Children of a Bipolar Parent

Before my ex and I divorced, the illness got the best of him, we discussed how the kids might be affected being raised by me during my illness. He had a close friend who was raised by a bipolar mom and he really hated her for it.

In the four years from diagnosis to full treatment I was a rapid cycling, angry and frustrated woman. I did everything right but finding the right meds is SO hard.

My daughter remembers that dad and I fought all the time, true, and she chose to live with him when she was almost 13, his big idea. My son only recently learned about my diagnosis and what it means. They both accept me without reservation and my daughter has even started paying attention to my triggers when we are in crowds. She is watching out for me and doesn't seem embarrassed. This occurs very rarely and most of the time BP doesn't interfere in our lives.

I don't have symptoms of any significance and when they are with me I am devoted to enjoying them with lots of laughter and love.

My question is this, how do you feel about your bipolar parent? I would actually like to know about families where the parent is taking meds and trying to deal with BP. I am looking for some honest, retrospective feelings about being raised with a bipolar parent.

Dee

I wouldn't trade my Mom for anything, ever. I am SO glad she had me and my siblings.

It is easier to forgive someone actively trying to get help, who can admit when they are wrong (in general, like yes, I was the one who broke your hair brush), and who obviously means well.

None of my relatives ever had full blown BP, except my gr grandfather, and none of them needed treatment. But their lives were significantly more stable in adulthood than my own.

Letting go of my children was an act of faith. Even though it crushed me inside I knew God would take care of us. I don't think I would ever have left my ex, so when he left I eventually realized God was protecting me, but I didn't see this until many years later.

God also stabilized my ex's life. All of our fifteen years together we moved over 18 times and he had countless jobs. Since remarrying he has kept the job he has for seven years and finally bought a house and quit being so irresponsible.

So our children have the stability to grow in a secure and happy home and I couldn't have asked for them to have anything better. When I finally let go, God gave me the resources to get well, and since I had hit rock bottom I needed all the help I could get. If the children were not in a good place I would be sick trying to make it right for them.

Our God is an awesome God!

Dee

My niece is the in the next generation and I have incouraged her relentlessly on keeping herself treated since she had her first child.

I have all but one of my biological children living with me and the one that doesn't is now afraid, with some encouragement from my family, that if she returns I'll relapse. My husband and I have tried to explain that she was not responsible for me being the way I am and that I just had some growing up to do. She has realized to a point that we are right, but she still fears the "mommy monster" and I push my will power to the limits to keep my children safe and stable.

Sometimes it may seem that they will never understand and that they will blame themselves, sometimes they do, but the thing to remember is that as long as you keep trying, never give up hope, and keep being patient they will understand and remain a constant in your life.

Melody

Post edited by: LdyMelody, at: 02/06/2008 14:12