Bipolar Support Group

i'm having the worst time at work today. things haven't been going very well and i didn't expect it to be fun, but i actually feel sick about it. i don't want to be here. i didn't come in friday (it's my own business so i can do that) so i forced myself to come in today. it may have been a mistake. i'm so filled with anxiety. i have constant butterflies in my stomach. nothing is going right. i've been having a hard time anyways and i have an appointment with my pdoc tomorrow, but i could really use some support to help me get through the day. i feel like crawling under my desk and dying and my secretary isn't here today so i'm all alone in this quiet office...help!

Zinnia I am sorry to hear you are having a rough day. It is tough sometimes for me too, I worry about my daughter constantly and I worry that she may have another episode while I am at work. I also worry about my fiance because he is an hour and a half away and sometimes his mania causes him to do really irresponsible things. So I know the feeling of worry ad sometimes even dread. We are here for you.

Sending some positive thoughts your way Z. Hang in there. You can do it!! RAH RAH RAH **jumps up and down with pom poms!****

Big Hugs ((((((((HUGS)))))))))

you can make it through the day Zinnia {{{hugs}}} we're all here with you. have you got a radio or something to play music so you don't feel so quiet and alone there

when i'm at work and i don't want to be there i clock watch and count down the time untill i go home, every minute at work is another minute closer to going home.

Zinnia, I'm sorry things are still so rough for you.. and I'm SO glad you have that appointment tomorrow. Do you have many clients today or are you in the office literally by yourself for most of today?

in office literally by myself most of the day. i'll never make it the whole time. i'm going to leave and go grocery shopping (another thing i just hate) and then i'm going to pick up my kids, but i can't leave until about 12:30 or so because i do have one client coming in. i have a radio but it was so cheap it doesn't seem to get any damn stations. i hate this. why is it so hard to just do what i have to do during my day? i don't know whether to just sit down and cry or throw up. i just know i feel like everyone and everything is pushing me to the edge and i don't know how much more i'm supposed to take. i'm trying to think of things to be grateful for. the bills are paid right now. my kids are healthy. my family is loving and supportive. still, i keep coming back to this awful feeling of dread i have. the anxiety is killing me and it feels like i'm shaking all over inside. i'm so tired of hiding behind this mask. it's just too exhausting.

Zinnia, I know it sucks right now. Just meet with your client and get the hell out of there. You only have another 30-45 minutes, I know you can make it!!!!

Zinnia, first thing to do is to stop and take several deep breaths, inhale to the count of 4 exhale to the count of 4, do this for about 3 or 4 minutes. Breathe deep and have you stomach move not your chest. after that plat your shopping trip to the detail. Plan your time in the store visialize everything you are going to get. When you get to the store deep breathe before going in. The deep breathing will allow you to regain control of yourself and preplanning the shopping trip will limit you exposure to negative feelings. Bless you and try breathing it works.

thanks for all the help. i met with the client and that's as far as i got. i went shopping and never went back to my office. i hate it there when i'm feeling really down. now i feel like a loser because i can't even hang in there for the whole day til i pick my kids up at 3. how hard can it be? really hard for me i guess because i couldn't do it. just want to be home.