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04/20/2009 07:07 PM

Any suggestions?

jade21
jade21  
Posts: 532
Member

Hi everyone,

So I did something today that was kinda out of the ordinary. Not the depressed "jade" that I know. So I stepped out of the box a little, and I am wondering if any of you experience symptoms of bipolar(mania) when you do things differently? You know, do things that help you change for the better. For the longest time I have felt- as long as Im down, I will be safe, for there is no manic bs. But I don't want to continue that, but How do you avoid mania, without avoiding life?

I don't know if any of this is making sense.

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04/20/2009 07:19 PM
mehlisue
 
Posts: 519
Senior Member

I have considered this also. I am working on out ward projection when I am manic. By this I mean that I focus my energy in others who need assitance. For instance, I have a neighbor who has four children. Who can keep up with them? LOL But when manic, I can get child like, roll in the dirt and grass and run around.

Or I found that when I am manic, I am highly verbal and alert, so I work on a book I have been involved in writting for a few months. The thoughts flow quickly and to be honest I enjoy reading my work when I am not manic.

But the point is to focus on what is good for others and move outside of myself and use the energy as constructively as I can.

When I am pissy manic, I move into the garden to pull weeds, they dont have a clue I am angered or in a nasty state and it saves all around me from my mouth. And face it, no one is going to come and join me in the garden pulling weeds. LOL

With bipolar you will never be able to avoid the mania, it is part of the disorder, but you can work on a constructive manner to vent or react that not destroy your relationships around you.

Post edited by: mehlisue, at: 04/20/2009 07:23 PM


04/20/2009 07:28 PM
neondreams
neondreams  
Posts: 7297
VIP Member

As has already been stated, you can't avoid mania, so your only other alternative is to deal with it the best you can. What I like to do when I'm manic is to write (I'm currently writing a book about my experiences with bipolar and psychosis), surf MDJ as a way of supporting others and volunteer my time to the local indepedent living center for the deafblind as well as my church. When I'm towards the middle or end of a manic episode, I become extremely agitated and severely depressed, so this is when I lock myself in the house in order to avoid people. I need to do this because if I don't, I end up hurting alot of people I care about.

04/20/2009 07:31 PM
jade21
jade21  
Posts: 532
Member

Yeah that is good advise, thank you. I know it does help to help others.

I just want to avoid the delusional mania. I went through that a couple of years ago, and it freaks me out that anything like that would happen again. I take my meds, but is that enough?


04/20/2009 07:39 PM
neondreams
neondreams  
Posts: 7297
VIP Member

jade,

You may not be on the right meds or their dosages may need to be tweaked. I've been hearing voices 24/7 since 1991 and it wasn't until my pdoc put me on Risperdal along with Clonazepam that my voices stopped. I'm now able to enjoy not having to experience auditory hallucinations all of the time. Now I only hear voices whenever I'm stressed, manic or depressed.


04/20/2009 07:44 PM
jade21
jade21  
Posts: 532
Member

I told myself I would go to the doctor at the first signs of mania, to get on a higher dose. WELL, the signs come and go lately, so I havn't yet. Mabye I am too wrapped up in worring about it. I don't know.

04/20/2009 07:52 PM
mehlisue
 
Posts: 519
Senior Member

Try not to focus on what was, and focus on what can be. Do you see a therapist to work out and verbalize your concerns about your disorder? I find this so helpful for myself as it gives me a outside opinion of support to help direct me when I am a bit out of touch which can happen. I can also suggest something that helped me and maybe it might help you.

My times of delusions were so intense that it seemed like I was in vision of horror movies all the time. My dreams were so distorted that it was scary.,

I used to pray in tears of agony that the thoughts would go away. I myself had chosen not to be medicated, it was a personal choice, and instead I chose to deal with the delusions in a different manner. I could not stop the delusions from happening, but I could change the way I reacted to them.

I became angered that the delusions of horror were there and one night I said, Okay, you want to mess with me, then lets go, we are going to be very rich now. Steven King could not write a better book or make a scary movie like Im having, so lets see if we can be the next Steven King.

I wrote every thing I say and experienced and placed myself as the audience watching a movie. I removed my in other words from it being a personal fear into a viewer of a movie.

For me, the delusions now do not have power over me to scary me and this for me was more than half the battle. I am experiencing a great reduction, maybe one ever other month now. Of course this means that the next Steven King book will not be written as quickly. LOL but it is a relief for me.

At least the fear is gone now and for me, that made the delusions more vivid and reoccuring.

It might be of help to you to try it. Who knows it may work for you also.


04/20/2009 08:01 PM
jade21
jade21  
Posts: 532
Member

No I don't have a consistant therapist. But it would be nice sometimes. But most the times I hate therapy.

I like your idea of writing. I like to paint or draw it out usually.


04/21/2009 07:01 AM
mehlisue
 
Posts: 519
Senior Member

What I have found is that the more you try to suppress or fear anything, the more power it has over you. I give you a truth that few people really know. The mind is a powerful thing. The body and mind want to heal and be well. I think of the delusions like I would think of dreams. It is my powerful mind that dreams to release inner conflict and thoughts that I am not consious of. My grandfather taught me when I was very young to interact with my dreams and take control of them. I would wake from a night mare and he would have me tell him the entire thing. Then he would ask me, how would you have liked to see this out come or dream different. Instead of the monster chasing me, I wanted to chase the monster and make it run away so it would not bother me. He would tuck me back into bed and say, now go put on you scary face and go back and scare him away, be stronger than your dreams.

He was just a old Indian farmer in Missouri, but he knew how to concur just about everything.

As an adult I have sense learnt that dreaming is necessary and very normal to the human mind. It is the way we deal with inner conflict while we sleep and as the mind process the information we have colleced all of our lives. We are not even aware of the dreams the majority of the time. REM sleep is so necessary to good mental health.

I find for myself that delusions are an extention of dreaming in the mind. With the bipolar DNA disorder, the dreams are much more intense and fuled by hormones and chemicals in our body and thus because of their manifestation, it is a symptom of mental health that needs to be treated.

I realize and admitt that it is not normal to have delusions and that in the bipolar they are proplamatic when they appear out of no where and when we are awake. Medication in many people is necessary to correct the DNA disorder in our body that causes the delusions.

What I offer to you is what my grandfather taught me, dreams are ours to control or we can decided to allow them place in fear and they control us.

Even if you have to have medication to take that control, it is you who is powerful and strong to over come them and not to be afarid of them which fules them even more.

Every one of us here finds our own way to cope with this physical disorder, and we accept that it is not our fault that this has occured to us. Just as we would not find fault with someone who developed cancer or other illnesss. It is just the human body that has a flaw. There is no judgement that should ever be given to any person who suffers from a illness as if they are in some manner wanting to be ill. How much of your illness do you cosider to be a fault and have shame of? I had to deal with this also myself and I had to stop trying to hide it in my own shame thinking it was some how my fault.

The outside world is not able fully yet at this point to have compassion on the mental disorders as they do a handicapped person in a wheel chair. Because of this, we fear how others view us and again we give power to the fears and they just get stronger.

Don't add fear to your medical disorder ever. Do not fear that others will find you in a state of delusion. Heck, I tell them I am in the middle of writting a script and just working it out.

Do you know how many people want to then hear the story. Just by venting the "story" to them, they can not help it, they have to add to it in excitment as the story develops. Every one has a bit of the writter in them. LOL But what this does is show you that all humans have a vivid imanation and are able to call up graphic thoughts. Writters do it ever day. The only difference is that they have not been labeled with a medical condition....YET. LOL

This has lead me to not fear the thoughts and when they do start to drift in, I grab the pen, turn on the PC and at times I walk around with a small tape recorder and say, "Okay, lets see what you have got today."

The best thing about this internet site is that no one here will judge you in a negitive light. All here are honest and open and realize that we need human interactions. By all means, vent here as well, keep in contact with others that you have no fear of. Find a therapist to connect to. I have gone threw several until I found one that clicks with me and I can work with and feel comfortable with and who offers sound advice and I trust will be honest with me when I get a bit out of contact with reality. I trust her in this and because she is not family, or some one I love, she has no agenda for me other than a support and with my best interest in mind.

If you want, you can email me with your stories if you want them private. But I dare believe that you will find that just by bringing out the thoughts and the fears of the delusions, will help relieve your anxiety over them.

Here for you.

Melinda

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