Bipolar Support Group

Hi everyone,

I've been hypomanic for the past 4 days. For the most part, it has been a positive experience for me. I didn't crash and only experienced one day where I cycled between hypomania and agitation.

Today I'm starting to feel level, but I'm missing my mania.

Do any of you feel the same way after you come down from a hypomanic or manic episode? I *always* seem to have problems with this 2-3 days after my mood starts to level out.

I do Neon, I miss it because it's like a drug only it's the best high I ever had. If you aren't careful you can become addicted to them. That's why alot of people won't take their meds.

taurus,

It's ironic you should say that because I e-mailed a counselor I've known for a long time to ask her if it was common for people with bipolar to miss their mania and she said yes -- it was very common and the number one reason why they don't take their meds.

I'd never go as far as not taking my meds (been there, done that), but I still end up missing my mania just the same. I always go through this 2-3 days after a hypomanic or manic episode.

Right now I'm feeling flat, but I'm trying to remind myself that it's better than being extremely agitated or severely depressed.

Yeap Neondreams, this is what I am busy asking myself at present. ie which is the better way to go, ie a bit of enjoyable hypomania (trouble is it appears I go manic - but I like that as well, well think I do. Trouble is I could self harm.

But then of course have down times, which are not like staying in bed all day, but due to the mixed states are particually uncomfortable.

While on meds there are the side effects, thus at present trying to see which way I would perfer to be. ie with meds or without meds.

Oh, Neondreams I have read a bit more about Atypical Bipolar in that book and it is interesting. I will read it properly and key some of it to you in a private message. You mentioned your symptoms very closly to what they are saying in the book. I am not too sure if they are referring to those who have been compremised by damage to brain, ie strokes MRI hypersentive spots. Thus I need to check.

Trouble is with the after effects of the Seroquel I cannot read anything for half the day and make sence out of it

JennyWren

Jenny,

Meds or no meds is a very difficult choice to make. I hope you're able to find some resolution that you're comfortable with.

I would appreciate it if you could share any information you have with me about atypical bipolar. Information on the Internet is severely lacking and I can't seem to find any resources.

It's interesting that you should mention brain damage because I was born prematurely and almost died twice. I only weighed 2 pounds and doctors questioned whether or not I would experience severe brain damage as well as profound congnitive delays. I was given very high levels of oxygen which may account for my initial difficulties learning math in elementary school. As it turned out, my intelligence did not suffer as a result. I'm considered gifted and qualify for MENSA, so I really don't know what role the lack of oxygen may have played in regards to my intellect or development of atypical bipolar.

By the way, would you mind sending me a PM of symptoms that are indicative of atypical bipolar? Like I've mentioned before, I have auditory hallucinations, delusions, 7 different types of paranoia and rapid cycling.

I miss my hypomania too sometimes. But I don't want to get depressed later on, so I avoid them. I typically only get them if I take over the counter drugs that I know induces them for me, so I have to stay away from such drugs. I use to be addicted to taking them. Most people would not get hypomanic from just herbs and such, but I do.

tw,

That's really interesting that you become hypomanic from herbs. I've never heard of that happening to someone with bipolar before.

I can understand why you prefer to avoid hypomania. I feel the same way when it comes to the extreme anger I experience towards the middle of a manic episode and the severe depression I have towards the end of a manic episode. For me, the only part of my mania that I enjoy is the very beginning when I feel on top of the world, witty, funny, creative and highly productive.

Neon,

If I'm getting close to my edge (where reason ends and mania begins), I can get kicked into mania by things that otherwise wouldn't have such an effect on me.

Anything speedy (herbs, drinks, mega-caffeine doses and many energy packs (like at truck stops), they all help to push me over the edge.

So I may have the disorder, be medicated, and not be smart about what I put in my mouth, and I speak from experience (wisdumb).

Post edited by: scooby, at: 04/08/2009 10:13

When my mood starts to level out, I'm usually too busy looking down the path of destruction I've left behind me. It's definitely not a good feeling, so I've never really been given a chance to miss my mania.

Neon, You have a very valid discussion going on here -for me. I lived as an '80s Super-Mom. I had a child, a career, and you could eat off my floors! There was only one drawer in my house allowed to be messy! I maintained this level of misery for about 15 years before the cracks in the facade were revealed as actual structural compromises! I fell apart!

Now, I appreciate an occasional manic episode to gear up for a calamity, but don't allow myself to indulge in them any longer. It has taken its toll on my mental functions. It is not worth the price of feeling like a person with Alzheimer constantly double checking my memories and wondering what was real and what was manic hallucinations. My short-term memory has been severely affected.

Yes, at one time I did mourn the loss of mania, but no longer.