It's okay to talk openly--better, in fact.

This topic is a spin off from the following thread:

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/bipolar-support-forums/ general-support/43031-bipolar-sex-2

Those of you who lament Stan's leaving the forum may still PM him. He still has an active membership.

THAT is part of the "truth."

So why don't y'all continue to PM him. He would be gratified, I'm certain, to hear from you--if and when he logs on.

I am not aware of any member, including me, who is glad he left.

THAT is part of the truth.

Stan never gave me permission to share our private dialogue (PM's between him and me) with our membership, nor did I give him permission. Therefore I have, with great respect for Stan and others, not shared the private dialogues I had with him or with other members.

The rest of the "truth" about Stan's leaving is buried in that dialogue--a dialogue which consists of much more than "selected" messages.

Yes, he left, angrily, defensively, but under no pressure to do so.

THAT is part of the truth.

Moderators and group leaders serve as your resources--members, just like you, who have given their time and effort to serve you, not to dictate to you. Trust AND truth are critical elements in that service! While WE are not at liberty to betray your trust and YOUR confidences, YOU are, clearly AND SADLY, under no covenant to honor that trust in reverse.

In the same way that we serve you, MDJ staff members, such as Roy, serve the moderators and group leaders. As you may turn to us with your needs, we may turn to MDJ staff members with OUR needs.

I have had many private dialogues with MDJ staff and with group leaders about various members and various issues, and, until a few days ago, the standard of privacy and trust remained intact. I have also had many private dialogues (PM's with hundreds of members), which have been candid, earnest, and confidential. Were I indeed to disclose my PM's with Stan in defense of myself, I would breach the trust I have established with hundreds of other members!

Defending my reputation is not worth that price! Nor is your peace of mind and well being on this forum worth that price!

Now, just a couple more issues, IF y'all are still reading this...!

--All stories have two sides, but you're probably only going to hear just one, this time. Of course I regret that. Who WOULDN'T!?

--Be careful when you reach out to help someone who doesn't want your help, because it's most likely to bite you in the ass!

...and I encourage you to keep talking, openly and sincerely, about your feelings and beliefs in the matter of Stan's leaving. It's a healthy process, and it may help you to gain a more positive perspective.

With fondness and genuine respect,

Jim

Post edited by: JR1, at: 02/25/2008 03:12

So, people could ask questions and get answers. I understand and respect your protecting the private pm messages. Stan is missed by a lot of people.

So why did he have to go create a new account at the library under the name "thetruthwillset you free to make his last post which was deleted within seconds along with all the private hugs he sent everyone. What kind of game are you playing?

Your truth and the REAL truth are obviously something totally different.

He tried to sign on to his account several times without success. Are you telling us now that he has been unblocked? I know he has been following the threads on occassion - sitting on the sidelines because he could not sign into his account and chose not to go to the library to use a different account name.

As you said there are two stories to every situation - the that statement I completely agree! Stan had no reason to lie. Your emails to him were dispicable, unethical and you were wrong to have written them!

Now I ask you why you would invite him back? Do you honestly think he would return so you can write him more emails as you did in the past? Is supposed to subject himself to more humiliation. Don't you think for one minute the man has some respect? If what happened to Stan to me do you honestly think for one minute I would return to this place - would you if you were treated the way he was?

It makes no sense for him to say that and not do it. Nor ask me at the risk of getting booted off of here to do it for him. Lustrious is both brave and a good friend.

See what this is all about is coming to a place and meeting people. Well, when you do that you care for them. You hear their stories and you become involved with them. You begin to love them. When someone is abolished it makes the other people wonder why?

I will try to send the e-mail tomorrow. This whole thing saddens me because this place has such a potential for joy and healing. Norma

But I have to ask you, in all honesty do you feel that continuing this is going to serve any purpose other than causing more hurt feelings? there were what I consider injustices caused on both sides, and my main concern here is for the group as a whole.. not just one individual..

For me personally I do not see where this is going to serve any greater good for anyone, and it will only serve to hurt those that are here for our support, and can cause a great deal more harm to those seeking out this group, possibly it might mean the difference in life or death for someone who is at the end of their ability to hang on..and really really needs someone to understand the pain that they are in and needs someone to talk with, if I was a new person coming into this group, and saw something like this, I would run the other way.

I am in no way saying that you should not express your feelings and concern on this matter, but I believe it can be done in a more diplomatic way and in a way that it will cause no harm to the group as a whole. Before you think of yourselves, and your anger or grudges, whatever you would like to call them, please think of the other person first, who's needs might be greater than your own..

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/bipolar-support-forums/ general-support/50850-daughter-having-severe-problems#51191

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/bipolar-support-forums/ general-support/50631-everything-went-to-hell-fast

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/bipolar-support-forums/ general-support/49686-need-adviseinsightopinions-help

Those are just three threads, want more? just go to the introductions page, the general page, you will find plenty there to chose from.

Am I to understand that some of you think it wise to let go of the whole matter?

How about the rest of you?

Respectfully,

Jim