said he has a dream where he's in the hospital with self inflicted wounds and that i am standing next to him smiling as he dies...and he wakes up smiling too. then he begged me to let him stop all of this...please please...so i have been seeing a therapist that believes him to be bipolar and she's been telling me to try to talk to him about it; so i told him that. told him i'm not making pokes at him that i love him and am serious. asked him to at least look into it for himself. left it at that and until today heard nothing from him since.

well this afternoon i get a txt that say, "i am bipolar." i said ok, why are you saying this? he said he looked into and he is bipolar. said he doesn't know what he's going to do though. also said does it really matter with what happened between us and i said YES!!! that was the last i heard from him about it but i told him he should look on here and that i love him, even if he accomplished hating me.

i think it's a good thing that he at least told me. i hope he will let me support him.

any words of advice? do i just let it sink in and see if he comes back around?

Ooh, am I the first to reply? SWEET!

Ok, I read the first part about him freaking out over you not answering his calls....

WhenI started working at my last job I would text my g/f all night and call her on most breaks. When she didn't respond to texts or my calls I would jump to conclusions and start assuming that she is cheating on me or in some kind of trouble unknown to me. I would start going through scenarios in my head until I was on the verge of tears. After a while the brain starts to handle these thoughts as if they where real when they infact are not.

It took me along time to get over this. It's not so much trust issues but issues with negatively charged racing thoughts. It's taken me along time to learn how to shut these bad thoughts off. I still can't shut them down 100% but I try my best to pull myself out of slumps and in general I love keeping my brain busy. I have trouble watching TV. I am at home on the computer playing games, listening to music, chatting with people and posting on forums.

I have also tried to somehow learn to hate or unlove my g/f but we are now married and I am glad that I try to manage my actions while in manic-depressive states. I think it's a defense mechanism to try to free yourself from a situation that could potentially hurt you in the future. And I say that's no way to live. I have a beutiful daughter and I'm not concerned about bad things such as the world ending. If it happens it happens and if doesn't then I will be glad I didn't let worries of bad things hold me back from being a father and the best one I can be at that.

Post edited by: BigJ, at: 06/15/2009 04:35 PM

thank you for your insight! i know he drives himself mad with thoughts at times...alot of times! the problem is going to be getting him to realize the reason why he obsesses on it. i hope he does more reading into bipolar. i know why he freaked...he doesn't though, he believes it. sucks because he won't even discuss it with me...says i lie so much i believe myself...i wanna scream "i think you have me confused with you!" although he's not lying...just unreasonable. he's told me soooo many times he knows i would never leave him...but this time when he left he said he left before i could leave him. thought NEVER crossed my mind. you give me hope =)