Bipolar Support Group

I just had a mini nervous breakdown. I need some love and support. I was put on trileptal trying to normalize for my wedding in a month. I was hypermanic because of bdays, holidays and then my kids and me all being sick OVER AND OVER for TWO MONTHS. I was BADLY sleep deprived and on top of sickness, exhaustion and stress I planned the wedding I have been wanting for 6 years and I went nutso on the tripleptal. As soon as I hit 900 mg I became terrified and paranoid and felt icy fear and nausea and shakes and heart pounding out of my chest and electric shock feelings that even woke me up at night. I became abysmally depressed DURING the hypermania and ended up in a hospital for 3 days for the first time in my life at 36!!! They put me on lithium 600 mgs and Klonopin and Trazadone to sleep. Now I am sedate and not fearful but still shaky and depressed. I STILL CANNOT EAT! I'm losing several pounds a week. Food is unappealing. I'm the lowest weight I have been since having kids 9 years ago. It felt so good to be around other bipolar girls in the hospital who were beautiful, fun, funny, smart, well-dressed, terrific people struggling the same way I was. I need some friends. I also need to get out of the house more. One good thing is that negative frightening thoughts and the WHAT IFs and worse case scenarios that race though my head have dissipated!!! Please share if you have gone through something similar. I also feel my stress hormones cortisol and my adrenal glands are SHOT ALL THE HECK! I am doing yoga and taking fish oil and B 12 too and getting lots of rest and trying to relax and de-stress. I can't believe this happened to me! I should also say my PDOC was sick when I went nuts on the trileptal and her NURSE told me just quit it cold turkey and I should not have any side effects. This actually made me 10 times worse. Thank god that drug is out of my system.!

I've only experienced one hypomanic episode (currently hypmanic), but I experience many of the same things you do when I'm manic. I'm paranoid, stressed out, confused, have trouble making decisions, distracted, I want to do 10 things at once and am very restless. Getting out of the house and focusing on others instead of your moods is a very good idea. If I were you, I'd contact your pdoc to let them know about the breakdown you've had so that your meds can be tweaked if necessary.

Post edited by: neondreams, at: 02/18/2009 11:02

when you just want to chat you can go to the anyone awake thread and find a general discussion there.

Oh she knows I went in to the hospital and what I am on I see her Friday I like lithium so far it's my 11th med of course they had me on antidepressants for 5 years not knowing I was bipoar! Yeah I worked out 44 hours last month and my house was IMMACULATE! I also get confused, can't concentrate, can't choose (I always ask others opinions), I shop, I get tattoos, I am a friendly, outgoing leader type...depression is devastating. I can hardly breathe or eat or dress...I talk in a whisper and feel the world is in gray and not color...

I took lamictal in Dec. but it made me fast. Also agressive or I should say irritable and bitchy also VERY VERY VERY fatigued and I got sores ALL OVER MY MOUTH!

I'm glad your pdoc is aware of what happened. I know it's difficult, but try to hang in there. I'm still trying to find the right med combo for me. I was stable for 3 weeks until I experienced 4 episodes in 2 weeks. It's going to take time to find the right meds, but once you do, the wait will definitely be worth it.

snowgembabygirl,

Hey there, it sounds like you've really been through a lot. I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. Be kind to yourself and try to be patient, maybe your new med combo is the right one and you'll be on your way to feeling better soon.