Bipolar Support Group

I am new to all of this but need some help. I have been married to my husband for 11 years. He has a VERY explosive temper and yes, had two times laid a hand on me. I have NO confidence in myself because he is always pointing out the things I do wrong. In the same breath, he would do just about anything for me. He blames me for everything and can't make a single decision on his own. He pushed me off the bed once and I hit my legs on the side of the bed. As I laid on the floor crying, he ran to my childrens room and turned lights on while both were sleeping, yelling get the kids and get out. He almost broke my sons bed with him in it because he wouldn't take a nap. He uses the "f" word as if it was part of the dictionary. He broke my kitchen chair and ripped the vinyl on the floor. Hit a $2500 tv over a football game..........oh the list goes on and on and on and on. I have taken my wedding ring off many times and threatened divorce. I have found TONS of porn on his computer and caught him three times masturbating on the couch watching porn on the tv at 2am. I have two small boys (7 & 3) and I just feel so guilty to have asked their father to leave but I just can't deal with his anger issues anymore. My oldest son is petrified of his father for the most part but I know he loves him to death. His temper has gotten him written up at work. I thought this is the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with but I honestly don't want to anymore. I have begged on many occasions for him to get help and he wouldn't but when I asked him to leave me and the kids he got medication and begged for me to get back with him. I accepted countless amounts of I am sorrys but that just isn't good enough anymore. I feel like I walk on eggshells around him because I never know when he may explode again. He has damaged so much property in our house over his temper. His dad died at 49 from a heart attack and my husbands sisters tell me that he is worse than his dad. Why do I feel so guilty that I have ruined my kids life by kicking their father out? And why do I consider taking him back for the sake of keeping a "family" intact? Am I crazy or should I just continue on the path of divorce and know my kids will be better for it?

Simple ultimatum..... GET HELP OR GET OUT. You dont need someone abusive around you or your kids. Im not saying leave him, but if he dosent want help, leave.If he does, see to it that he seeks help from a psyc. doctor. you and your kids safety is worth more than anything. Good luck, keep us posted.

You think it is better to have an abusive father than no father. Think about it . I think like stoner said either get help or get out. I am sure your kids will understand.

"I have two small boys (7 & 3) and I just feel so guilty to have asked their father to leave"

What?

OK I know I'm not the only one but I was in your kids' shoes when I was young. I resented my father for all the abuse but I also resented my mother for not doing anything about it. Your children have no control over your husband or the situation. But YOU do. Do not stay and give him an ultimatum -- he's gonna lie. Leave.

Thanks to my "family", at 2 years old I had so much anxiety I developed a stutter and had to see a therapist. If you want to know more, PM me.

I'm worried about your safety now. With that kind of temper, if he doesn't get his way then you may be in trouble. This man needs serious help and you can't give it to him. Only and until he was medicated and stable for a while would I even consider being around him. You need counseling for you and your kids to help with what you and them have had to live through. You are being abused, do not let him come back home. You and the children do not need to walk on egg shells and try to please an abuser who will never be pleased. Make sure he stays out and goes for help. I wish you the strength to stay strong and not go back. Thank of your children, please. Best wishes to you and welcome to the group.

hello my name is vicky i know how you feel i lived with my husband for 11 years and he abused me mentualy and physicaly and so i know how you feel i can tell you some horrow storys about my husband and what he done to me. so if you want to talk send me a message. hang in there you and your kids are better off being alone without him. thanks vicky

I have to agree with everyone here. GET HELP OR GET OUT! There is no reason you should suffer this way nor your children. Children should not be afraid of their parents.

Have you ever heard the song 'Stay' by Sugarland? I suggest you go to you tube and listen to it. You are strong enough to do what needs to be done. You draw on the strength from within.

It's sounds cliche, but listen to the song.

mommyof2boys, please, please, please leave the dangerous situation. The ultimatum sounds like a good idea, but if there's a history of lying. . .I grew up watching my aunt be abused. It was not right. They had many children, and unfortunately followed the footsteps of their father-- the bad qualities. The kids have grown up ill-adjusted. It's freakin hard to leave. Trust me. My first kid's father was physically abusive and it took me 2 yrs to leave finally and we don't have contact. We weren't even married and it was tough. I can't imagine how it would be. For ur boys sake, changes have to come. If ur husband won't bring the change, u gotta. I wish u the best of wishes!

You need to pick up your children leave and not look back. There places you can go to where he won't find you. You just need to contact law enforcement, social services, or a clergy member. They don't readily give out addresses of these places.