MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
05/05/2009 07:31 PM

do bi polar people hurt people they love on purpos

happybunny696
 
Posts: 23
Member

Do they? I hate it cure for that should be priority before cancer I swear. Is there a big dif between bi polar and schizophrenic? I love u I miss you hour later I hate u I have no space in my life for stupid ppl n I'm like so used to it but ahhh so u hate me or love me wtf r u hurting me pushing buttons why ahh so ???
--- The discussion has been locked ---


05/05/2009 07:56 PM
bluejay36
Posts: 15
Member

I know that people with bipolar don't purposely hurt their loved ones. They are just as content hurting themselves. I try so hard not to hurt my family. They still have to live with my violent mood swings even though I recieve good medical attention and medication. I do try to make my family aware when I recognize that I'm in a certain state of mind. For example: if I or they point out that I'm being short tempered and totally out in left field. I remind them that I'm sick and whatever I say I don't mean personally. It is me and not them. I apologize and ask for space. I may suggest for my husband to take the girls out for a movie or meal. Then their are times that he takes me away. When I'm in that depressive mode it's just as bad. One year I missed my child's basketball entire season because the depression wasn't under control and it took spring before it was. My suggestion to you is to evaluate your own mind and heart and try to determine if you can live in a relationship like that. If you choose to stay in it. Try and develope a stradegy on how to deal with these issues while your loved one is closest to being stable. Commit to communication even when it is hard but also determine those boundaries when it is just not a good idea to say anything. Listen to them and try to focus them on listening to you too. It is a hard road to love a bipolar victim. But if you are commited to that person and you understand that love is not an emotion it is a commentment to stay with someone no matter what. Hang in their if you really want to. But if you already see that this is a life you don't want then be encouraged and let them no that to. Gain your on strenght so that you can to be o.k sharing that with that person to. Good Luck!
--- The discussion has been locked ---


05/05/2009 08:14 PM
happybunny696
 
Posts: 23
Member

Awwwwww you sound like a wonderful person that truely cares for the family that's really amazing and you have all of my respect!! Thank you for the reply too.. And I guess alcohol stress and ritalin doesn't help bi polar huh?
--- The discussion has been locked ---


05/06/2009 09:31 AM
FlyersFan27
FlyersFan27Posts: 17
Member

I am in a new relationship with a woman I meet online and she is Bipolar. We meet back in January and got serious within the last month and I plan on moving to be with her in a few months. She does the the same things that you mention. At first I took everything she said or did to heart and I got hurt alot due to that. I talked with her family and they stressed to me to take what she says or does with a grain of salt most of the time because she doesn't mean it. I also started to educate myself on the disorder and what I should and shouldn't do, that helped me a lot too. Now I just listen and I am compationate and I am supportive the best way I can be right now. I tell her everyday Good Morning and that I love her in a IM. Then it's up to her if she wants to talk to me or not. She eventually does, might take 5 minutes or 6 hours, but that depends on how she is feeling and I don't take that to heart and get upset that she is ignoring me anymore. Unfortunatly it's like chess game. I will make the first move of the day usually and then I will wait for her reaction. But of course if I don't make the first move by a certain time, she will question that too. But again, I give her the truth as to why I hadn't done my morning greeting while she is sleeping. My new goal is to be positive in this relationship and be the best man I can be for her, because I deeply care and love her. I hope this helps you out.
--- The discussion has been locked ---


05/06/2009 10:19 AM
bluejay36
Posts: 15
Member

Having been a nurse in the mentally retarded and the mentally ill(hospital care)I can give you this one certain advise. If she see a therapist on a regular basis then get her to make an appointment for both of you so that you can address her issues and unique difficulties with bi-polar. If there isn't a therapist in the picture then you should be able to accomplish the same thing with her Dr. Either way this will help you both. Yet, I know that it will take a lot of courage on both of your parts. I say this because without that step bi-polar will, in my opinion, steal your relationship with her.

My husband and I have been married 19 years. In the begining these were not all that hard. I was 18 and he was 19. We were both young and stupid. Both of us came into our marriage with issues. We talk about those things that we new could potentially destroy our relatioship. Over time loved took care of his issues while mine all the while grew worse. What I'm trying to say is that I didn't get here all at once. But with a new buding relationship were bipolar is pretty much in your face, well,it can get harder before it gets better.

--- The discussion has been locked ---


05/06/2009 10:28 AM
ladyrb
ladyrb  
Posts: 513
Member

I know for me when my meds need to be rechecked I get really nasty with my family. They know that is my disease that is talking. Once I get off my high horse they let me know that is time for a visit to my dr. They make a list of the things I have done to them and I take to my dr. It is not done on purpose it is just something that comes out.
--- The discussion has been locked ---


05/06/2009 11:09 AM
bluejay36
Posts: 15
Member

Yea, I know. I think this is harder on my oldest. She forgets and I try to repair whatever I've done against her. The only thing I can really do is say sorry.

I'm sorry to send this on your post to me but I'm not feeling good at all to day. My children have had strep throat and now I think I'm coming down with it. My throat is killing me. And I just feel weak and achy. Therefore, I probably won't reply to anything else today. Oh, the one that posted the "retardation " thing-I'm trully sorry if I sounded rude and I probably did. I'm just not doing well. Please you guys don't start hating me for it all. Bluejay

--- The discussion has been locked ---


05/06/2009 11:17 AM
mechjockusa
mechjockusa  
Posts: 2775
Senior Member

Back to the first question as I understand it, do bipolar people hurt the ones they live on purpose. Well speaking as one who is bipolar and has a severe attraction to anger, yes we do, but do we mean to yes and no. The feelings are there, we may love someone but when manic we hate them. I firmly beleive that our deepest feelings come out wether we are manic or depressed. The feeling we do not realize we have. It is nice if short tempered to ask for space but our feelings that we give off are real and scary. When i rage i understand what i am doing, i know i cannot control it, but i understand what i am doing. I have some friends that I love as family, but when I rage I attack them and at the moment do not care, thank God they understand and accept me as is.

Post edited by: mechjockusa, at: 05/06/2009 11:18 AM

--- The discussion has been locked ---


05/06/2009 11:48 AM
ladyrb
ladyrb  
Posts: 513
Member

mechjockusa when I rage against my children I know I am wrong and sometimes things come out that should not come out but I don't do it on purpose and I really don't mean what I tell them. It is just anger that has been bruining for a long time but I know that things I have told have nothing to do with them. So NO In really don't mean to be mean with them.
--- The discussion has been locked ---


05/06/2009 12:10 PM
JuliaAnnK
JuliaAnnK  
Posts: 8
Member

ladyrb, I so know where you are coming from. My kids are teens so the trigger is always there to loose it on them because they know everything and don't know when to keep it quiet. It seems now, I rely on them a lot of the time to be able to notice my manic phases before I do so they can help to end the argument possibly before it begins. My rage that I carry is always boiling on the surface and so one off hand comment or a dirty glare is going to set me off. Yesterday it was a tought that got me riled and by the time the girls got home from school, I went off on them. Although it was called for because they had been asked a zillion and a half times to clean up their mess in the living room, the way that I go about it or the tone I use is not necessary. Honestly, I don't know what takes these manic symptoms away but I am gona start with counsling. I am hoping that getting some of this underlying anger out will prevent an eruption in the future.
--- The discussion has been locked ---


Share this discussion with your friends:
<< Start < Prev 1 Next > End >>


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved