Bipolar Support Group

Hi everyone,

Long time no post. I'm going through a difficult time right now involving one of my best friends and thought I'd share my story here to get other peoples opinions.

Some background on my friends diagnosis: bipolar type II, ADHD, depression, anxiety. On medication to treat all of these things.

For the past few months hes been acting like a complete teenager (he's currently 22). He lives at home with his parents but barely remembers to take his pills or eat.

He's started smoking cigarettes more regularly (something I'm totally against) as well as smoking weed. Hes promised multiple times that he'd quite smoking cigs/weed, but has yet again gone back on his word. When he smokes, his bipolar symptoms really start to show as the cigarettes make his medication much less affective. His doctor has told him multiple times that smoking is one of the worst things he could do.

On Friday (June 29) his mom went to go visit his dad and sister in England for 3 weeks. After promising her he would take this opportunity to show that he can truly take care of himself and that he stopped smoking, he has proceeded to do the exact opposite.

He told me yesterday that he does not plan to quit smoking cigarettes or weed, and that he wants to "go wild" and "be free" while his parents are gone. He has also driven while high.

I am so frustrated and hurt by what he said because I truly thought he was getting better. I have since told him I will not be in contact with him while he continues to do this to himself - in which case he said "okay".

We both go to the same doctor and have been to sessions with eachother before. He has an appt with the pdoc this week and I'm thinking of making one for myself since I've been experiencing a lot of grief over his abuse to himself. His lying has increased ten fold and I can't believe a word that comes out of his mouth now.

My issue is - before his mom left for her trip, she begged me to let her know if something was going on while she was gone. Do I tell her I do not know what is going on in his life because I have removed myself from his? Do I not say anything and let the shit hit the fan?

My worry is that he will get into a car accident for stupid decisions (driving while high) or something of that nature will happen because he won't listen to a word I say (when before he cared greatly about what I said to him).

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you.

I don't know about the cigarettes making the medications less effective. I smoke and I'm stable on medications. What it all comes down to is it being his decision on what he does. It sounds like he doesn't care about a lot. He may be having an episode, you never know. Him not listening to what everyone is saying isn't good. He thinks he is fine. If I were in your shoes, I would tell his mom that I had removed myself from contact with him until he gets help. That is your decision though. I hope he doesn't do anything stupid. I'm sorry that you are having to go through this. I do hope that he seeks help very soon.

He sounds like he's dealing with a lot, including fear. It may be a good time not to be hard on him about smoking...but before you guys kiss and hug, I hope he brushes his teeth. I've often thought that the wives of baseball players who chew tobacco must be very tolerant.

You're seeing the same doctor and that's good. It sounds like he's going through a lot of stuff and I wonder if a support group for both of you might be helpful.

Take gentle care

First off can I say that I commend you for caring enough about him to post here and try to help him .. I have a friend who i'm afraid of losing right now because she doesn't get it, and probably doesn't care.