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04/10/2009 09:03 AM

Obsessed with my husband...HELP!

ladyreese
ladyreese  
Posts: 9
Member

I've been married for a year and a half and I am COMPLETELY OBSESSED with my husband! All I want to do is be around him! All day, every day! When I'm with my friends, I never have that good of a time because I'm constantly thinking about him! When I'm with him I feel so safe and it's as if nothing in the world exists. But with this disorder everything does. It may seem odd, but this is my reality.

My obsession with him has gotten so bad for him that we're divorcing. Although I really dont want to, I want him to be happy so I think it's for the best. At times I'm so mean to him and I'm really combative. I want to love him on a normal level where he can feel loved and not feel smothered and afraid of me and my mood swings. He's the greatest gift GOD could have given me, but I cant even show it through the ups and downs of this disorder.

I havent been clinically diagnosed with bipolar disorder but I know I have it! I have all the symptoms to the highest power! If u have any advice, please help me... I'm desperate!

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04/10/2009 10:04 AM
niecy440

I'm sorry your going through a divorce. I think it is somewhat normal to wanna be around your husband all the time, especially in the beginning. But every couple needs some healthy time apart even if you don't enjoy it. I would say for you to see a doctor about being bipolar and take care of your mood swings. Work on yourself first and he may come back around. Sounds like you want the best for him. You need to want the best for yourself like getting help for this disorder. Once you're stable on meds you may feel better about the obsession part of the equation. He could come back around once he figures out your not going to chase him. He may need to know about the bipolar so he can understand where your mood swings came from. If he knows your getting help for your problem it may make him feel better about the whole thing. Welcome to the group.

04/10/2009 10:14 AM
alisha1984
alisha1984  
Posts: 55
Member

i agree with the post above me 100%. but I'm not sure he's ready for BP at all he doesn't understand the disorder enough so stick it out for better or worst. I'm sorry hun he's just not the one for you. u should go see someone about this

04/10/2009 11:30 AM
ladyreese
ladyreese  
Posts: 9
Member

Honestly, my husband is a REALLY REALLY REALLY good man! I honestly mean that! He has been through hell and HOT water with me. He's read books, he's attempted to work with me and do everything it takes to make me happy. Time and time again I would still fight with him for stupid reasons. It's so much more than just the obsession with him. I basically ruined his life and it drives me ABSOLUTELY INSANE! We talked last night and he's actually trying to help me. I wasnt expecting him to do that because of all the hurt I caused him but he is. I emailed him some articles about people who've dealt with bipolar spouses and he read ALL of them! I was shocked! He was so attentive to me, he listened and catered to my sorrows. It was amazing1 He is a REAL man! Whether or not our marriage will be salvaged is up in the air. But him being there for me was what I needed.

04/10/2009 11:56 AM
rmm164
rmm164  
Posts: 2316
VIP Member

Do you have a therapist or a psychiatrist? I think you need to get some help for yourself. It sounds like you are ready. If you go get some help it might all fall back into place since he wants to be there for you. Welcome to the group, I hope you find some answers and support here.

04/10/2009 12:20 PM
ladyreese
ladyreese  
Posts: 9
Member

Thank u so much! I am ready for help! I need it! I havent found a psychiatrist yet but I'm actively seeking one.

04/10/2009 12:26 PM
jsrdrnr
jsrdrnr  
Posts: 1928
Senior Member

Unfortunately, until you are getting treatment things will never change. I tried to do the whole thing on my own but it almost caused the divorce of my husband and I. It was at that point that I went and got help, again. He said he would ride it out for a while longer b/c I was doing something to help me and ultimately both of us. Our relationship is really great now. I used to be obsessed like you but I am not now. He can go hang out with friends and I am fine with it. I can hang out with my friends and I am fine with it. That is just my two cents worth.

04/10/2009 12:46 PM
ladyreese
ladyreese  
Posts: 9
Member

Oh wow! Thanks! I'm so glad I found this site! U going through the same thing as me and it working out after treatment is a load off my shoulders! That helps me know that this is not forever, I can beat this! About a year ago I took some anti-depressants for 3 days and they made me loopy and I felt like I wasnt there so I stopped taking them. I want to get help. I am SOOOOOOO ready 4 help! I just really dont know where 2 start.

Post edited by: ladyreese, at: 04/10/2009 12:51


04/10/2009 01:16 PM
jsrdrnr
jsrdrnr  
Posts: 1928
Senior Member

I am glad that you found this site too. You can beat this and you can lead a "normal" life. It may take a bit of time for it all to work out but there is hope. It takes time b/c finding the right combo of meds can be a bit hard. The key is to hang in there and to really communicate what is going on with your doctor. As far as where to start. The first thing I would do is go to moodtracker.com and get an account. Track your moods daily. That way when you have your appointment with your therapist/pdoc you will have some info to give them. Then I would call around and find a therapist and a Pdoc (psych doc). A good therapist and pdoc are key to your success. I actually went to my church and got into their pastoral care program for my therapist. It is low cost and I love my therapist. My pdoc works for a local christian psych place. I have found a good combo right off the bat, but dont be surprised if you have to "shop around" a bit. You need to connect with your therapist and pdoc. Most out there are good but there are a few that you may just not click with. If this happens for you, dont give up hope, just find someone else and try again till you click with someone. You will know when the match is right. I hope that helps get you started. Just remember, you are not alone and there is indeed hope.

04/10/2009 05:33 PM
ladyrb
ladyrb  
Posts: 513
Member

I went through that too. I wanted to know who he was with, who he talked to, where he was and everything, I did put him through hell and back and he stuck with me. Now it is like we talk about everything and don't need to know his every move. I hope your husband stands by you and you get help. It really helps when you are getting meds for your problem.
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