Bipolar Support Group

Betrayal hurts, and finding out that your boyfriend may be making fun of you behind your back definitely feels like a big betrayal. Loyalty is one of the things we expect from the people we love. My husband and I have a rule about it. I don't say bad things about my husband to other people and he isn't allowed to say bad things about me to other people. It would crush me to find out that he said anything mean about me behind my back, so I can really understand how badly you feel right now.

On the other hand, we bipolar folk can be extremely super sensitive, especially to any perceived criticism. Is it possible that your boyfriend is just sharing things with his friends to help him deal with your moods? It's a very fine line, I know.

Have you discussed this with your boyfriend? Men can be really dense sometimes about our feelings (no offense meant to the wonderful men in this group). He may not have any idea how much his actions would hurt you. We're all thoughtless sometimes.

Perhaps if you discuss it with him you can make him understand that it hurts your feelings and that you don't like it. After all, he probably wouldn't appreciate it if you did the same thing to him.

Big hugs, and again, welcome to the group. We're glad to have you.

If so, you can talk about it without admitting to snooping. Just a thought.

Please don't think of your cycling as shameful. You have a disease. That's nothing to be ashamed of.

Just a thought.

It's not ok to make fun of you to his buddies at all but he probably has no clue how to deal. We all need that friend that we can talk to and sometimes men will use the wrong words to explain/express.

Ever see that story where the woman feels like the man is withdrawn and isn't talking and won't open up to his wife. His wife thinks he's having an affair or is about to leave....at the same time the man is thinking that his motorcycle won't start and doesn't know why. He's got a simple problem and is trying to process it and his energy is putting out a totally different vibe.

I'm not sure how you are feeling today but the only thing you can do it sit with him and talk to him. Having open comunication is the key for this to work. If this is the first time he sees you like this he might be totally freaked out with no clue how to get "you" back.

I've been in many relationships where the woman would say "I want "that" guy back" and in all honesty he never existed. He was me in a manic state and that person was seeing me in "normal" state and couldn't cope....couldn't blame them either because normal me is not so much fun.

We all have that friend that we unload on and at the same time this friend can be a plus or a minus. A good friend listens and takes in and a bad one will add fuel to the fire and make you mad. A good friend will be there for support.

I hope this was helpfull and I hope it all works out for you.

Your boyfriend is new to this whole thing. It sounds like this is the first time he has actually seen what BP is for you - he's probably spent the past year thinking it was no big deal. The last few weeks will have scared the pants off of him. He's watching you go through a pretty horrible experience, you sound like you're unpredictable and he has no idea what to do about it. People hate being helpless when it comes to the people they love, and our loved ones can feel pretty helpless at times like this. The letter may just be a way of describing the situation so his friends can support him. They might already know you have bipolar so he didn't explain that.

If he was making a joke, could it just be his way of coping and he doesn't realise it's insensitive? Not the best strategy I know. My husband makes jokes about my bipolar (e.g. when is hypomanic TwoHearts coming back to do housework? This place is filthy!). I don't particularly like the jokes, but I understand he needs to pretend it doesn't have any negative effect on our lives so he can cope when it does. We do have a rule when it's appropriate though.

If you don't want to confront him about the letter maybe you could just ask how he's coping? If you can't talk to him, do you have someone you trust who can check up on him? Like a friend/relative who has seen you like this before. They can give him some support and they can suss our how he really feels so you can get a better idea about what the letter meant.

I hope things work out for you.