Bipolar Support Group

Today I am desperate and beyond anger. I am so angry that I am shaking and my mother pushed an Ativan on me. That NEVER happens because I am pretty good at hiding things after all these years. She says I am headed toward a breakdown. I hope not. I also just had a medication change for seizures. That is very recent though so it may be to hard to know if that is related at all. I am crying so hard again. We are going to look at cars again. I definitely are not going to buy anything and we are going to look at cars that are MUCH cheaper than what I had. My insurance is going to go through the roof I am sure. I cannot stop crying. I am physically shaking so much it is hard to type. I need someone to grab me and just give me a huge hug. I need God to come to me and hold me at this time. It was a traumatic experience and one I cannot get past. I know my friend said I have to face it but I just fell into tears. I am so angry and hurt. It cope I have been organizing paperwork. I cry for hours. I do not sleep anymore. I just sit on my bed with my computer afraid to be alone. I watch the pictures in my mind play over and over. I try to distract with Photoshop which I love. I also try to distract with piano but that hurts a bit. I want God to hold me tight. I want to hear the words that things will be okay. This was almost a week ago so GET OVER IT IDNK!!! I am such a freak. I am a damn piece of shit that deserves to go to hell. This summer sucks and life just gets worse the more I live. I am an ungrateful bitch. I could have KILLED my brother in that accident. I could have died. Maybe I DID die and this is my hell. Maybe you don't see this message and no one will respond. Maybe God has left my side. I cannot stop crying. I was always taught that heaven is closeness to God. Well I feel so far away from God so maybe I am in hell. I need a hug. I need someone to hold me. I need help I think. I feel too weak, to angry, too upset. Dear God please come to me. Hold me. Help me. The world is closing in around me. It is suffocating me. Dear Lord help me. Hold me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(((((IDNK)))))

It takes time to get over a trauma like a car wreck, especially when you are injured, so give yourself a break. You're not a freak because you can't just instantly forget it.

You do not deserve to go to hell. Please try to stop thinking that way. You are a good person who is going through a bad time, that's all.

Big, big hugs.

Thank you Catbaloo for your support and for responding.

I thought I would be in a cave with no response.

I guess it sounds selfish but responses me a lot.

To see if anyone cares...

Thanks for caring...

You will get past this. It will take time. Be gentle with yourself.

Thank you cneterseeker for your words and kindness.

Wish I could stop the tears

I cannot be around people

I cannot

I cannot

I cannot

Each day gets worse

Hi IDNK...like said above it takes time for everyone to get over a crisis...it just takes us longer. In my own case it is short. I use distractions so much that my wife gets irritated. This crisis will pass. Big Hugs!

you need to talk/type and get it out. If you both survived the accident then that is all that is important. Insurance will come back down after time and cars are replaceble. Take things one minute at a time and when you can cope with that then try for an hour at a time.

We tend to shut down and close up but if you have one person to talk to then try to take that step and go there. If you don't please keep posting on here about your life and how it's going and we'll try to walk with you and hold your hand.

Someone times a broken leg feels better than the trauma caused by an accident. At least people will see the cast and not just say: well you came out of that totally ok. A few years back I stopped at a stop sign and a big truck with huge tires drove over the car and right onto the steering wheel....flipped him over and I watched the tire drive up. The kid driving the truck knew I was coming and the neighbour stopped me from getting to the driver.....still bothers me today and didn't get one scratch.

You might want to talk to the doc about the meds because any change can have an effect on things....anything changed can change everything....

I hope you find what you need.