Bipolar Support Group

I am sitting here at 12;30 am crying that my son is growing up he will be 14 in June and i am so very depressed over him growing up i know that may sound so stupid but that is the way that i am feeling right now. He is the only child that i have and i got to thinking tonight that he will start high school this year and i am just freaking out about it. He will always be my baby but i am so scared that he wont need me as much as i am writing this i am sitting here all alone and crying i just need to get this off of my chest i am so very blessed i have him and my hubby in my life but i have hurt them so many times and for that i am truly sorry.

It is not fair that they have to suffer from my disease i wish i could just go back in time and take every mean thing back that i have done and said. I hope that someone reading this understand what i am going through it is very hard to put into words the way that i am feeling right now so alone and depressed but i am not alone if that makes any sense at all to you. Thank you all for listening to me just get it out.

Ah Trishy, It is the old story that we mums feel when the family is growing up. We feel that our purpose is life is gone and we are no longer needed. WRONG.

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Of course that is quite incorrect. A fourteen year old sure needs him mum and his dad for that matter.

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As time goes on, you will find a mother can never sign off. Even if the kid marries have their own kids, the mother and dad are still needed.

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However seeing that you are feeling particulary depressed you should possibly need someone (professional)to talk to about this.

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I must confess that the following would annoy me, but you may find your life fuller if you find some occupation, hobby, work, voltering work. Give your life a bit more scope.

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All the best,

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JennyWren

Post edited by: jennywren, at: 05/19/2009 12:54 AM

Ah, Jennywren is so VERY right! Trishy, my kids are all 'grown', but they need me everyday. In fact, now that they are adults, I feel even more loved by them. Since my illness has been diagnosed, we are closer and more open about our feelings. Yah, some things have changed, the needs are sometimes different, but deep down, it is basically the same. My daughter is 30 and needs me just as much; I gett the phone calls regarding her daughter every week...she is sick, she scraped something, what do I do kind of thing.

They will ALWAYS need us sweetie, and a boy (having 3 of my own) needs us, but cannot always (or WON'T) admit it!!

And the illness....yeah, it sucks, and we talk about the stupid stuff I've done, and I've put them thru HELL....BUT it's made us closer. It's US against the world and BP is in OUR world, ya know?

Hangt in there honey, your son is getting to the mojst interesting part of his life...don't mourn it, enjoy the journey with him...and your job? It's JUST beginning now.

{{{{Trishy}}}} I know where you are coming from...as my kids get older it seems like they need me less and less. But, that is a good thing...if I did my job then, they become self-sufficient.

I wish I could have one more day when they were little...at the time I thought the endless days of homework, soccer practice, etc. would never end. But, they did grow up...now one is getting married and my son just bought his first car on his own...with no help.

Love you, Trishy...{{{Muaaahhh big hugggg}}}}

Post edited by: norma, at: 05/19/2009 04:23 AM

Thank you all so very much i dont know what i would do without you i am glad to see that i am not just going crazier. I think as he grows up i just feel like i am not needed as much.

Love you all so very much

Love you too, Trishy darling...

First, OMG is that NORMA?????? LOL Great to see you.

And Trishy, I know how you feel. Thursday is my youngest daughters 8 birthday. She is getting so big. My older one will be 17 in August. The relationship changes over time but they still need me. At least on payday. One thing that really saved my relationship with my oldest one was actually listening to one of her friends. We were in the car driving somewhere and this girl was just jibbering away. And I realized, OMG, this is the same thing that goes on in my daughter's head. LOL! My daughter looks a lot older, stands 5'9". She could easily pass for 21 or 22. And she tries to act grown. But as this other girl was talking, I just realized how much of child she still was. My kids still need me to help them think about things differently. And to listen. To care.

High school is awful. There is treachery, debauchery, violence, drugs, stuck up girls.....blah blah blah...the list goes on and on. My job is to keep them focused and help them with their choices. I doubt that will ever change.

I think the best thing about my sons growing up is we get to be friends. When they are little you can't be their friend because your constantly teaching them so you have to be firm but loving. But now that my sons are 17 and 19 instead of arguing with me they open doors for me do their chores without complaining and many more mature things.

We can talk to eachother about anything and they don't resent my advice anymore but they don't have to take it either. I miss their fat baby legs and cheeks. But man was that alot of work, now I just get to enjoy them and their lives are their own. I still worry about them but it's different now.

I cried at every birthday because they were growing up. My Mom told me I would enjoy them even more when they grew up and she was right. So don't worry Trishy, it's not the end of the world. Your in for a real treat, just get through the teenage years and everything will be okay.

Ahhhh Trishy, I felt like that when my daughter moved out. Like I didn't have a purpose anynore cause I wasn't taking care of her. We have become extremely close since she has moved out and is getting to be quite responsible. Its hard to see our babys grow up. My son is 18 and graduating in a few days. Wow, he really doesn't need me anymore. But they do. The relationships change and become stronger. High school is tough, but if you have done a good job, he will do fine in school.

I understand about the illness stuff too. I once kicked a hole in a wall over something stupid. But I still feel guilty that my children had to witness it. Kim to this day, thinks its funny. So what does that mean. I guess she doesn't think I was that bad.

Anyway, I hope you feel better and remember your friends here.

((((((HUGS)))))))

Speaking from the other shoe, the young man that needs his mother. I wish every day I could call my mom, tell her how much I love her. Ask her questions everyday, ask for advise when it comes to the ladies. Trust me your baby will always need you. With love he will come to you on a regular basis.