Bipolar Support Group

A bipolar manic episode can wreak havoc with our life.

A comprehensive study (W. Coryell- Iowa University-1993) found that that the social and job related effects (and other fallout) from a manic episode can be felt for up to 5 years afterwards.

It is not uncommon for us to have critical relatives (and others) who believe that our changes in behaviour are caused by our character, morals or lack of effort. They also believe that we should have more control over our mood swings than we really do and this can lead to vicious cycles of conflict.

Responsibility (when manic) is a complex issue.

“Degree” (of mania) certainly comes into play here when assessing fault.

We obviously have a responsibility to learn, monitor, manage, medicate and have adequate treatment properly. This is part of our character.

Our GUILT and SORROW emotions are directly related to how we ourselves feel about RESPONSIBILITY. Guilt (and sorrow) is a negative emotion and we should be trying to focus our time and energies on more positive things (and happy things).

I believe we should UNLOAD THE GUILT AND SORROW of our manic actions/damage.

We were not responsible!

It is what it is.

Ray

I agree with you, I take every precaution not to manic cycle but sometimes it happens anyway. I have absolutely no control over it except for a little. Than I try to remember the feelings of others around me and keep it under control just a little bit. I cry afterwards and apologize because I feel so sorry for the things I said or did. Than there are the consequences like shopping and debt. It helps that my husband understands that I dont have much control over myself during these manic episodes. He can tell just be watching me. Sometimes he helps me catch it before it goes out of control by gently letting me know I'm having an episode. He reads about bipolar alot. When I apologize to him he says what for. That melts my heart. I'm very lucky to have someone who loves me good and bad and supports me no matter what. And educates himself about bp.

I avoid spending sprees after I racked up over $20,000 worth of credit card debt during several manic episodes. I've instituted some plans in order to ensure that it never happens again. My sister also helps. If I happen to be manic and need to go grocery shopping, I ask her to do it for me so that I don't overspend. I also limit myself to $25/week. If I do something to hurt others, I apologize, take them out to dinner and/or buy them a card. So far, this has worked well and in the 3 years I've had bipolar, I haven't lost a relationship I've had yet. I still have problems with mania, but I've just been put on a new med regimen which looks promising.

I feel that we don't have to apologise for our manic actions.

I still think we need to go to people and explain though, after all it can affect relationships in both family and the wider world.

Most people have little or limited knowlege of our complex illness so explaining is a necessary role for a balanced life.

Ray

This is only for me and it may not work for everyone. I do take responsibility for my actions when manic or depressed. I own them and make them part of who I am. They are part of me, they are not outside of me or something that has been done by my body when I didn't have control of it. They are part of me. And at every point in time I had a choice. A choice to turn back, to seek help. I've been doing this a very long time. Most of my life and I'm not that young. Then once I've owned these things I can do what I need to do to fix them. I feel guilty for things I've done and in order to stay sane I hve to get rid of that guilt and for me I can't just say I wasn't responsible. So, I make amends where necessary. Tell a friend I'm sorry for what I said. Tell a lover I'm sorry for what I did. Pay off a debt. Pay closer attention to a neglected child. Those have been my "sins" when manic and depressed. Luckily I haven't done any crimes. I did get psychotic once and heard a voice that told me to do things. But he didn't tell me to kill people thank god. He did tell me to marry my second husband, though. That didn't turn out well, as you can imagine. That is how I am responsible for myself. I don't claim that it will work for everyone but maybe it's similar for some of us.

Yea if I remember anything I do damage control.

Rhonda,

I can relate to your experience of hearing voices. When I had my first manic/psychotic episode in 2006, none of them (I heard up to 20 different voices) told me to harm anyone thank goodness. They only commanded me to hurt myself. They said the media was after me. I also heard the voice of someone who claimed to work for the FBI and was watching me as well as commenting on everything I did. Given how paranoid I was, I stayed in the house and closed the blinds. I'm just glad that horrible episode is over.

Post edited by: neondreams, at: 04/25/2009 10:23 PM

I had a friend that I called in a manic state and said some things I totally regret. I don't know what I said but I wrote an apology letter to her explaining I was manic. I found out she wrote a note by her phone that says if she ever feels weak and forgiving towards me remember blah..blah..blah. She never spoke to me again. I found this out from my brother. To this day I never found out what I said. I feel so ashamed because I can just imagine..she knew I was bipolar but I guess she really didn't understand.

I take responsibility too, I think its much easier to forgive ourselves when we own what we have done. I do however hold my support team accountable for letting go to far into an episode where I dont know what is going on, thats what they are there for and I need to be able to trust their judgement. That sounds bad, I hold them accountable meaning you know I needed help and did nothing, in the future when this happens this is what needs to be done... Thank you for looking out for me I really appreciate it.