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02/16/2008 11:05 PM
NorthPolar
NorthPolarPosts: 55
Member

I would like to propose the following issue:

"I am never right. I have no opinion of any worth. I just can't seem to get anything right. I am never right. Whatever I do, it's just not good enough."

Sound familiar? Sometimes I think I just don't matter in my own house. If I can not be allowed to voice my opinion and at least get an uh huh, then what? Sometimes it just feels like I have to feel guilty and/or give in to my spouse for anyone to be remotely happy.

-North

Live on. Live well. Endure.
Reply

02/16/2008 11:28 PM  Top
carmen33
carmen33
 
Posts: 8702
VIP Member

Hey North, all of what you said is wrong, you should not be treated like this, just because you have the illness of bipolar doesn't make you any less a person, entitled to respect, care and concern, you have opinions and they count.. you have nothing to feel guilty about, nor should you have to give in to your spouse.. their being happy is their own concern, you can not make another happy or unhappy, it's up to their reaction to something to do it..
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."


http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/02_diagnosis.html#soft
http://www.mdjunction.com/hidradenitis-suppurativa
http://www.mdjunction.com/diabetes-type-1
http://www.mdjunction.com/diabetes-type-2
http://www.mdjunction.com/bipolar-type-ii

02/17/2008 02:23 AM  Top
Beccaboo
Beccaboo
 
Posts: 431
Member

Carmen is completely right. You DO matter! Never let anyone make you think you don't!

02/17/2008 11:23 AM  Top
Gypsy
Gypsy
 
Posts: 1646
Senior Member

Hi,

I felt like that before, I got diagnosed. I would go into a depression and hide out and feel like a failure. I felt like giving up. After, I got help, my self esteem dropped. My boyfriend would blame every issue, I had on my illness. I felt like, I wasn't include in my family. I blamed him for shutting me out. I had pushed everyone away.

Going to therapy really helped to figure out what was my bipolar, and what was my own feelings. I learned that my feelings, and opinions were valid. I finally started sticking up for myself. I am a person with a disorder. I am still a good mom, a good person, and I don't need someone elses approval to be okay. Just because, I have bipolar doesn't mean, I am incapable.

God Bless,Gypsy

Previous discussions I participated in:
Lithium
living with a bi polar person
pschotic features

02/17/2008 11:43 AM  Top
norma
normaPosts: 10109
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Smile WAY TO GO GYPSY!!!! That is such a good point, i think we all have the right to our feelings. Looking to others to validate our feelings is something i have done because it is difficult to know what is real. Developing judgmnent about what is true and what is not is a skill. Trusting my own judgment.

Could this dialogue you describe be disorder generated.

When I am not feeling well i have found that i start to have a negative dialogue. Learning how to combat this dialogue has helped me. When i have feelings of worthlessnes I try to think of the good things I do, all the small successes I have during the day.

Also, I try not to take myself too seriously, you know by having a sense of humor about me. Yep, I am goofy at times, and make mistakes but, i just keep in there stumbling, and falling, getting back up, and keep on, keeping on.

Comments made by me are from my own experience and they are my opinion alone, whose intent is only to share that opinion and not to give medical advice nor discourage from seeking medical help. Medicine is best left to the professionals that is what they do.
"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.

Rest in Peace, Gloria...you will be missed.

02/17/2008 01:22 PM  Top
Lustrious

Northpolar,

I am sorry you are being made to feel that your opinions don't count and being made to feel that you have nothing of value or substance to offer. Know that this is so untrue!

Everybody has feelings and everybody has the right to have those feelings validated. Disorder or no disorder our feelings are very real to us and we are entitled to our feelings and opinions and as such others have no right to minimize or discount our feelings or opinions! I used to hear quite often after I would express the way I was feeling "Oh - don't be rediculous" or "Thats stupid" etc... I got so sick and tired of being told those things that one day I finally got up in 'grump's' face and said, "Who the hell do you think you are to deny me my feelings! They are mine and are very real - just as the way you feel is real to you!" You know what? It worked - I had to say it a few more times but he finally got the picture!

If pointing it out to them does not change things - trying giving them a spoonful of their own medicine Wink

You deserve to be treated with respect and to have your feelings, thoughts, and opinions validated!!!

Hugs,

Lustrious


02/17/2008 02:22 PM  Top
NorthPolar
NorthPolarPosts: 55
Member

I am not bipolar but I often feel alone because I lose sight of the eternal perspective. I keep thinking that I will be very blessed for taking care of such a precious woman in my life. I think all the blessings are waiting for me when this life is done and we are in Heaven together cured of all disease and disorders. It's just a short life time and I am doing my best to institute eternity into our relationship. I just feel that I am failing in some aspect that slows our progression as a couple.
-North

Live on. Live well. Endure.

02/17/2008 11:20 PM  Top
carmen33
carmen33
 
Posts: 8702
VIP Member

Your not failing your just expecting to much of yourself, we are here to learn, to grow, and to love each other, if you are doing a little of these each day, there is no way you can fail.
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."


http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/02_diagnosis.html#soft
http://www.mdjunction.com/hidradenitis-suppurativa
http://www.mdjunction.com/diabetes-type-1
http://www.mdjunction.com/diabetes-type-2
http://www.mdjunction.com/bipolar-type-ii

03/16/2008 01:54 AM  Top
NorthPolar
NorthPolarPosts: 55
Member

Thank you for your support.
-North

Live on. Live well. Endure.
Reply

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