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05/06/2012 06:41 PM

No More Resentment

CAust3
Posts: 17
Member

I don't have to be bitter.

A simple statement, but a bold one for me.

I was unemployed (and drunk) for eight months. During this time I didn't almost, or kinda, lose my mind--I fully did. I lost it.

During my last months of college, I was diagnosed and was prescribed meds. And then I graduated, and was left without a means to pay for those those meds for months and months and months.

Did that severest, worst, most self-centered of acts enter my mind? The Big S? Of course. I was almost there at many points. Too many.

But then I got a job. My dream job, in fact. It's been very hard sometimes, but I would never go back to my life before.

So I don't have to be bitter any more. At last, it seems like the universe is being kind to me. My friends stand by me, I have a WONDERFUL online support group to help me, and really just have no reason to be sad and resentful anymore.

Yeah, I still get upset and worked-up a lot. A LOT. Too much, sometimes. I still break down, explode, weep, bleed, and scream. But I'm slowly putting all that to rest. It will take some time ('cause I do everything a little later than everyone else) but I will get there. I will find my peace. And that makes it all okay.

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05/06/2012 07:39 PM
uncertainone
Posts: 754
Member

That's great to hear that you have your dream job and are doing better!!!Smile

Sometimes life kicks you in the butt, but if you keep trying somehow it usually turns around. Best of luck, Maria


05/06/2012 07:58 PM
nurse932
Posts: 576
Member

Three cheers for your positive attitude.

The more positive we think, the more our brain gets wired that way.

At first it feels fake, but after a while it feels as natural as it can get.

Good luck


05/06/2012 08:04 PM
skeptical
skeptical  
Posts: 1130
Senior Member

There is something to be said for having your dream job, or even close to what you think might be your dream. The field of Occupational Therapy had it's beginnings in insane asylums, providing patients with the opportunity to OCCUPY themselves with meaningful activities, rather than being left to sit and fester all day with the demons of their illness. No matter how trivial the activity was, like making simple crafts, it made a huge impact on the well-being of these patients. I only mention this to point out how crucial it is for people to be engaged in something that makes them feel like a productive and helpful member of society.

I am not quite near where you seem to be when you say you will find your peace, I have yet to feel like that will ever come for me. However, since getting my current job almost one year ago, things have been on a steady uprise for me. I would consider this job to be my dream job, more so because of the positive environment and my awesome coworkers, but of course also because of the nature of the job. I finally found an occupation that makes me feel great, and I do not dread going back in every Monday morning.

I am glad for you that you are in such a great place. It is nice to read such a positive post on a forum that naturally tends towards negativity. Thanks!


05/06/2012 08:45 PM
Hounden
Hounden  
Posts: 206
Member

Thanks for this post. I have been working on being greatful and losing the resentments. I also like that you point out that even in your dream job you still get mad, sad, etc.. It too feel all of that and then get down on myself because I think I am the only one. I start calling myself stupid, that I don't deserve to enjoy success, and "if the world only knew"...

Your post made my evening. Thanks. Smile

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