Bipolar Support Group

I will make this somewhat brief (because lord only knows i could write a novel about this particular situation!)

My aunt is very clearly mentally ill. I see bipolar in her but I'm no doctor. She is so much like me when I am not medicated. She has all the hallmarks, and her "manias" are full of screaming and crying and abusiveness towards others. She has deep seated hatred for me and everyone else in our family (including her grown son) because of perceived wrongs we did to her.

Additionally, she lives in utter filth. Her home is packed to the gills with junk (think Hoarders) and there is dog poop and pee everywhere. There is rotting food also. It is definitely a health hazard.

Despite the way she has treated me, I love her. And I can only imagine the hell she is living with untreated bipolar (or whatever it is.) I can't even imagine how painful and difficult life is for her.

She absolutely refuses help of any kind, and continues to believe that the entire world is against her. She continues to be emotionally and verbally abusive to nearly everyone. She is educated in the mental health field yet holds a hard lined stigma against all mental illnesses.

Anyway, the point of this post:

I am seriously considering calling Adult Protective Services on her due to the condition of her house. I am not in any way trying to get back at her - despite the way I act when my meds aren't right, I am not a vindictive person in the least. I don't usually get involved in other people's problems but my heart is breaking thinking about how hellish her world is.

My reasoning is that APS can help her, get her in touch with mental health professionals as well as people who can help her clean her home. Mainly I would like to see her get help for her mental illness and the cleaned up house is just a bonus.

I know that if I make the call, she is going to be livid and it will cause even more problems in our family. But if I don't, I am afraid she will end up in jail or worse. (For instance, she gets mad and texts people with graphic details of how she will hurt them and worse.)

She clearly has delusions and needs help so bad and this is the only way I think that will happen.

Would you make the call, knowing that she will freak out on everyone accusing them of being against her? This may very well make my grandparents stop speaking to me, if they find out it was me who called.... but on the other hand, I think it could help her so much in the long run.

Thinking back on times when you had bad episodes, would you have eventually felt grateful for getting the help, even though you didn't want it initally?

Thanks for any insight... I'm so torn. (I am also going to cross post at the Bipolar/Family group.)

Not that long ago I called the police about someone who was in grave danger of self harm. I knew it was a risk because of the chance they might never speak to me again. As it turned out things were okay afterward and the person was grateful. There is definitely the element of risk, but you have to weigh the consequences of not calling and of calling and decide which outweighs the other. Looking back over my life, I wish someone had intervened. I may not have suffered so much for so long. If you can handle the possibility that your grandparents or other family members might cut you off, then I would make the call. But that is just my opinion. Others will have their's.

I agree with uppitywoman.

You may be able to place the call anonymously. That way no one will ever know who reported her. It sounds like she really needs help.

Big hugs.

I think if you believe they are in real trouble then you should call. I asked myself before I went to the police on my husband, if something happens to my children or someone else would I be able to live with myself. The answer was no. So would you feel guilty if she did something to someone else? This is a big risk, but I always believe everything happens for a reason and maybe the reason I made to have my husband committed save someone's life. I think there is the rish that they will be very angry, god know my husband and his family are still really angry. I can only hope over time they will realize that what decision I made was for the best of everyone.

Yes, if you can do it anonymously, go for it. She will obviously assume it was a family member who called, unless she has many other people in her life that might do something similar? Either way, I would think it is totally worth the risk of angering family members. If you can make any difference at all in her life, maybe one day she will be grateful. At least you tried.

I think if you really believe they are in trouble and taking action will get them help then make the call. It won't be easy but the best thing isn't always the easy thing.