Bipolar Support Group

i am growing to have a love hate relationship wih my rapid cycle i mean i love when iam manic and ebery one around me loves this state also i meani am very high on life nothing can stop me i am funny out going and ready to face the world and the 5 mins later i am a depressed mess i mea i am sitting here wondering what the fuck am i doing alive i just want it to be over and then in then in the snap of a fingure im so angry i an to just grab some one and take my anger out on them...i am like many diffrent people every day i think i is hell living this way but then i have lived like this for years and i love the manic times but hate the rest...so i am torn what would life be like with out rapid cycles i am sorry if this make no senece trust me i cant keep up wih my thoughts either

Skitz,

I'm a rapid cycler myself. My moods change every hour and sometimes every minute. I can see what you mean about having a love/hate relationship with rapid cycling. I feel the same way. One of the "advantages" of rapid cycling is the fact that moods don't last long. However, this can also be a disadvantage due to how emotionally exhausting it is.

As far as whether or not it is better to feel "normal" as opposed to rapid cycling, if you've never experienced "normal" mood before, I can understand why you would have trouble determining this.

I've been relatively stable since last month. Because of that, I can tell you I prefer to feel level. I don't like rapid cycling because it's tiring and I never know how I'm going to feel from one moment to the next.

I much prefer "normal" mood (where I don't cycle at all) because at least I know what I'm feeling and don't have to worry about cycling from one mood to another without warning.

neon, i ant remebe when i had a normal mood i mean i have had days wher i dont cycle as much and can kinda stay in control i mean hide it well

Post edited by: Skitz0417, at: 05/20/2009 11:55 PM

skitz, I completly know how you feel and it makes total sense. been there, done that. sorry you have to go through it to. I was good all day till I tried to sleep then went crazy. my husband got up, we spent some time to ourselves, now he is asleep again. I tried to to but went crazy again. man I hate this bp. i hate it i hate i hate it

neon what are you on to stop your rapid cycling. I need that so much. I have never known what it is like to be normal. I'm either high or low one extreme or the other. constantly. it's annoying to me and others. I do like when I feel really really good. I wish I could feel like that all the time. like I can do anything and there is nothing I can't do. but I have to give my hubby my money or i will definatly be in trouble.

tinao,

I take Klonopin to help control my rapid cycling. When my moods are level, I take one Klonopin in the morning. If I'm having problems with rapid cycling, I take 2 Klonopin 3x/day. It works great for me and as my pdoc said, it's the extra boost I need to maintain a higher degree of stability. If truth be told, I consider Klonopin to be my miracle med. Without it, I'd still be rapid cycling several times/hour or minute by minute.

Skitz,

You may want to ask your pdoc about Klonopin. Each of us is different and what works for one person may not work for another, but I've found Klonopin to do a wonderful job of controlling my rapid cycling.