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04/26/2009 05:14 PM

Maybe I am meant to be alone forever....

Nothing

My boyfriend and I moved in together about three months ago. Our six month anniversary is coming up, and we have been fighting more and more and more. I am starting to think that I am meant to be alone forever. I can never find someone who can handle my mood swings, and deal with me, when I am emotional, or when I am really manic, and it seems im never calm just long enough for anyone to adjust or anything.

I have just been thinking, maybe I am meant to be alone forever, and not have anyone but myself, that way I can't really mess up anyone else life but my own.

I don't want to be alone forever. I love him so much, but I am not sure what else to think anymore. I Love him, I just wish my bipolar didn't mess everything in my life up, even my love life!

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04/26/2009 07:10 PM
lonelynohope

i know what you mean. seems like we continuously sabotage our lives. which only exacerbates the negative feelings we have toward ourselves.

04/26/2009 07:29 PM
mechjockusa
mechjockusa  
Posts: 2775
Senior Member

I feel as you do, I feel i am meant to be alone. My last girlfriend was 20 years ago. Now it is just me and my cat babydoll. Anytime i start getting close my bipolar goes off, either sending me into mania or a deep depression and i lose the attentions that i seek. Or i get angry and scare them off. I have yet come to how solving these issues will make it better for me because the next person comes along and i scare them off to.

04/26/2009 09:03 PM
jennywren
jennywrenPosts: 3195
Senior Member

Don't know really "Nothing try Something" Smile

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But I would not give up just yet. You appear to know what your probem is. Now is the time to do something about it.

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Being aware of what we are doing is the first thing. Now we can move onto the next and that is looking at changing our behaviour.

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Your meds may need adjusting, or you may find a tdoc very helpful.

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I gather that you are reasonably young, so too early to just give up.

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Now I cannot talk, lived without a permanent man for some years now.

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That is the way I want things. ie I do not particulary need company. Get all I need socially. But I am a lot older now. And do not feel I have missed out on anything.

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But realise that all are not like me and would be very happy with a full time partner.

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JennyWren

Post edited by: jennywren, at: 04/27/2009 12:41 AM


04/26/2009 10:01 PM
ComingUndone
ComingUndone  
Posts: 1452
Senior Member

Yea I understand. I was on and off with my ex for 2 years. I was constantly blaming my bipolar disorder but in all actuality I picked the wrong person and that's why we're not working out. I love him, but it really doesn't matter, because I was miserable thinking everything was my fault and taking on such a large load.

I think that a guy can take on me being bipolar and pull through it all...but I keep picking the wrong ones.

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