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04/23/2009 08:37 AM

My husband is in denial he has bipolar

Posts: 1

my husband who is a police officer denies he has bipolar and refuses treatment. I am a nurse and we have 3 small children. I am about to leave him if he doesn't get treatment because this is unhealthy for me and the kids. I don't know what to do. It's not good to leave someone with his condition, no treatment and a gun!!

04/23/2009 09:00 AM
Posts: 124

Was he diagnosed by a Pdoc or do you think he has it?

04/23/2009 03:03 PM
Posts: 2775
Senior Member

you really did not allow us much to work with, bit i intend to try. Him being bipolar and a cop, well not a good mix. I beleive that if he admits to having the disease, then he feel he will lose his job, who wants a phycso armed and running the street. He may have to give his job up, and that would suck. whatelse can he do in his mind nothing. what else is he going to i guarentee that is in his mind as well. something is going to have to happen for him to accept his fate. You may not be it. maybe waking up to his gun by his head will do it, maybe not. he will realise he cannot run will take time that is all. Please support him as much as possible even if it is from a distance. i am sure deap down he loves you he is just fighting more than he can bear right now.

04/24/2009 05:27 AM
Posts: 15

Dear mskaos81;

I can offer a little on this since I have both a fiance that flirts with denial of her condition and a father who was a cop for a long time. My dad was not only a cop, but an alcoholic cop. Which meant nasty mood swings, nasty behavior. He was everything you could imagine a bad bipolar session might be. But he was not bipolar. It was the combination of the job and the alcohol. Horrible. And he was far from alone. Each and every one of his fellow officers that I met, were in a similar boat. When my fiance is in one of the angry-mean states I see him. Yes, clear as day. So I guess what I am offering is this; That job destroys so many men, its a sad, frustrating battle that they see themselves losing every day. Perhaps there is a substance abuse aspect to this along with the classical depression shared by most police officers. If so, there is hope that getting into a program might be key. It certainly isnt any easier to get an alcoholic to admit the disease, but it is a more "established" path for officers and they can be amazing at supporting each other with that effort.

Hope that helps a little


04/24/2009 06:18 AM
taurusPosts: 2893
Senior Member

It sounds like he's not going to listen to you and not going to get treatment. He's probably afraid of losing his job because they don't take cops with mental illnesses. It's to dangerous because they carry guns and are in very dangerous and stressful situations.

You do need to support him and let him know you love him. If you feel the need to move out than do so. You are the only one who can judge your situation.

He probably will get help when he hits rock bottom, I just hope he doesn't hurt anyone in the process.


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