Bipolar Support Group

Hey everyone, it has been awhile. I really don't know what to do?At the end of December, i went off all my medication. Before that tho, I started going down hill and was in the parking lot to admit myself into the hospital for the psych floor. I ended up getting help in the ER and from my reg. Dr. with anxiety meds. I calmed down quite a bit and my anxiety wasn't so high and the suicide thoughts went away. But, the anxiety is still here, I wake up with a nauseated stomach every morning and I am really jittery and I just can't think about anything because of the nausea and the jitteriness. If I don't take anxiety meds I can't eat. I will go all day without eating because I feel so nauseated and sick.

I doubted that I was Bipolar & just didn't want to deal with it I guess?I don't no what happend?I probably never will?My husband didn't think I was bipolar & now he is wondering if I really am?

I went to a GYN and had hormones tested and they are all out of whack. I was thinking OK, maybe this is it?I no hormones can take a long time to get adjusted, but I thought I would find SOME relief. Well, I have fewer crying spells being on the hormone supplement that I am on, so I guess I have found a little relief. The Dr. I was working with gave me a shot of estrogen and progesterone. She said that if hormones were the only case, I should have felt better that same day with the shot she gave me & 3 days later I was needing to add an estrogen patch to it?She never retested my levels and yesterday on the phone she said 'we tried the hormone route and it's not working' and told me that I need to get back with my psych & therapist and reconsider the mood stabilizers. Maybe possibley I have 2 problems combined, the hormones and a mood instability.

I just get so scared of the mood stabilizers, I think I have tried all the non weight gainer meds. I seen a NP at a psych dr that my GYN referred me to and she wanted to put me on Seroquel. I don't have insurance, so it changed matters. She was probably the most hatefulest person I had ever met. She gave me no choice in my healthcare and TOLD me what she was prescribing, she was very strange. And said THIS IS THE MEDICINE FOR YOU, I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT IT, It's and OLDIE BUT A GOODIE!I was like????I think it was Dioxapine or something like that?I ripped up the script so?She refused to give me anxiety medication, knowing that I am completely out and didn't wean myself off. She said that it wasn't healthy for me to be on the anxiety meds and she WAS NOT prescribing. I grabbed the script she wrote, she was writing things on my chart. I asked her if I was done, she said yes. I got up, she looked at me and said 'you don't look happy'?I told her I wasn't and she asked 'What did I expect' & I told her nothing, it didn't matter. She told me to come back and discuss it with her. I told her, No,I didn't have anything else further to discuss with her, I walked out of the door and shut it behind me. I was SO Pissed. I walked out and I was crying. I told the people up front about it and asked if they give refunds because I felt my needs were not met and I didn't get the service I deserved. I told them that she was the most hatefulest person I ever met & I won't be coming back. I told them NO that was nice, she was a complete bitch. Their jaws dropped. The front office was a group of the nicest women I have ever met, and for people that are in charge that were so rude and mean and insensitive, I couldn't even believe that!!!The women in the front felt the same way about the NP in the office as I did, come to find out!The lady at the front desk told me in her own way to recommend seeing the DOCTOR DOCTOR not the NP. She took my cell number, they were going to try to get me in today. I ran out totally sobbing I was crying so bad. One of the ladies in the front came out and met me 1/2 way to my car and gave me a big hug. It was crazy. So then she call back and says he couldn't see me until APRIL 16TH!!!!!!!!!I was like OMG. And told me they weren't charging me for the visit from yesterday and they would shred my check!!!!!!!!!I think that was the first time I had REALLY stood up for myself in a huge way.

I am going back to my normal therapist, I called her yesterday evening. Not knowing what to do. I have an appt with her at 1:00 and I have an appt with my reg. Dr. that had been seeing me for meds. I guess I am going to request a mood stabilizer and I no she will give me more anxiety meds. I am on a anti depressant called pristique, but this is my 3rd week. And the GYN and PSYCH acted like it should already be doing something for me.

I made an appt to this hormone specialist it's going to be a long drive but my hormones are out of whack and I need someone that no's what they are doing. Not by just trying a shot or a patch and saying after a few weeks ITS NOT WORKING?

Anyway, I am so sorry this is so long and I hope SOMEONE reads it. And responds.

Can anyone tell me about Seroquel XR?I read the side effects on their website and I was just like WOW, that doesn't sound good at all?I remember they wanted to put me on Risperdol at one time. I just don't no what route to go. I just no that I need some MAJOR help. I am barely functioning at this point.

Hugs To You All,

Amber

I read it {{{{AMBER}}}...and have missed you. Glad you caught us up to what is going on in your life. Sounds like a rough time. Anti-anxiety meds are bandaids. Remember, Amber, Bipolar Disorder is an imbalance in the chemistry in your brain. It is not your fault, nor is is something that will just go away. Glad you are addressing it by getting back with the therapist and your doctor to find treatment. Love Ya, sweetie...

g

NORMA!Thank you so much, I miss and love you so much I also can't remember my post was so long. I am having trouble sleeping at night. I took ambien a few times and tht doesn't even help me sleep.

I am having a rough time of even guessing on what to ask for to try. Should I just leave it up to them?Have you ever taken Seroquel?I'm just scared to death, but at the same time no that I need it. I have just been a mess for almost 3 months now.

amber--the only mood stabilizer i know of that does not have any really crazy side effects is lamictal. there is now a generic version. i have taken regular seroquel and it has been successful it getting me out of a mixed state and the only side effect i have had is that it makes my legs jerk for about an hour afterwards. i am so sorry to see you have been through so much the last couple of months. i know you must be feeling terrible, but just keep trying to find a solution. it is important that you are comfortable with your docs so it is good you stood up to the NP. good for you! let us know how things turn out!

Have you tried Abilify? It has worked wonders for me. As usual it takes a little bit to get into your system. I felt better after a week of taking it. High anxiety and sleeplessness go hand in hand. Sorry you had such a rough time with your pdoc at least you stood up for yourself. I've found side effects are scary on most mood stabilizers.

Well, Amber I sorry things are not going well. First I was diagnosed when I was nine-teen with Bipolar and am now 27, I do remember in the beginning being scared or rather concerned of the medication and not wanting to take it. there is something you will learn and the sooner the better.... See I still hate taking a hand full of pills. I hate side effects. BUT if I can put something in my mouth that helps with this. Than it becomes such a tiny tiny chore and such a huge blessing. If they can get your meds fixed it takes care of 80% of the illness and I tell you at one time I had 4 years or so of doing the 20% and it sooooo much easier. It will take a while maybe to get the right combo maybe not but hang in there.

A good PDoc is hard to find keep looking. I at last found one I drive and hour and a twenty min to see him but to get the help I need its worth it. Now with the medications I have been on both. They are both anti-psychotics at a low low dose the the Seroquel is used for a sleeping pill. They are both good medications that work for people....for me the Seroquel was too sedating I liked the resperdol a lot there is a newer med called Invaga it is almost just like the resperdol but with fewer side effects. They both helped me a great deal up after taking them I had to stop because of a side effect that occurred. I hope you get things worked out if you need me ever just message.

Lyric

Amber, I know how you feel. Although I've never dealt with a rude doctor, I do have one that seems to not give a shit about me. I looked on my insurance website yesterday and there's only ONE other choice that's near my home.

I've heard so many good things about Lamictal that I'd give it a try if I were you. It did not work for me but then again NOTHING has worked for me. I'm a little weird when it comes to meds.

I also refuse to take any weight gainers so I really understand your point there. Gaining weight just makes the depression worse.

I'm glad to see you're going back to you're therapist. I'm sure that will help you a lot. Please don't be afraid to take meds for your BP. It's just something we have to come to grips with and accept that it will be a life long commitment.

I strongly believe in anti-anxiety drugs. Just like a mood stabilizer, anti-anxiety drugs treat an imbalance in your brain. I have extreme anxiety and am on both Xanax and Klonopin. They help a little, but I don't want to ask for more and look like a drug seeker.

You'll make it through this. See your pdoc, see your therapist, and allow yourself to accept that taking meds is the right path for us. I'll be thinking of you and hoping that you get your life back on track very soon.

AMBER!!! I've missed you Wow, you have been going thru more crap than when we talked last I'm sorry about that! First, that NP was a freakin IDIOT!! You were completely right in what you did, and I'm PROUD of you!! I had changed Pdocs, and was treated poorly, so I switched back to my old one, even tho it is a drive. We deserve to be treated better!!

I tried seroquel, it worked okay, but I was super tired all the time and gained weight. I am on trileptal now, works good, but have had to add abilify now to help out. If you are only on an antidepressent without a mood stabilizer, it will not help you, j ust make you feel worse! Antidepressents for bipolar disorder without moodstabilizers is not good. And antianxiety meds are almost a must have, at least for me!!

I hope you get things worked out, and in April when you see a REAL Pdoc, not that bitch, write down all the meds you are currently taking, how you feel, maybe even start a mood calendar now to help him/her see how you are doing.

I know having BP is a pain, and I have wanted to go off meds more times than I can count, but the one time I did, it was not pretty. Hang in their sweetie, we are in your corner and on your side; come here for support; we have all been there. Keep standing up for yourself!

Love you girl!!!

Thank you all for your support!I appreciate it so much. I went to Dr. and therapist all in one day today. It felt really good to be back & I felt I was in the right place and the right hands. They are all so kind and caring, I don't no what I was doing stepping out looking for someone else?I guess we learn from our mistakes!

The Dr. gave me samples of Seroquel XR 50mg and Klonopin 0.5mg. I'm going to take the Seroquel and night, hoping it will help me sleep. Seeing the therapist, it just felt good to have someone to talk to. And she just genuinely cares, that is the best part. I'm feeling much better today, well this afternoon, I popped one of thos Klonopins in my mouth AWWWH relief. I will get started on the other tonight.

Thanks again for your support,

Amber

I am on 300mg Seroquel at night and it makes me sleep at night which is good because without it I would not sleep at all. I have not gained weight from it and the only side effect I notice is some sleepiness in the morning. Someone said that Lamictal has no heavy side effects but I couldn't take it, it gave me migraines. Every med affects every person differently. I have been on a bunch of them. Amber, I went through the times of doubting I was bipolar and going off my meds. The results were disasterous. I now accept I am bipolar and take my meds everday. I hope you get to feeling better soon.