Bipolar Support Group

hi everyone,

i feel so incredibly anxious right now. i have an uncomfortable feeling inside of me as if there is impending doom and as if i want to jump out of my skin. i took 2 klonopin, but still feel nervous, anxious and unsettled. i don't know why i feel the way i do. my tinnitus is acting up, but this is the first time i remember ever feeling this way except when i'm manic. i don't think i'm manic although i could be and do not recognize it. i'm extremely paranoid and feel like people are watching me and controlling my thoughts. i do not know what to do. i am trying to distract myself by being on the computer,, but my anxiety level is very high right now and i don' know what i can do about it. i'm afraid to eat for fear of getting ill and cannot go outside because it is early in the moirning. i do not know the exact date or time. i can't stand the way i feel and wish my anxity would go away. do any of you feel this way and if so, what do you do about it? id not waknt to call my pdoc for new meds. my meds are working just fine. i'm just anious right now for ai reason i cannot understand. i slept last night from 5-midight and then slept again sometime in the midle of the night uneil now. o'm statting to have racing thoughts as well that are telling me bad things. what can i do about this? i almost feel manic, but am not sure that is what is hapening to me. it feels like amixure of manic and anxiety, but not one more than the other. it is identicial to th way i felt in 2006 when i had my first manic/pychtic episode although ia m not hearing voices right now. i am just feling eterriblt anxious and havnng racing thouvhts and do not know what do to about them. i am trhint to write on the computer to dirract myself from my racing thoughts but canot sto thinking about hiow axious i am. what cn i do to calm myself down and ake my racing thoughts stop? everything is trevaling 100 mph and moving so slow at the same time. i feel like i am not really here. have any of you experienced that before? it is as if i am in a different reality. i've never felt like this except when i wa psychotic in 2006. i don't think i'm psychotic right now but my life does not feel real at the moment. i can't explain why. i just feel severly anxious, hyper and have racing thoughts that will not stop. plesae tell me how i can deal with this because i feel like i'm about to have a nervous breakdown. someone please respiond so i can calm down becaus i don't know what to do. if any oe you have anxiouet please te;l me how you cope because this is new to me and soething i have not felt before. id not like this feeling at all and rith the racing thoughts it is very diffult for me to thik clearly. even now i am trying to stop and think about what i ant to saty because i keep losing my train of thought. please offer suggestions because i need a way to calm down. i can't sleep becaue i'm too anxious and the racing thoughts are traveling ttoo fast. i can't eat because i don't want to get sick, so there is nothing left for me to do. i've already taken 2 klonopin but it has not helepd my anxiety. if any of you have felt the way i have in terms of being very anxious, as if you are not really there and extremly paranoid, please tell me what yu have done about it. the way i feel is unfamiliar to me ecept when i was manic/psychotic in 2006, buit the anxiey level i feel is much higher than it has ever been. i feel sick to my stomach as well and faint so if anyone can tell me what i can do about this, i would appreciatte any sugesetions.

Neon, I am so sorry you are feeling this way. It sounds like you are really anxious. I'm like you and take klonopin for my anxiety and it usually works. HOw many Klonopin can you take at one time? I'm allowed to take both mine at a time. I wonder if you don't need stronger klonopin .5 mgs is a very small dose. I take 1mg and it still works for my anxiety but, i use to be on .5mgs and it stopped working for me. I know you don't want to call your doc but you really may need to, if the klonopin doesn't start working. It sounds like you are really suffering with this and I'm afraid I don't know what to tell you to do. If i'm really anxious I walk around in circles around the house or try and walk on my treadmill but like you all I can think of are the racing thoughts. If i were you I would stay on the computer so that it keeps your mind busy. Although I know if would be next to impossible to concentrate. I still think calling your pdoc would be the best move. I'm afraid you may need stronger klonopin. Sorry I couldn't be of more help. Please write back and let me know how you are doing, I'll be here.

Lisa, its me Cynthia, It's going to be okay. Do the breathing exercises, sit cross legged on the floor and sit up straight breath in as deep as you can, hold it for 5 sec and release it at a count of 5sec. You are having a panic attack, at least that's what it sounds like. Put on the soft music or/and take a warm bubble bath. Relax no one is watching you and there is nothing to be afraid of. I'll keep talking to you until you feel better. Let the Klonopin kick in.

If you need to take 2 more klonopin Niecy's right the .5mg is a very low dose and 2 1mg is not going to hurt you.

i can take 2 klonopin up to 4 times a day when i'm manic. i don't know if i'm manic right now though. if i am rapid cycling, i can take 2 klonopin 3 times a day, but i'm not rapid cycling unless you call being anxious cycling. all i knwo is i suddenly felt this amazing degree of anxiety that will not go away. my head is starting to hurt now as well due to the racing thoughts that will not stop. i've closed all of the blinds in my living room so no one can watch or hurt me. i feel like my thoughts rae being contrlled by an external source although i do not know what it is. it is someone outisde of myself who is doing it. i am normally very calm on my meds, but for some reason i feel manic, hyper, confused and anxious. id on't know why this is hapening to me. i would go to the er but am afraid they will send me to the hospital i was ip at in 2006 where they drugged me into a catatonic state for 17 hours. aftually it was much longer than that based on the medical reports i read.it was more like 2 days. i don't want that to happen again nor do i want to be in the hospital. all i want is for my anxiety and racing thoughts to stop. i am not wearing my cochlear implants because if i try to listen to music or the tv, it makes me even more anxious, paranoid and nervous. i cannot tell the diference between what is real and what isn't when i hear voices on tv. they all sound so real and as if they are in the same room with me, but whn i turn off the tv or radio, everything is silent. i wll call my pdoc. maybe my klonopin does need to be raised. i am on .5mg which has worked well fo rme, so i don't understand why it isn't helping. when i was ip in 2006 i was given ativan which worked for my anxiety, so maybe i need to change meds. i dn't know but will leave that up to my pdoc. i don't know what time it is now, but his office does not open until 8 unless i page him or leave a message on his voice mail. i'd rather not do either of those things becuase ido not want to worry him. i think i can wait until 8. i just chedkted the time and it is 6:40. i will keep dsitrating myself on the computer until 8 and then call to say it is an emergency. i wish i could go to the er but i do not want to end up in the hospital. i'm tired of hospitals and all it will do is depress me.

taurus,

i'm confused. why am i having a panic attack? i've never had panic attacks before, so why is this happening to me now?

Neon,

Anxiety is probably the symptom that I have the most problems with. What your describing certainly sounds like the beginning of an episode. I have been feeling revved up inside lately as well. It always scares me when this happens and I do most everything I can to shut it down quickly. Here a list of what I personally do.

1. No caffeine, not even a cup of coffee in the morning. I avoid sugar as well.

2. Eat large meals. It makes me incredibly tired to be full. Honestly sometime I have to choke down the food but it is worth it.

3. Listen to elevator music on my ipod.

4. I use scented candles when I am pulling out all the stops.

5. Hot baths are my favorite but hot showers can help me too.

6. If I have the energy, which when I am like this I generally do. I exhaust myself doing something physical. Usually that involves cleaning house, scrubbing floors, etc.

7. Getting out of the house and going somewhere can help me too.

If all else fails, I have a medication named temazepam 30 mg (Restoril) that my doc prescribed for these occasions. It has never failed to knock me out. Hope you will be feeling better soon.

Neon,

I don't know why you have just started having panic attacks. I have suffered from them for my whole life. There is a free self help site that I would like to recommend if this is your first experience with panic. It really helped me to understand what was going on physically when these happened.

http://anxieties.com/panic.php

taurus,

i will take 2 more klonopin and see if it helps. i'm also tempted to take my 300mg of trazodone, but am afraid to because that may be too much medication along with the klonopin. my racing thoughts are getting louder and are traveling faster like a whirlwind. i am also hearing a mutitude of voices overlapping each other with a mixture of evil laughter although it is different from the voices i normally hear. i know they aren't my normal voices because they aren't talking about death or dying. all i'm hearing right now are repetitive thoughts about how awful and weak i am. i also hear certain song lyrics in my head. all of the songs have a very fast drum beat which is making me feel even more manic although i'm not manic per say. i just feel hyper and anxious. maybe it's mania. i really don't know.

You are getting ready to deal with things in therapy and you are already making progress. Back in 1999 that's the same thing that happened to me, I think your pdoc just needs to raise your klonopin. Your body is just reacting and panic attacks can hit out of the blue for no reason. It is your subconsious at work. Remember this is not real and you are safe. I pray alot when I have panic attacks it really helps to give me peace. I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere.