Bipolar Support Group

This all started with my last therapy session. My therapist spent the last five minutes berating me about how I am making myself depressed, no wonder I am depressed and no wonder my life is depressing.

I saw my pdoc last Friday who has now informed me that there is nothing more that he can do for me and he isn't sure if I actually have Bipolar or just traits of it. This after a year and a half and 22 different medications. I told him what my therapist had said and he ordered that I not see her any longer.

Since then, I have been a complete unstable mess. I am so confused and I physically don't feel right. I'm only on Wellbutrin, Adderall and a little Thorazine. No mood stabilizers. I have no one professionally that I can talk to about this. My pdoc has referred me to a DBT clinic that specializes in trauma (which he thinks is causing all of the symptoms). The waiting list is 2-8 weeks. In the meantime, what the hell am I supposed to do? It's not bad enough that I go to the hospital and there's really no reason for it. They wouldn't do anything with medication because my pdoc is in charge of the psych ward.

Oh and the self-care stuff doesn't touch what's going on with me. The only thing that distracts me is t.v. and online games. Even going to my group on Tuesday night was a nightmare.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I really need help.

It sounds like you need a new pdoc and a new therapist. I I would spend time calling around trying to find an appointment asap. It doesn't sound like you were even diagnosed right from the start - and if your not, the medications can make you worse not better! If all that makes you feel any better is online games and tv. I say do it. On pogo.com you can play free games and meet new people.

Bejeweled is right you definitely need a a new pdoc and tdoc asap. Your therapist should be slapped for saying that to you! You may not be diagnosed right and that's not your fault it's your pdocs fault. Sounds like he got mad because he didn't know what he was doing. Don't you even feel like any of this is your fault because it's their fault. I hope you find pdoc and tdoc soon. PM me if you need to talk. I'm here for you and I'm on your side.

I just got off the phone with my therapist and told her what happened with my pdoc and how I felt about our last session. She apologized and we are having a "separation" session next Monday. She didn't have any other answers for me regarding my pdoc changing his diagnosis. I'm still lost.

I don't know how you could have gone through 22 different medicines in a year and a half. That sounds like a lot. And as for your pdoc saying there was nothing more that could be done for you for bipolar, that's nonsense. There's always some other combination or something. I've tried a ton of medicines and I've been getting treated for 16 years. If I had a dr. that had given up on me after a year and a half I don't know what I would have done. You just need a new one. He's nuts, not you. If you weren't diagnosed right, you need to get diagnosed right. And if you are bipolar, you can find something that will help. There is something. Do what you've got to do to keep going today. Just don't give up.

Well at least you got one thing accomplished and she apologized. Maybe she was having a bad day. I'd be confused to if I was you. THis is temporary, it will pass. Just hang in there until it does. Remember I'm here for you.

To the poster who doubted my pharmaceutical trials, I'd be more than happy to list them all out for you. I've been through hell and back with this and it sounded to me like you doubted my experience.

I've just lost hope of this whole thing and I feel lost and really vulnerable. My pdoc won't believe that it's anything chemical, he thinks that these feelings are all stemming from the situation and not my body. I just want someone to help me.

Well, let me assure you that by taking 22 different meds in a year in a half that ALONE could be your problem. The meds for BP very, very altering. That is the point of course, they attempt to correct an imbalance. A couple of years ago I called a psychiatrist trying to get Katy an appointment. Katy had been given meds by a physicians assistant with absolutely no psychiatric imput or any warning that BP was anything to be concerned about. The psychiatrist was a complete jerk, and I knew 1 minute into the call I didn't want to schedule an appointment with him BUT what he did say I will never forget. He started ranting and this is the just of what he said (I didn't even get to say anything - he was so angry): These idiodic morons that go around using people like human guinea pigs should be taken out in a field and shot. They have no business diagnosing people for disorders of the brain unless they are acutally a doctor that is trained to do that. They certianly have no right to hand out prescriptions for mind altering substaces that, once on, people sometimes can never get off of. These medications are serious buisiness, that alone can cause symptoms of mental illness, they can screw people up if not administered correctly. AND in order to go off of medication, patients MUST be hospitalized. Re-adjustments to meds takes MONTHS!

Misssunflower, I just read an interview with a doctor named Nassir Ghaemie, Director of Psych. at Tufts Hospital and he insisted that mood stabilizers be the first line of treatment for bipolar patients and that they be given adequate time to work. Also, he said that antidepressants and amphetamines trigger mania, then depression, cause the moods always cycle.

Have you ever had any mania or hypomania?

Honey, I wasn't doubting that you'd gone through all those meds, I was doubting that your doc knows what the heck he's doing if he put you through all that in that short of a time. I'm so sorry you took it that way. I never meant it that way. Meds need time to start working and if you went through 22 meds in that time, I don't know how any of them had time to work. That's what I meant. I think you need a new dr. One that doesn't doubt you.