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ZadieBlue Posts: 3760
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I forwarded some photos of my apartment / building to my landlord and he asked how things are going with the upstairs neighbors. Real answer: Awful. I hate them. They're idiots. They grab hold and try to control everything. But I can't say that. It takes me 3 drafts but I finally explain the situation, substituting in words like "puzzling," and I address their [gigantic] sense of entitlement. I have to. It can't be ignored. Example: Early on they asked that I not use the water while they showered [shyeahhhh, right]. I let them use my fire pit and they 1) used wood covered in lighter fluid or gasoline, then 2) just dumped the charcoal on the ground for my dogs to eat [picture black charcoal vomit on white carpet, repeatedly]. For months I tried to get them to pick it up -- even put it in writing -- until finally I spent 2 hours cleaning it. I then took the fire pit away. I pay tons of rent, so why am I feeling so weird reporting all this? Zadie "I'm going to quit -- dried turkey." - Anonymous
"I forgot my mantra." - Annie Hall
"Knocked me on the head and sent me spinning
It was a blast I can't remember the last time
Stand between two poles and hold your arms up
I'll kick me over your head and stock down . . . " - Throwing Muses
Female, age 37
Bipolar I (mild)
Episodes / cycling happen most often during Spring and Fall allergy season; some dissociation possible during episodes.
GAD dx 12/11, PTSD traits, ED (in recovery)
Boarding school survivor :)
PSYCH:
Adderall 15 mg x 2 Prozac 40 mg Ativan 1.5 mg Geodon 120 mg Starting Lithium again
(Levothyroxine 50 mcg Atenolol 12.5 mg x 2 Clonidine 0.1 mg x 3).
ALLERGY / ASTHMA -- (Winter / Spring cocktail): Levocetirizine Alvesco HFA 160 mcg Ketotifen Fumarate PRN • Flovent ProAir PRN
Mercy Buckets to everyone!!!
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centerseeker Posts: 2852
VIP Member
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I can't say why you are having trouble but for me I know I struggle with being perceived as a trouble maker, even when my concerns are valid. They sound like real schmucks. I hope you are able to get that letter written! "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanore Roosevelt
"If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete." Jack Kornfield
"My goal in life is to be the person my dogs think I am" anonymous
bipolar/ADD
Depakote 1250 mg
Cymbalta 120 mg
propranolol 20 mg
geoden 160
I quit smoking May 28th 2012! |
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ZadieBlue Posts: 3760
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I just planted my garden and I'm afraid I'm going to have to move out of this apartment to another town, idk, I feel like I ought to be packing right now, I wanna get out of here but it's sooooooo scary at the same time, it makes me feel like doing something rash and THAT'S NOT GOOD, my flight mechanism has been activated and I'm a wus I took 2-3x extra Librium to calm myself down, it's safe but it was a mistake, I wanna disappear and get out of this situation, I'm stressed and I feel hopeless, don't mind my wretchedness, I hate it when I'm stripped of power, when I have no voice, and I hate people who do that to me ughhhhh!!!  (((( "I'm going to quit -- dried turkey." - Anonymous
"I forgot my mantra." - Annie Hall
"Knocked me on the head and sent me spinning
It was a blast I can't remember the last time
Stand between two poles and hold your arms up
I'll kick me over your head and stock down . . . " - Throwing Muses
Female, age 37
Bipolar I (mild)
Episodes / cycling happen most often during Spring and Fall allergy season; some dissociation possible during episodes.
GAD dx 12/11, PTSD traits, ED (in recovery)
Boarding school survivor :)
PSYCH:
Adderall 15 mg x 2 Prozac 40 mg Ativan 1.5 mg Geodon 120 mg Starting Lithium again
(Levothyroxine 50 mcg Atenolol 12.5 mg x 2 Clonidine 0.1 mg x 3).
ALLERGY / ASTHMA -- (Winter / Spring cocktail): Levocetirizine Alvesco HFA 160 mcg Ketotifen Fumarate PRN • Flovent ProAir PRN
Mercy Buckets to everyone!!! |
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ZadieBlue Posts: 3760
VIP Member
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Wrote that email but then called my landlord -- at this point one might say that I was overreacting, but I just wanted to figure out the situation. Didn't get much info, I just felt like a big pain in the ass. I'm miserable with regard to my living arrangements. A few hours later: Total implosion, wanting to take a long walk off a short pier. I'm so pissed off and powerless. "I'm going to quit -- dried turkey." - Anonymous
"I forgot my mantra." - Annie Hall
"Knocked me on the head and sent me spinning
It was a blast I can't remember the last time
Stand between two poles and hold your arms up
I'll kick me over your head and stock down . . . " - Throwing Muses
Female, age 37
Bipolar I (mild)
Episodes / cycling happen most often during Spring and Fall allergy season; some dissociation possible during episodes.
GAD dx 12/11, PTSD traits, ED (in recovery)
Boarding school survivor :)
PSYCH:
Adderall 15 mg x 2 Prozac 40 mg Ativan 1.5 mg Geodon 120 mg Starting Lithium again
(Levothyroxine 50 mcg Atenolol 12.5 mg x 2 Clonidine 0.1 mg x 3).
ALLERGY / ASTHMA -- (Winter / Spring cocktail): Levocetirizine Alvesco HFA 160 mcg Ketotifen Fumarate PRN • Flovent ProAir PRN
Mercy Buckets to everyone!!! |
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porch52  Posts: 716
Member
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I hate that feeling. I always feel like if I'm sticking up for myself in a tough situation that I'm putting other people out, and feel rude, emotional and overreacting. Calling your landlord doesn't sound like overreacting to me. There's a big issue going on, especially for the health of your pets! Poor things! I had issues with my other tennants, and I was luckly that my landlord believed in me. I always paid rent on time, never called for stupid things, never had anyone call him on me. He was smart enough to know not to mess with a great tennant. I'm betting if you sleep it over, take up the email again tomorrow morning and send it you might feel better. You're doing nothing wrong by sticking up for yourself. If you aren't there to look out for you first, who is?? |
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ZadieBlue Posts: 3760
VIP Member
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I've given my landlord six years but I get no credit for this vs. these recent college grads who have been around for a mere year. A button has been pushed. I'm trying hard not to "act out," like going to that one bar where people go to hook up. I've never left that place alone. " . . . For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand". -- Yeats "I'm going to quit -- dried turkey." - Anonymous
"I forgot my mantra." - Annie Hall
"Knocked me on the head and sent me spinning
It was a blast I can't remember the last time
Stand between two poles and hold your arms up
I'll kick me over your head and stock down . . . " - Throwing Muses
Female, age 37
Bipolar I (mild)
Episodes / cycling happen most often during Spring and Fall allergy season; some dissociation possible during episodes.
GAD dx 12/11, PTSD traits, ED (in recovery)
Boarding school survivor :)
PSYCH:
Adderall 15 mg x 2 Prozac 40 mg Ativan 1.5 mg Geodon 120 mg Starting Lithium again
(Levothyroxine 50 mcg Atenolol 12.5 mg x 2 Clonidine 0.1 mg x 3).
ALLERGY / ASTHMA -- (Winter / Spring cocktail): Levocetirizine Alvesco HFA 160 mcg Ketotifen Fumarate PRN • Flovent ProAir PRN
Mercy Buckets to everyone!!! |
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ZadieBlue Posts: 3760
VIP Member
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Okay, I was totally vying for someone to say, "No! Don't go out! You'll regret it, you're self medicating, you don't need a male slut to feel better!". Not anyone's fault, this is not a crisis board. I am totally going out and taking advantage of a guy's affections. Screw it. It'll make me feel better. Right now I feel like sh@t run over multiple times on a freeway. I need someone to tell me I'm pretty, but I don't know if this'll happen due to my bad attitude and lack of respect for people (just being honest). "I'm going to quit -- dried turkey." - Anonymous
"I forgot my mantra." - Annie Hall
"Knocked me on the head and sent me spinning
It was a blast I can't remember the last time
Stand between two poles and hold your arms up
I'll kick me over your head and stock down . . . " - Throwing Muses
Female, age 37
Bipolar I (mild)
Episodes / cycling happen most often during Spring and Fall allergy season; some dissociation possible during episodes.
GAD dx 12/11, PTSD traits, ED (in recovery)
Boarding school survivor :)
PSYCH:
Adderall 15 mg x 2 Prozac 40 mg Ativan 1.5 mg Geodon 120 mg Starting Lithium again
(Levothyroxine 50 mcg Atenolol 12.5 mg x 2 Clonidine 0.1 mg x 3).
ALLERGY / ASTHMA -- (Winter / Spring cocktail): Levocetirizine Alvesco HFA 160 mcg Ketotifen Fumarate PRN • Flovent ProAir PRN
Mercy Buckets to everyone!!! |
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uncertainone Posts: 703
Member
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Zadie, You are going out and going to have sex with some complete stranger because your neighbors are pissing you off??? Why don't you just tell the neighbors off??? I don't get it. I think maybe you are just bored and a little hypomanic and want to get out. Be careful. But you do what you want to. (At least find someone really cute!!!) Good luck, Maria Bipolar NOS
Fish oil 2400mg, Folic Acid 800 mcg., B-complex with vitamin C 300mcg, B-12 1000 mcg, N-Acetyl Cysteine 2400 mg, Magnesium 400 mg, Acetyl-L Carnitine 1000 mg, Benadryl 1-2 tabs as needed, 1 asprin
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zinc 50mg (should be 15 but I bought the wrong dose-next time) per Dr Oz how to boost your metabolism |
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ZadieBlue Posts: 3760
VIP Member
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It's not just the neighbors -- everything's out of control and I just don't give a damn anymore. Besides, it's fun controlling yourself and others by rebuffing their advances. I'm in TOTAL bitch mode . . . . "I'm going to quit -- dried turkey." - Anonymous
"I forgot my mantra." - Annie Hall
"Knocked me on the head and sent me spinning
It was a blast I can't remember the last time
Stand between two poles and hold your arms up
I'll kick me over your head and stock down . . . " - Throwing Muses
Female, age 37
Bipolar I (mild)
Episodes / cycling happen most often during Spring and Fall allergy season; some dissociation possible during episodes.
GAD dx 12/11, PTSD traits, ED (in recovery)
Boarding school survivor :)
PSYCH:
Adderall 15 mg x 2 Prozac 40 mg Ativan 1.5 mg Geodon 120 mg Starting Lithium again
(Levothyroxine 50 mcg Atenolol 12.5 mg x 2 Clonidine 0.1 mg x 3).
ALLERGY / ASTHMA -- (Winter / Spring cocktail): Levocetirizine Alvesco HFA 160 mcg Ketotifen Fumarate PRN • Flovent ProAir PRN
Mercy Buckets to everyone!!! |
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porch52 Posts: 716
Member
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Zadie, just be safe, okay? Keep us updated on how you're doing. We care about you. (((hugs))) |
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"What MD Junction means to me is a place where i can feel like im not alone. As someone with something as rare as hydrocephalus, it feels like im the only one in the world with it. When i came to MD, its like everyone has it. It doesnt feel like im alone. And that people need to hold up a sign to say what i have, because people know. And they understand. I can get questions answered from people who have been through it rather than from doctors or people who only can tell you from a physical standpoint. THat is what MD junction means to me." (tomboykimi)
