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Question about my boyfriend with bipolar disorder



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03/05/2008 19:54
ashley890
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Hi everyone. I just joined this site minutes ago because I don't know what to do anymore. I want to start planning a future with my boyfriend but he seems to scared to even leave his house and his mother. He won't even come visit me at college because of the thought of being away from home. I know he's Bipolar and I'm pretty sure he has Bipolar II. We have definitely talked about it but I still have the hardest time understanding. I just don't get it. I want to understand and I have been trying my hardest but he seems uncomfortable going into detail. I need someone to try to explain things to me like why doesn't he want to leave his house? Why he says he can't sleep in other places? And why he can't just tell himself to be OK? I love him so much, every inch of him. I would never let his disorder come between us. I accept and love him for who he is, and I tell him that all the time. I never really notice anything specific about his disorder. Just the little things like I said... like he won't do certain things because he's worried how he will feel. I just need to get a better understanding for what he's going through. I feel helpless because I just want to tell him everything will be fine but I know it wouldn't do anything. So thank you ahead of time for some help and information!
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03/05/2008 21:27
Gypsy
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Hi ashley890,

Welcome. I am glad you found us. You will find lots of really great people here who are bipolar, and others who are spouses of people with bipolar.

The reason your boyfriend is a fraid of leaving his house due to what's called aghoraphobia. It is anxiety, and fear of being around strange places, and people. I had a fear of walking down the street because, I was afraid of dogs. It was apart of the depression phase of my bipolar disorder. I was afraid of leaving my comfort zone. I could hide out in my house forever. The other fear could be that he is afraid he might have an episode if he goes anywhere unfamiliar.

Do you know if he is on meds, or in therapy? The meds, and therapy have really helped me with the fear of going anywhere.

So, anyway, there is an aghoraphobia support group on this site, if you want more info on it.

Also I would suggest researching everything you can about this disorder. There is a lot of info out there online. There are alot of stories on this forum from people who love bipolars,too.

Feel free to vent, share or give advise.

God Bless,Gypsy
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03/06/2008 16:33
carmen33
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hey Ashley, welcome to the group, we're glad to have you here, I saw that you wanted him to tell himself he's "ok" bipolar like cancer or diabetes, isn't something that you can talk your way out of.. it doesn't work like that, he needs to have therapy and possibly medications to help him get better.

I know a lot of "Normal" people who have phobia's about using the public restrooms, they will go with out using them till they get home, a lot of people bipolar or not, have trouble sleeping away from home..

You can educated yourself by being on here, and by looking up all the information you can find online, there are shelves and shelves of information at the library, somewhere on here in the archives of the posts you will find one with recommended reading, that will give you some titles to look for..



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