Bipolar Support Group

Ok, so I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost two years now. I've cheated on him several times while I've been in a manic phase. I feel horrible for doing so, though we're trying to repair our relationship. Things are going well so far and I haven't really gone manic lately and I hope it stays that way. It's almost like the beginning of a new relationship is addictive...you can have a rewarding relationship by keeping it new and fresh, but you never get that "high" of a new relationship ever again. I feel horrible for even admitting to ever cheating..it's almost like I have an alter ego. I really am a genuinely empathetic, caring person...please don't think I'm horrible. I told my boyfriend and he's willing to work with me on this, though I know it's hard for him to trust me...which is completely understandable. I just needed to get this off my chest...almost like a "confession" or something. Trying not to hate myself... God, please forgive me.

I don't judge you. Everyone makes mistakes. Nobody is perfect. You've come clean with your bf and with God. Now you have to forgive yourself which is the hardest thing to do. I don't know why. I'm still trying to forgive myself for the horrible things I did when I was manic and drinking. When I found out I was bipolar I was so relieved I cried because finally I knew what was wrong with me. I never felt like anyone else so I drank to cover it up which just made it worse. Don't hate yourself, you were sick and now you are making amends. That's what's important. You can't change the past all you can do is move forward.

I dont judge you either. You are not alone in your pain. I have done the exact same as you, except I am married. Thankfully my husband has been forgiving. I now have my BP2 under control. Now all I have to do is forgive myself. You must do this also.

we are not here to pass judgement, but to offer support and help where we can. People do things that they later regret. When this happens just try to get your stuff in order and pick up the pieces. If you need to chat just jump on we can do it for you.

Zeldabelle, I agree with the others... and I am the LAST one to judge- been in your situation and married for a long time. Just move forward... Take it day by day

Making a 'confession" as you said and making the ammends to your boyfriend is a great step and a hard one. You are cleansing your soul and you can only grow from the experience. Like taurus said, it is now time to forgive yourself which for some reason is the hardest part. Just remember you are a loveable person, your boyfriend loves you and you can love yourself and heal yourself.

No judgment here. I'm not into casting stones. I'm glad you have been honest about it. Secrets have a way of growing until they become too heavy a burden. You are not a bad person.

We need to remember that when we are manic etc we do things that we normally would not consider. The bipolar does this not you. I understand the feeling your talking about and can only say that your not alone. Come here whenever you need to, vent and let it out thats why we are here.

Curlupandie

Thank-you for all the kind words everyone.