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03/12/2009 01:21 PM

B/F cant handle work child and me with bp.

racob88
racob88  
Posts: 303
Member

i dont know what to do. he doesnt understand as much as he says does. i just wanna be happy, and if i could financially afford to leave him, i think i would. but i love him, he the father of my child, hes a big part of my life. but all he ever does is get stressed when i get upset, which turns into a vicoius cycle. help me someone, i am so confused...
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03/12/2009 01:26 PM
DaniW

If you could afford to financially leave him, you would? That statement says a lot right there. Do you love him or love him as the father of your child?

It is understandable that even though he accepts and understands you and your illness that he would still get stressed... Does he just get stressed or does it escalate into something more than him being irritable?


03/12/2009 01:32 PM
racob88
racob88  
Posts: 303
Member

it's escalated to the point where he wont give me his work number because he scared ill call him alll day everyday..which i think i would do, i get lonely, ya know. if i had the money i would take my daughter and leave him because i cause him so much stress. it wouldnt be about me not loving him, cuz i do. it'd be about causing him less stress..

03/12/2009 02:10 PM
IvyLynn
IvyLynn  
Posts: 21
Member

I can completely understand where you are coming from, I and I sympathize with you. I have the same problem myself sometimes. My husband tries very hard to understand, but sometimes when I "freak" and get into one of my moods whether it be depressed and crying or manic and irritated, or manic and wanting to go out alot he just doesn't seem to be able to deal with it. I can't even understand or even deal with myself sometimes so its hard to expect anyone else to.

It sounds like you have come to terms with your disorder, and I'd say finding the right med(s) for you will help out a ton, other than that you have to learn to recognize when you are in a mood and try to talk yourself down so to speak.

Its very hard, but trust me I just came here a few days ago and everyone is super helpful. You came to the right place.

Good Luck!

Ivy


03/12/2009 02:14 PM
DaniW

Have you discussed your feeling with your b/f? Does he know you would leave him to keep him from being stressed?

03/12/2009 02:45 PM
racob88
racob88  
Posts: 303
Member

no, i'm too scared he would tell me to just leave, then its really hard because my daughter is involved

03/12/2009 02:58 PM
JennyT

If there's one thing that my extended family has taught me, it's that staying together due to a child can cause a good deal of harm. If you genuinely feel that the situation is hurting someone (you, your boyfriend, or your child), then the situation is likely hurting everyone. There will always be hardships in families, especially families with mental illness, but sometimes it goes a bit too far.

I deeply suggest talking to him about your feelings. You seem to feel like you're a burden, and that's not healthy.

I hope that you can figure something out- something that works for everyone. Smile


03/12/2009 03:01 PM
taurus
taurusPosts: 2893
Senior Member

You need to be honest with him. You can't keep this in or you'll explode. That will be bad. When I get sick my husband worried and stresses about what to do to make me happy. It sounds like your husband just feels helpless because he doesn't know what to do to help him. Find a book on bipolar, they have them really cheap on Amazon.com. Take to your pdoc's appt. Include him in your bipolar life. If he wanted you to leave he would've asked you or he would've just left. Be brave and talk to him.

03/12/2009 03:31 PM
racob88
racob88  
Posts: 303
Member

i know, i just asdked him if he wanted me to leave, he said no. he just wants me to get well..

03/12/2009 03:45 PM
taurus
taurusPosts: 2893
Senior Member

That's very sweet of him to say. Include him so he understands and it will help him not to feel so helpless. You sound like you might have paranioa. Are you taking medication for it. What meds are you taking if you don't mind me asking. It sounds like you need to tell your pdoc so he can tweak your meds. You can pm me anytime you need to talk. Good luck, I hope you get better soon.
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