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03/13/2011 08:26 PM

do bi polar people hurt people they love on purpos(page 6)

Hopefulsoul
Posts: 131
Member

I wasn't going to comment on this but will. Some people hurt other people purposely and some people don't irrespective of whether they have bipolar or not. Mental illness does not mean a person automatically hurts others. Asking this question and carefully reading the responses should tell you that some people want to hurt others and some don't. That's life and people are all individual, none of us are clones so any condition affects people and comes out in different ways. Including the human condition; for which there's no getting away from we all have; including you.
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07/06/2011 08:24 AM
luann
luann  
Posts: 15
Member

thank you so much for this cause ive been trying to think of a way to talk to my boyfriend about things he says to me and didnt know how so thank you..
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07/06/2011 08:27 AM
luann
luann  
Posts: 15
Member

i have other questions also if i may ask them
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07/06/2011 08:32 AM
Zin

My dear Lady, ask any questions you wish, as many as you wish!
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07/26/2011 11:02 PM
bohi1030
Posts: 11
Member

I'd like to talk to secular humanist b/c we share common things. I'm bpII, on meds and stable. There's a rift in my family as big as the Grand Canyon. My husband and I have tried to live our lives happily, mostly by ourselves. When the family gets together there're rude, insulting, and needling. I feel uncomfortable while I'm in their midst. It is a common rule that I must attend the grandkids birthdays and family functions even though I don't feel comfortable. We have been stagnant for six years and no one wants to air the problems. There is so much hurt in the family (and grudges on both ends)that we don't call each other, we don't visit one another, and we aren't friendly with each other. We tolerate each other until the birthday party is over. I pull my weight and contribute my fair share and keep my mouth shut the whole time. If sdomeone asks me a question I'll answer with a perky smile and that is all I want to contribute. I sit at the table while the birthday party is going on and we're the first ones to leave. Let's discuss the pain in being shunned.
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08/08/2011 10:26 AM
luann
luann  
Posts: 15
Member

i know this was in 09 but i have some questions for you if you dont mind?
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08/08/2011 12:49 PM
Silverclaw
Silverclaw  
Posts: 379
Member

First: I believe that it is different for every person, bp or not, and that not every bp person is just bp. It could be other underlying things as well as the childhood experiences that the said individual has learned from. That being said, I have learned certain tools long before I was diagnosed. I can't control when I'll snap, I don't snap on purpose, but after I snap I know I do inflict pain on purpose. I haven't been physical about it since I was 16, but I have been extremely verbal. The more I hold things in the more fuel I have for the fires of rage, therefore I make a point to air my grievances to those closest to me in a calm environment. I have learned to recognize my breaking point so I may remove others or myself from the situation before reaching the point of no return. I have no shame in pushing anyone away before my kettle overflows because it is better than the alternative, it's a coping mechanism that keeps others from any possible abuse. I don't think I'm like this because of bp, rather I am way more susceptible. But in my opinion, for others to have control over these things, they have to recognize it in themselves first and then learn tools that help their individual needs. It is a battle and I often stumble like everyone else, but my tools help keep me afloat and gives me a sense of self control, it's a great feeling when I overcome this certain type of impulses and one I hope all those who suffer from any mental condition can experience! Again, these are just my own opinions based upon my own experiences and it is different for everyone, much like fingerprints! I just hope my post can be of some insight to another.
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08/08/2011 01:33 PM
capecod84
capecod84  
Posts: 1820
Senior Member

I couldn't understand the original post of this thread, but answering the title I say no. Its brain chemistry and reacting to circumstances. Most bipolars on meds don't react without being provoked just like a normal person. Unless you are just a mean person to start out with bipolar or not I think lots of people wish they could take back things. We do just need the help of our meds.
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08/08/2011 02:30 PM
chaudoin
chaudoin  
Posts: 269
Member

I don't believe that anyone can blame their bp for purposely hurting someone. That being said, I will point out that anger and irritability are symptoms of mania. Since this is true, when the person is manic they get angry much more easily than when they are stable.
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08/20/2011 11:57 AM
Intheshadows
 
Posts: 150
Member

I have Bi-Polar II and I do not hurt the ones I love purpose. I'm sure that sometimes they're hurt. They hurt me, too. The biggest hurt is when they stop listening and decide that our problems are all because I have BP-II. In truth, many of us are no different from the population at large. We do our best, but sometimes hurt the people we love. On the other hand, you can easily hurt a loved one with out having Bi-Polar. I find that getting and staying stable has removed a lot of the situations that cause problems. I have also re-evaluated who stays in my life. Those who hit my triggers are gone. I loved the suggestion about having your significant other come to some of your counseling sessions with you. I think that is a way to discuss differences in a safe, objective environment where misconceptions about BP can be easily cleared up without anyone feeling attacked.
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