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05/07/2012 08:18 PM

How you used to be....

Rachelsstar
Rachelsstar  
Posts: 21
Member

Today my Mom introduced me to a girl with the same first name as me. She talked and laughed and was very "bubbly." After she left the room, my Mom said, "she reminds me of how you used to be." That crushed my soul...
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05/07/2012 08:34 PM
porch52
porch52Posts: 717
Member

Aw Rachel, what a hard thing to hear! Especially from someone you love and trust. It's hard to hear about peoples feelings about your actions at different times when you have no control over behaviours so much of the time.

I remember my sister one day saying she missed me at a party, when I was depressed. I told her it really wouldn't have been fun for her, but she said she meant the "real" me. It makes me feel like the "current" me isn't good enough.

You are a wonderful person just as you are. Not because I know you, but because you are you, and no one else. Remaining true to yourself in the moment is hardest to do sometimes, but remember, you're so much stronger than you think you are, and you are exactly as you were ever supposed to be, without getting too spiritual.

(((hugs)))


05/07/2012 08:39 PM
zephry1967
zephry1967  
Posts: 124
Member

I got that alot from my ex. Like I had any control over what was happening, other than taking my meds. Maybe you could tell your mom how much that hurt.

05/07/2012 08:46 PM
porch52
porch52Posts: 717
Member

IS your mom very educated on bipolar or willing to be? I thought my parenst were not open to it, but I just started sending articles her way and slowly she opened up. If she's willing, it could be a good bondong experience, Zephry's right.

05/08/2012 11:49 AM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16686
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

I'm sorry that your mom said that and it hurt you so much. That wasn't really nice of her to do. I hope that she can take the time to learn about your illness and try to understand. It can be a lot better when people know what to and what not to say to someone with a mental illness. I hope that she thinks before she talks. I would tell her that it upset you so she knows not to say something like that. I'm sorry you had to hear that. I hope you feel better by now. You will get there and we are here to help you.

05/08/2012 11:58 AM
skeptical
skeptical  
Posts: 1156
Senior Member

Statements like that are infuriating, and hurt alot, especially from your mother. Sometimes I feel like there is more than one "me" but when it comes down to it, all of my moods and every single face I show to people, no matter how much they differ, are all part of me, one singular person. Take it all or leave it alone. Don't make comments that aim to point out which face you prefer over another!

I am sorry your mother said that, it is kind of an ignorant statement, and maybe she doesn't know any better. That won't make it sting less, but maybe she just needs some educating.


05/08/2012 05:33 PM
Rachelsstar
Rachelsstar  
Posts: 21
Member

I don't think she meant to be hurtful. I talked to her about it today and told her how much it hurt to hear. She apologized, but I really don't think she understands the severity of my illness. I gave her some information on bipolar....I hope it helps.
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